To young? What should I say to him?

My boyfriend thinks I'm to young for him.. He is 20 and I'm 16...

he said he didn't care until people started talking to him about it.. he told me that his head is telling him to break up with me but his heart is telling him to stay.. what do I say to let him know I understand him.. and what do I say to him that makes him understand that I'm not the average 16 year old and I'm a lot more mature since I've been through a lot of sh*t.. I just want him...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Seems like he is the one that is immature...age doesn't have anything to do with it. As long as you're mature and it seems that you are.

    Ask him why is he worrying about what people are saying if he cares about you?

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What Guys Said 1

  • 20 and 16 ain't to young I went out with a 20 year old girl when was 16

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What Girls Said 3

  • Depending on what state you live in, your boyfriend could get into major trouble if he were to engage in any sort of sexual activity with you. Have you checked the age of consent laws in your state? If you need to be older than sixteen then chances are that this is a major factor that is keeping him from getting into a relationship with you.

    Aside from that, while 16 and 20 isn't a huge age difference there are certain things that could end up ultimately hindering your relationship. I'm not disputing your maturity level because I believe that age is not always an indicator of maturity. There is a lot more to maturity than a couple of digits. But, like I said there are other things that could cause problems. Since he's legally an adult, he's free to do what he wants. He doesn't need to ask permission for anything. If you still live at home, then chances are that your parents or guardians dictate what you can and can't do a lot of the time. For someone older that can be a drag.

    He's also a year or less away from being 21. He'll be able to go out to bars and clubs with his friends and you won't be able to go. This can cause a lot of problems in the form of trust issues. I've seen this happen tons of times with girls that have older boyfriends. There are tons of scantily clad women prancing around in clubs that are simply looking to hook up. Add alcohol to that equation and people don't always make the smartest decisions. This can't make you doubt his fidelity and trustworthiness. It may make you feel jealous and insecure and take it out on him--which will cause further strains on your relationship.

    His friends giving him a hard time is also an issue. Your relationship with him can cause a rift with his friends. I don't condone this either way. If you like someone, you like them and it's no one else's business. But, some guys simply won't keep dating a female without their friends approval. The amount of ridicule they'll have to endure will eventually be too much for them. It's crappy, but that's just the way some guys are.

    So, if you can, just put yourself in his shoes for a minute and think about how he's feeling before you make any snap judgments. Then sit down and talk to him about the reasons why he feels that you're too young. You may not like what he has to say, but that's the crappy thing about being mature. Sometimes we have to accept that no matter how much we want something, it doesn't always mean that we can have it. You have to be smart enough to recognize when something isn't right no matter how good it feels.

    Hope this helps.

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  • The age difference in numbers isn't a big deal... there's quite a big age gap between me and my boyfriend. A lot more than 4 years! I think the 'its what other people are saying' line is a bit of an excuse. Maybe he's just not feeling it's right for him. Also I know it's hard to accept but the age difference could be subconsciously masking the fact that maybe you just don't connect as people, the age is irrelevant. However hope you've sorted it out now and good luck!

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  • you're 16 and his 20 is nothing it's only 4 years difference. my parents are like 16 years age apart...so yer

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