Do you care about weddings? Is it really important to have one?

So my boyfriend and I decided not to have a wedding, we really love each other we just agreed that the money we will spend on a wedding can be spent to do other things like traveling to different states together or continue saving and buy a nice house. He is still planning on buying me a ring and I will be buying him one as well and we will go to our county court and get a marriage certificate so I can change my name. We decided on doing this because my parents has been together ever since high school and they never had a wedding. His auntie and her husband has been together for a long time as well and they didn't have a wedding either.
Hearing stories about how some women wants a huge wedding and expensive things I don't really understand why. I mean if you are marrying someone you love why care for expensive dresses and where it's located?

Updates:
1mo Also sometimes it seems like some do it to show off. I'm not talking about anyone it just looks. Like this one lady spend $25,000 for a dress.
1mo * just look like it

0|2
14|9

Most Helpful Guy

  • I do because if I make the vow it's for life for better or worse... It means something to me. a lot of people come from broken homes so the what's the point... of spending that amount of money. 50% of marrages end in divorce so sure why spend on a wedding. Most likely when girls fuck 30 dudes in a year the family will care, but not as much as inviting all your friends and family for a wedding that cost $100 a plate. and later get a divorce.. I dated a girl for 7 years and never got her a ring because she was not the one... it sucks being single at 27 but what would be worse is I had to spend 2000 for divorce papers. I am not gay but I see more love in them then most stright people. And another thing I spend about 2000 a year on going to weddings unless it's one of my close friends I usually don't bother anymore. I have wasted 6200 on people who got divorced within 5 years. that's my rant you struck a cord with me

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Sorry that I struck a cord with you. I understand, both our lives wasn't perfect. When my dad mother died he just wasn't his self fell into depression lost his job and we lost our home, we ended up having to stay at a hotel until things got better. My boyfriend had it rough as well. It was times when he had to ask me for help. We just think that instead of spending tons of money for a wedding we can use that for a home or just going places together. I do agree though my manager spent a lot of money for his wedding and 2 years later they were getting a divorced. I love looking at gay couples because I can actually see the love they have for each other especially when I look at my gay best friend and my sister and her girlfriend. That is a lot of money, once again I am sorry.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      okay I see your point to spend a hundred grand Plus on a wedding is ridiculous but you still wanted to be something you can look back on with positive vibes and if the wedding is low key that's OK too. best of luck to you. cheers

    • 1mo

      Thank you so much and I appreciate your opinion

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's important to me that I get married. The wedding doesn't have to be a huge deal.

    I'm currently planning my wedding for 300 guests. If I had my way (which, despite what everyone says, the bride doesn't really have her way :p) I'd get married in my back yard with like 10 people and then we'd roast hot dogs.

    But he wants the big church wedding with a billion guests. So... we're having a big church wedding with a billion guests :/ lol

    But as long as we're married at the end of the day... That's what matters.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      That sounds nice getting married in your backyard I was thinking about doing something simple like this park has this cute garden and you can reserve it for special occasions like a wedding.
      LOL he must know a lot of people haha
      And yes that is true.

What Guys Said 8

  • I will try to avoid a wedding as much as possible. I am nervous about planning the wedding and all the logistics. I am nervous about having to choose ring and set up a perfect "proposal scenario". And I dont like the idea of the expense of a wedding and how women are always comparing one wedding to another as if it was a contest. "Oh do you remember Monica;s wedding in Paris? THey rented a 30 million dollar mansion and limousines... Do you remember Isabel's wedding? On that gorgeous yaht and the priest flew in on a helicopter?" Ugggg... and then of course there is the uncomfortable issue of a pre-nup

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Right!! On the radio these women was actually complaining because someone had a better wedding than them. Yes I remember, already I'm getting weird looks when someone ask me and my response is: I love him and knowing that I will be using his last name I always feel so grateful, I don't care for big weddings. Having a big wedding doesn't mean how much in love you are it's just showing off. I was so angry at my friend cousin for crying because no one didn't like the wedding dress she always wanted and she didn't but it, like seriously who cares!! I just don't understand it. Right exactly.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      I think I am WRONG with my phobias of marriage and of "being judged" by the girl's friends as providing a lack-luster wedding compared to her friend that married a rich lawyer for example.

