Woman flirting at gym?

About 4 - 5 days a week, I workout for 60-90 minutes. There is a woman (married and stays at home with 3 children) who is always there at the same time. Several weeks ago she started smiling at me. Then on occasion she would come up and briefly engage in small chat with me. I am married as well and I try to resist the temptation to look because to tell you the truth it is very difficult to stare away. When I look at her she looks away and when she looks at me I look away. When we engage in conversation, she talks about her husband and I talk about my wife and children. Very confusing read to me.

Attraction there or just imagining things?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds as though she finds you attractive. Personally if I found someone attractive and started talking to them I would bring up my fiance as a way to keep my boundaries up. It may be her way of letting you know she doesn't want any kind of fling. But her looking at you may be an indication that she finds you physically appealing. There's nothing wrong with looking and talking platonically. Anything beyond that is not good in my opinion.

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    • I have difficulty stretching out next to her let alone exercising near a machine, bench, or cardio piece of equipment. It is so difficult to stare away but I am trying my hardest to do so. I think I need help! Simple flirt -> crush -> infatuation -> road to no turning back (not a a final destination I seek). This is the only time I am available to workout. She keeps the same hours. Can one seek a platonic relationship while married?

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    • Hi Shlei. Your reply was cut off. Please finish sentence regarding if I ever find myself weak and giving into physical desires. Thx!

    • Hi There! Do you mind finishing your comment " And if you ever find yourself weak and giving in to the physical desires you. . ." It was cut off.Thx!

What Girls Said 2

  • There is definitely an attraction there. Be careful!

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    • I workout listening to my iphone wrapped around my arm. At the end of my workout while I was stretching, she asked if I liked it. I went ahead and told her I really enjoy the phone especially for showing pics of my children. Which I proceeded to show her. She still seemed interested in chatting. I offered to let her try it out for one session. Over my boundaries?

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    • Yep, I am in IL. What would I do? That is a tough one because you both have the same problem. Either you choose each other and the game you are playing, or you choose your spouses. If you choose each other, then you'll eventually lose your marriages. You can't be friends because there is too much heat between you. Either you're 0 or 100 and there's no in between. Wife or her? Find somewhere else to go work out or not but your feelings will grow in you stay in contact with her.

    • I guess there is no gray area. 25 of 100? I guess not only could we lose our marriages (spouses), we could also lose our children just because someone is paying attention to us and stroking or egos, filling our deficiencies. Is there such a thing as a one-time/short-term guilt free relationship/fling?

  • ok here is the deal she is probably getting bored with her life and wants to spice things up put her in her place if this is true and if she asks you how you and ur wife are tell her you are planning a romantic getaway from work and kids

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What Guys Said 3

  • C'mon man, you know where this sh*t is going to go. Honestly I am sure you will not ever leave your wife and kids for this woman and she wouldn't leave her husband and kids for you.

    If that ever happened that would mean you both suck...lol...Think about it...Nothing can and ever will happen.

    Fact is, you both are really crushing on each other. The only real result is one of you is going to switch gyms at some point...Mark my words. It is going to get to hot and heavy for one of you, one of these days you are both going to kiss and don't tell me that's not possible, I absolutely guarantee some exchange is going to happen that is going to send you both into a world of emotional pain.

    I am sure both of you are really good people and really love your spouses, why does it feel soooo good for you both to flirt with each other knowing how downright dangerous it is.

    You have to know you are plying with fire and you already know the feelings are hard to stop and how good it feels. Soon though and I promise...Those good feelings are going to turn into despair and sadness...It is the logical conclusion if you two let it keep going. I hope you really think about this.

    Might be time for you to switch gym's after you realize how crappy this can get..DO NOT SEEK TO BE PLATONIC FREINDS WITH THIS PERSON...it isn't possible..The attraction is way to high and don't tell me I am wrong, you got to be honest...You are "Head over heels" bro.

    You have to know how messed up this is going to get. My opinion...Change gym's and avoid the inevitable heartbreak and possible divorce. You might think I am being to dramatic but really, crushes are dramatic by default if you catch my drift...You are already in a drama and nothing has happened yet.

    Something to consider! You really need to nip this in the bud before it blossoms into something you cannot control. Right now you have the ability to control this situation and get yourself out of this bad spot.

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  • I go to the gym myself. And most people there know that I'm engaged. I also have a picture of her and I on my iPod.

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  • to be real bro. I think you should just tap that shit. then never ever go to that gym again. lol

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