I'm pretty sure my fiance can't stand me?

My fiance asked me to marry him two years ago on Christmas. I was completely shocked as he knew I wasn't into the whole idea of marriage. Our life was beautiful and promising, and he opened my eyes to the idea of actually getting married...so I said 'yes'. Since then, any conversation actually involving marriage turns into an argument. He says "why rush?" or "I'm just not ready", but he's the one that proposed! The real problems all started about 1.5 years ago...I developed pre-cervical cancer and he decided he needed time apart. During this 6 month hiatus, he was apparently "hanging out" with another girl. He said nothing happened, but he DID have her over to OUR home on multiple occasions. He denied it for months, but finally confessed. He said, "I knew it would hurt you if you found out. I didn't want you to be upset." Since then, he is constantly down my throat about everything I don't do "right"; first it was taking out the trash, then it became making too MUCH trash. Now it's letting my necklace on the coffee table and not dusting enough. I only work part time, but I'm also a full time college student and I take care of all the responsibilities of our 3 year old daughter. And I don't complain. Today, he made the meanest of all remarks... "You only waited to go to the grocery store until today because you wanted me to pay for the food." !. I haven't been able to drive for 6 weeks because of surgery and I was simply floored by this random comment! After over 4 years, it's still about who pays for what?! He's constantly belittling me about not making enough money (partly why I'm in college again) and never has a single nice word of encouragement. I do everything I possibly can to make him happy, because I love him, but I just don't understand. He's always looking for something to tell me I didn't do good enough. I feel like I'm disappearing... Help?!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm going to be blunt. This guy sounds like a horrible person. The sooner you get him completely out of your life the better. Don't be surprised if he begs you to come back either. He only wants someone to abuse.

    None of this is your fault, and your power is only that you can get the hell away from him. No matter what you do, it will never be good enough. Thank god that you didn't actually end up marrying this sad excuse of a man.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like your setting yourself up to go down the road of being miserable the rest of your life. Even if you love him, why make yourself go through that kind of treatment. If he doesn't appreciate you then you need to move on. I've known too many people that got married and they live their lives so depressed and miserable. Don't do that to yourself. Best of luck :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • Why are you putting up with this guy? He just sh*ts all over you and you take it? I don;'t care what you say but that's not love.This guy's scum. Get out while you can.

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  • It sounds like you're going to suffer the rest of your life until you leave this man. It seems like he gets a satisfaction from belittling you. My advice would be finish college and take your little girl and move out.

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