      So your soon to be husband is probably not as worried about that kind of stuff as I am. But the best advice is for you to tell him that you would be happy with a simple wedding. Something nice but not something that costs over $5000. This way you can have a nice wedding and still have some money to begin your life together like buying a house and all the furniture and stuff. Good Luck! Live happily ever after! =)

    • 1mo

      It's understandable though I mean it's not your fault. It really isn't.
      Thank you so much I will definitely talk to him
      Thank you again it truly means a lot! 😊

  • I don't know. I don't think it's all that important. I mean it's mostly just a celebration if anything. It's a legal way to bind 2 together. It's more professional I suppose.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i definitely dont care about it because im not getting married or having kids.. i value my freedom too much to box myself in by doing the above

    0|1
    0|0
    • 1mo

      That's understandable, my manager decided to do the same once after his first marriage failed. Honestly he is really happy now and knowing that he can enjoy his money without having to worry about using it for kids or anything

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      im glad to hear you beat your depression :)

    • 1mo

      Thank you so much it really means a lot 😊

  • Guys wearing an engagement ring is confusing to me.

    Unless you're buying him a wedding band?

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Yes I meant wedding band sorry

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      There ya go! If you're that worried about it go to Tahiti or something.

    • 1mo

      Thank you I'm definitely going to think about it.

  • hmm I wanna get married but I don't need a big wedding. Only civil marriage is enough for me

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wedding is 100% important to me. Poor people can go for Court Marriage.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Honestly, i think about marriage and having wife, kids but i see marriage as being just a piece of paper and really, if i legally marry a girl and she has a income and makes lot money i could lose half of what i have monthly coming in and if our income is the same type like disability , they always lower the wife's income which is not fair to no one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Necessary no a fun way to blow $100 000 fuck ya my advice would be to take a trip to Vegas and hit up the drive through wedding chapel

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      That sounds fun!!! And I'm pretty sure they have nice hotel suites and things do for people on their honeymoon.

    • 1mo

      I always get treated well in vegas but it sounds like where in different tax bracket and I have a bit of a gambling problem and there a track where you can rent and race supercars

    • 1mo

      Vegas sounds really fun to go, I'm just afraid to gamble I can see myself gambling and lose but will keep going

What Girls Said 13

  • What matters is that you get married legally. A wedding is a ceremony for people to acknowledge. You should not have to spend over a certain amount on a wedding dress or a ring. In fact my close friend got married with paying only $7K for hers, 100's of people came to their wedding at the church. And it wasn't so crazy with the expenses. Everybody tried to pitch in however they could. You don't have to have a ceremony now. You can always do so later on when the time is right.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      If friends and family was willing to help I would have a nice small simple wedding. I guess seeing my parents have a little simple small go to the courthouse marriage I thought it was really sweet and he liked it as well when his auntie and her husband went to a courthouse. Thank you

    • 1mo

      @lostgirl_searching

      That's what my parents did besides a small reception. But i still believe that a wedding ceremony is still important. But if you don't have the money now, then wait until the money is up to do that. You got to do what is best for the both of you at the end of the day.

    • 1mo

      Yes that is is true and thank you again, I will definitely talk to my boyfriend about it

  • I thought I would feel this way but I actually loved my wedding. Being able to spend a whole day with all of our loved ones and have them witness our commitment was just amazing, especially as we don't see some of them very often.
    It's definitely expensive but these days there are so many budget options like having it somewhere everyone can pay for their own food and drinks (in lieu of gifts). We had a photo booth and made a guestbook with all the strips, I still look through it and love seeing everyone have so much fun with us.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      We still want our family and close friends witness us it's just going to be at our county court. Weddings are beautiful I just thought something really simple like what when planned it makes me happy. Even if some people will say court marriage is for poor people. It doesn't matter because at the end I am married to him. We will still have fun we will all have dinner together and even have a family picnic with all of us together. His family hasn't met mines so seeing them all together it's going to mean a lot. I understand what you are saying though. :)

    • 1mo

      If everyone can come together it's a wedding babe! The cost doesn't define it and there are so many diy and cheaper options for outfits and rings. Etsy had some beautiful and unique jewellery, my husband has gone through so many rings so I got his last one from there. Court weddings can be definitely be beautiful, it's all about you guys then 😊

    • 1mo

      Thank you so much!!! I'm definitely going to check it out! My mom and I our planning buying a simple silk white dress and we will be adding our own jewels.

