This is not the least bit pleasant for me to type but I need help. I'm married and have been for 15 years. We have 2 kids together. The first several years of our marriage,was extremely unhappy.He use to be verbally abusive to me and all around jerk. He was never there for me and my kids and it got to the point ,where one day I just gave up on him.
I started searching for someone else to be with and I met someone online. He is also married and he has 3 kids. He's very unhappy as well and says that his wife is controlling ,insensitive,bad mother etc. When he and I met ,we fell hard for each other ,eventually we fell in love and I thought that my world was complete ,the only problem is ,we are both married. Well one day things started falling apart. His wife found out about me (although not details) and before I knew it ,he was gone. Never even a goodbye. Not even an email or a voice mail. Just gone .
About a year later ,he shows back up in my life(by sending me an email) and at first ,I resisted and told him that I didn't want to get hurt again and that my Husband and I were trying to work things out (which we really were trying to work on our marriage) but temptation got the best of me and I fell right back in his arms again and had been there for 2 years. Then the past 7 months or so ,he starts actiing like he's pulling away from me again ,he says he can't see me as often or call as often (which was hardly at all in the first place) .This past April ,he just seemingly drops off the face of the earth(again) . He didn't call me ,email me ,try to see me ,nothing. I was devastated and have been hurting so badly. I've been picking up the pieces of my broken heart for so long ,I honestly don't know what it feels like to not feel sad.
Out of the blue ,once again (2 days ago), He sends me an email telling me how sorry he is for not getting in touch sooner and that he stills love me ,that he thinks about me everyday. I actually hoped that I would not hear from him again (because it's too painful) and now that I have ,I feel like any amount of healing I've done over the last couple of months,is gone. I have turmoil all over again. I have not responded to him but it hurts so badly. I do love this man and I'm so confused. He stated that he told me even for a while ,he was seeing a divorce lawyer but he's still with her. I don't understand and right now ,I feel so broken hearted. Why does he keep coming in and out of my life like this? Just when I start to heal ,there he is again. I feel so bad because over the past few days ,i've not been very nice to my Husband and I know he's really trying to change but my heart is always somewhere else. Help. I don't think I can ever get over this man. I love him so much and it kills me inside to even think about living with out him and on the other hand ,I feel like if I get back into a relationship with him,i'll be miserable .
Most Helpful Girl
You need to be the one to pull the plug in this roller coaster of a relationship.you have to have the strength to not answer any emails if necessary change phone numbers all info that gives him access to you.It seems to me that your husband is really trying to be with you and that he has been around for many years.Even though your in love with this man, he want his cake and eat it too.if he was really divorcing his wife he would of seperated from her .completely moved out.the whole nine. I think he is just giving you the run around and buttering you up enough to keep you by his side.I may be young but I just wanted to give you a young person's point of view.men are all the same no matter how old.
It will hurt like hell to let him go but you have to be strong and take it day by day if your really serious about patching up the relationship with your husband and leaving this man alone.You should not put yourself through this misery by allowing this man to play tug'o war with your heart.3