Is it OK for an ex to be invited to your wedding? How would you feel?

How would you feel if your partner dated someone 12 years ago and had remained friends with them ever since and wanted to invite them to your wedding? Knowing that you have no friendship with this ex of his for little actions and remarks they would make to get under your skin purposely.. this ex is not single she has a significant other and they are very much in love. would you agree to it or rather not have a wedding because this is such an issue to you.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • When I was fresh out of high school, an ex-girlfriend that I was still friends with became engaged. When she married, I was invited and went to the wedding. We were still friends for a long time after that, but did not see each other or communicate that much. (I went off in he Navy.). There was nothing improper between us and I had no effect on her marriage. If that is the relationship in his case' the I see nothing wrong with it.

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What Guys Said 14

  • No, because this is how those back-room quick fucks happen to destroy a marriage before it even started. No ex's. We have enough other friends.

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  • I probably wouldn't want to invite an ex in the first place but assuming he does want to invite her I think you should just tell him you'd be a lot more comfortable if she wasn't there.

    I'm assuming as your fiancée he should understand.

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  • if they remained friends. had a good truly platonic friendship then i would probably be ok with it

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    • 12d

      Yes been platonic friends for 12 years

    • 12d

      if i felt comfortable with their friendship then yeah i'd be fine with it. at some point the ex becomes more friend than ex

  • If this ex is making comments to/around your SO, and your SO isn't doing anything about it... he's a pile of garbage.

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    • 13d

      She would purposely laugh harder at his jokes and slap him on the shoulder sort of flirting. She would invite him to his birthday dinner and not invite me. Petty little things to try to get under my skin. We have been together for 2.5 years. He stopped inviting her around after about a year of us being together. She now lives out of state with her boyfriend but I know if we have a wedding he will want to invite her and her boyfriend. I don't know if I can handle it.. I would honestly rather not have a wedding than have her there 😏

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    • 13d

      So what do I do... I despise her that much.

    • 13d

      In my opinion. Get over it.

      Or have a small enough wedding that he wouldn't be able to invite her.

      Or, lastly, actually have a conversation with your boyfriend about the matter. I know... talking is scary. If you guys can't work through something that simple your marriage is doomed before it's started anyhow.

  • I wouldn't like it

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  • No. Its weird and i wouldn't ok to hang with anyone that made my girl orgasm. I wouldn't like this guy anywhere close. Im competitive and territorial.

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  • no its not okay

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  • I would call the wedding off if the ex was invited. I broke an engagement
    and called off a wedding for that very reason.

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  • Depends if the person meant anything to me id go. If the Bride didn't want you there there'd be no invite.

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  • I think that would be weird. Unless the ex is the persons's friend

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    • 12d

      They have been nothing but friends for 12 years since the day they broke up

  • Well, 12 years ago... and it have it's own SO... i guess i would be ok with that.

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  • Nope.

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  • if dey still feel for him --goodbye-- u don't--need marriage to this wonderful guy---

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  • I would end the relationship as soon as I found out that she was even friends with an ex. no exceptions.

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What Girls Said 9

  • I would have a long conversation with my partner about the things they have said to me & if they still wanted them present, let them. Just make sure that you establish boundaries & what you expect that ex's behavior to be. if it's anything less on the special day? You have full right to ask them to leave. That's just my opinion.

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  • i say it depends; a friend is a friend.
    however, i'm gonna go with no.

    why? because she's probably not a true "friend" and is out to ruin the day for you. either she'll get drunk and say all kinds of awful things about you, or she'll put the moves on your man in front of everyone.

    have you talked to your future husband about this? if not, i'd definitely bring it up... and set the tone for the rest of your marriage: open and honest.

    (**important** don't tell him that he can't talk to her or be friends with her; you're just telling him what to be secretive about. keep the focus on your feelings.)

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    • 12d

      It's not so much comments but she would do petty things like laugh a lot hard at his jokes , slap him on the shoulder. On his birthday she tried to take him up to the bar and buy him a shot and he said no and stayed with me dancing.

  • I don't think the matter should be about it being his ex.
    If you can accept their friendship, then you should accept all things that may bring.
    I think the bigger thing is, do you want someone at your wedding who you don't want there.

    It shouldn't matter if its his ex, another friend, distant cousin etc. If you say "I don't want them there" you have that right. It's both of your days, and if he truly wants her there, then you may have to compromise but if you have to ask this question, I feel like you don't want her there, and you should be able to say that.

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  • If she says things that make you uncomfortable and he can't see that then you need to have a proper discussion with him, and make him understand that. He can then either address it with her or see her less depending on his friendship.
    As for a wedding if it means a lot for him then I would make a concentrated effort to get to know her better, to feel more comfortable about her presence. It's his wedding too and 12 years is a long time to have been split up especially if he is around your age so I would make an effort to be ok with it for him

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  • No that person is old news and dont deserve to see you walk down the aisle if they couldnt.. plus the future husband would feel some kind of way..

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  • my ex remained friends with his ex while we were dating I hated it but I learnt to accept that she was someone he knew long before he met me

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  • 12 years is a long time. If they wanted them there i wouldn't have a problem. Just stick them at table in the back :p

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  • That's a big NO. Yeah I would cancel the wedding over it. Its your wedding, demand respect. To me that's disrespectful, don't care if they are friends or not. If he is not willing to put you first and your wedding wishes , then he's not worth your time.

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  • I wouldn't even be marrying a man like that. Not only does he keep an ex around, but she makes the comments, and he just sits there like a pussy instead of telling his people not to speak disrespectfuly to his girl. Fuck. That.
    And then to top it off, says hey babe, let's also invite her to the wedding! And seriously thinks she'll just agree to it (as she has done these past years) and say yea great idea honey, let's bring your ex to make snide comments on our wedding day. No.

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