  • Personally, if I was doing it all over again, I would go to courthouse, and save the money for something like a trip or a special event with my S/O. Weddings are all about the show in my opinion.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 1mo

      That's how I feel, and I think using that money and going to a trip together sounds so much better. I mean he even planned on having the best honeymoon since we will have money to do so. We both like traveling so we will definitely be doing that.

  • I think that when I choose to marry then I will want to celebrate and share my happiness and commitment with family and friends. Like you are I think I will take a view at the time of the cost and priority. Competing to have the biggest or most expensive wedding celebration is of no interest. It has become an industry. Something small and simple will do.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Even though we will have ours in a county court is because it's small and simple. I will invite my family and he will invites his I only have 2 close friends and another friend and his family because they treat me like I'm part of their family. He has a few close friends that he will invite. After that we will have dinner and celebrate because we will be celebrating with people we love and care so dearly for in our hearts. I just never understood why women wants such a huge and expensive weddings and some will get upset if they know someone had one and they didn't.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      Another advantage of your small simple celebration is that it will be so easy to arrange. It could be almost whenever the mood takes you as no need for big venues and all the fuss. I am definitely going to follow your example when I get to marriage time. We were on vacation earlier this year in a beautiful hotel. Chatting with 2 couples in the pool they were friendly and cool then the next day they had a small wedding with no fuss. They did not even say anything before. That was their way of keeping it simple and romantic.

    • 1mo

      Yes that is true, oh wow thank you!!!
      Now that is beautiful and really simple and romantic.
      Big weddings are nice because when I was little I had a dream wedding haha but when I got older small simple weddings seems more romantic and meaningful. To some people like this one guy commented on here he said, " Poor people can go for Court Marriage " to me that proves what they say in the vows, " for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer " .

  • Nah. Me and my fiance are gonna do just a small ceremony on open land. Not gonna spend money on one day.
    We'd much rather do better stuff with the money.

    0|0
    0|0
  • ceremonies make me a nervous wreck, the attention a bride gets is disturbing to me. i'd rather sign papers, go out on a vacation and then we're married.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Some can also cause drama. I rather have my family and his and a few close friends as what they call it " witnesses " or something like that watch us get married at the court and then we will celebrate by going to a nice dinner and afterwards off to our honeymoon. A simple little thing like that is so much better.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      @lostgirl_searching its nice to talk to you!

    • 1mo

      It's nice to talk to you to! 😊

  • It's not necessary but I feel like they can be a lot of fun. It's your choice what you wanna do though. If you choose not to have one then that's your choice. :)

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Thank you and yes I understand haha when I was younger I had a dream wedding lol but I guess now that I'm older I believe it's not necessary. Knowing that I'm marrying someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life is the most important to me.

  • I honestly hate weddings because i get Claustrophobic. Not a fan of parties. Wedding dresses. My god its difficult to use the restroom with that gown. In my opinion just do whatever that makes you guys feel at ease. Dont pressure urself to have a fancy wedding. Be u and make ur own wedding. ;)

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      I think Wedding dresses are cute but it'seems not for me and I agree. The last time I went to a wedding it was drama and before all of that my friend cousin ( the one that was getting married) she was crying because no one didn't like her dream wedding dress, like seriously why care? If you love the dress buy it who cares what others think.
      Thank you so much!!

  • Yes, it matters to me, I want to marry the one I love.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I do. Its a special day and I want to celebrate it

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Yes I understand I wanted to as well but then when I got older I just thought it would be better to use the money to travel and own a nice affordable home. Even my boyfriend decided that I will have the best honeymoon ever now that he will spend a lot on.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      So its great then you can spend the money just for the two of you to have a great time together

    • 1mo

      Right exactly and thank you! 😊

  • Yeah I like weddings and one day want one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • its important to sleep around

    0|0
    0|1
  • Completely agree hun. I'm sorry but most days now it's about the money they spend to show off and it's not practical.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Thank you and right exactly I heard this topic about weddings on the radio and it seemed like the women that called. They just wanted to show off. This one lady was saying how her fiancé better buy her an expensive because if not I'm not marrying him. It was really sad hearing those stories.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      Right exactly!!! I mean weddings are nice but I can't see myself spending a lot of money on something that I can use to buy a nice affordable home.

    • 1mo

      :) glad you agree

Loading...