We just got married and got our own place to rent. Where we live, its quite expensive and people just get by.. living pay cheque to paycheque.
husband wanted us to live with his family in their basement. His family wanted this too (mostly to keep him close.. only son). I was okay with it in the beginning, but once I got to know his family and my sister in laws (not nice) and lots of things happened, I went against the idea and we ended up renting.
we had an argument last night about this and he basically exploded saying he "got a place just to make ME happy, but if id just agree to live with his family, we'd have more money saved to go out etc".
i explained to him, and before also, that its difficult to live with in laws.
Now im quite upset but he keeps apologizing (he said some nasty things). I just feel he's thinking more about the money THAN my comfort and peace of mind.. do I have the right to be upset?
Most Helpful Guy
You both have a right to be upset. This is a perfect example of the give and take that goes with being in a relationship. Can you maybe deal with the basement for a couple years until you are ready to move on? That's something that YOU would be giving up for him. A sacrifice in the name of a relationship with someone you love. And maybe you ask that he defends and sticks up for you when you guys are there.
Maybe he will be the one to take the sacrifice for you and he'll deal with the money problem. He'll go out less, maybe pick up a second job or be more careful with what he buys.
Really though, I think you guys need to go to the basement. Money is something that should scare the shit out of you. If you're living paycheck to paycheck it's only a matter of time till you end up in debt. All you need is a car problem or a rise in property tax, natural gas prices, home insurance (which translates to rent)
You guys should really take the free living conditions and save up $10,000-$20,000 because believe me, $5,000 can leave you in a heartbeat.
And who knows, maybe you have to hate each other or be stuck together before you can all get along. Just always try to get along without coming across as someone on a high horse.
He did get a place just to make you happy and it was a really bad decision. But that only means he cares about you a lot. You can't get mad at him for saying that to you. You're lucky to have a husband who is so intelligent and while I think you two need to support each other, I really think the basement idea is a lot better for you in the long run.0
Most Helpful Girl
You have the right to be upset, but he did apologise for his words. Marriage is about compromise, sometimes we do things we don't really want to to make our spouse happy and it sounds like he did this for you. I completely understand not wanting to live with in-laws but he had a right to feel like it would have been easier to save money.
Not to mention if he gets along with his family he's probably got no problem living with them so it's just your feelings that got you renting0