I'm in a dead marriage that can't end for business reasons. I have a mistress whom I love dearly, and have been seeing for just over seven years, with my wife's tacit consent. I support her financially to the same degree that I do my wife. I pay for her apartment, her car, her groceries, her medical bills, and provide a credit card with a reasonable monthly limit. I have life insurance policies with her as beneficiary. I spend most of my non-work time with her, day and night. However she is insisting it's not enough. She wants to be married. She understands the reasons my marriage can't end, but she says she doesn't care. She would rather be destitute and married to me than financially secure and comfortably kept, and says I must marry her or she'll leave me. I love her dearly, but my life would literally become a financial disaster over night if my marriage ended. How can I convince her not to destroy a good thing?
Most Helpful Girl
You can't. I can't say I would be any different than her in this situation. She's spent 7 years waiting to be in an honest relationship with her. In fact, it's proof of her love for you. She doesn't care about all the money you're spending, she wants the commitment, to know that you're hers and only hers. No woman in love wants to be the "mistress," she wants to be the wife. A wife has the throne, a mistress hides in the shadows of dishonesty. It's obviously very important to her, and nothing you say will convince otherwise. She wants the respect. So if you're absolutely sure you're never going to leave your wife, you need to let this woman go.
Like WaitingAtTheDoor said, respect can't be bought.1