After many years...19...of common-law co-habitation. One proposal made to shut me up 10 years ago. Helping to raise his kids, etc. . This summer he proceeded to go camping alone without me. After a few days I went to the campsite to see a girlfriend of mine there. He was waiting for me and wanted back together which was OK with me. 2 weeks of fun and sex etc...we had a great time. We get back home and he tells me it's over Hubby decided that we were over. He said he hasn't loved me in many years. He then proceeded to tell me I was after him for security only and told me it would be easier if I were dead. Then I plan my departure...looked for apartment in another city where I'm from with family there. Then he decides he still loves me and wants to try again. So I tell him I won't live with one foot in the door and one out the door as I have all this time so he must prove his love this time. It's been weeks and he is still not proving he really loves me and says his head is not in the sex zone either...what do you think? He's being nice and tell me he loves me but nothing much more than that. Guys please tell me what the heck is going on...He is not seeing anyone or having an affair; I know this for a fact...he's working overtime a lot and I see the pay checks in our bank account and the rest of the time he's at home...Help me please.
Most Helpful Guy
Seems like it's actually him that needs you there for emotional security, which he didn't realize until you actually were about to leave. That doesn't exclude the reasons why he wanted to break up in the first place. All this nice and I love you is because he'd rather keep you, albeit under false pretences than break up and have to manage alone. Lack of sex is likely an indicator of internal conflict on his part, it's hard to fake true love. behavior betrays thoughts. In time he'll probably reconcile his internal differences and be able to fake it enough that you accept it and he semi believes it. It takes time to rearrange ones beliefs to fit the circumstances. But There's nothing to suggest anything will get magically better than the past you've endured and haven't loved for years can't be taken back. I don't think staying offers much hope for what you truly desire.