How can mom be with dad for over 20 something years then all of a sudden hate him?

My parents are divorcing.

They have been struggling for several years now after a cheating incident.

But my mom says she hates my dad.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She doesn't "Hate" him, @Cloud2222, she is so In Love with him that the Pain is a Drain, and she can't Do it Anymore.
    It Happens all of the Time when Parents up End up Splitting up. Please, don't choose sides, be everyone's Friend to the End. Each of them are Going to Need you more than Ever now.
    Good luck and My own Blessings. xx

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some incidents, (finding your SO cheated, finding out they were a pedophile, or a murderer) can engender instant hatred. It's not shocking.

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What Girls Said 7

  • How can mom be with dad for over 20 something years then all of a sudden hate him?
    Being with someone X amount of years doesn't mean you can't hate them. If someone does something shitty you can quite easily hate them- ie abuse you, cheat on you, etc. I find for some gals love is not unconditional they don't believe that a guy can treat her however he wants and she'll love him.

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  • All the time it happens
    no bigger traitor than sexual ones, sorry - it's the typical feeling, maybe not my go-to feeling after all these years seeing how weak others are

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  • They're both just completely over it. I think it comes to the point where both of them can't stand each other. My parents have done the same, yet they are together for 31 years

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  • I'm willing to bet she doesn't actually hate him but obviously there are other emotions and things at play here and there are things that have probably been hurting both of thrm for a very long time.
    You won't understand the why because most likely they don't even understand.

    Good luck with it all and I'm sorry 😞

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  • The anger and hatred had to build up over time :/ I'm sorry

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  • feelings are transient
    there are situations that come up which can affect how a person feels for another

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  • He could have gotten them into a lot of debt. Happens... but divorce will only make the debt worse except if mom wins she can really hurt dad financially possibly.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It sounds to me like she feels that she can't trust him anymore. After 20 years that sort of betrayal of trust can raise many questions. Has he done it before? How many times has he done it that he isn't admitting to? Can I believe anything he says now? And so on and so forth. As others have said here, I doubt she truly hates him. Once that trust has been broken it can sometimes be impossible to get it back.

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  • Kind of important to know who was involved with the "cheating incident." Who cheated on who? With whom? I mean not to pry, but you're asking big questions, could be lots of different answers.

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  • Who cheated... mom or dad? What is the age difference? Do they both work? Hobbies? This question is a bit vague...

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  • People change and not always in a way we'd
    like.

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  • sorry man

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