Why can't feminists deal with the fact that society values marriage and kids?

I came across this in a interview of a feminist blog I sometime stop in on.

"I am a magazine addict, and if I pick up one more magazine that reads “So-and-so is pregnant,” or “So-and-so was the happiest she’s ever been during the nine months of her pregnancy,” I am going to scream! So, in some ways, young women may be more connected to these gender scripts than we were, because marriage and motherhood is at the center of popular discourse.

I also think that Christianity and all of its messages and norms of marriage and motherhood keeps people trapped. Its messages are hard to ignore, so I think that black women really need more models. They don’t see women who say, “I chose not to have children and opted out of marriage, and this is why and it was the best decision I ever made in my life.” I wish that Oprah would address that, but she doesn’t."

Well, maybe I'm being judgmental..but seriously I think its stupid that she thinks children and moms shouldn't get attention. Society VALUES these things! It's just human nature..and no one is ragging on them for their life choices...I think personally they feel like they are inadequate and lash out at others. what do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with you, anonymous. Motherhood and marriage are two very honorable roles a woman can fill. People neglect to consider how important it is to raise strong and healthy children in a healthy environment (which includes a healthy marriage). Women have the chance to shape a whole generation of citizens... that is a HUGE cause.

    Feminism really is a touchy subject. I'm a pretty reasonable person, but I'll abandon diplomacy for a moment and be frank. Personally, I think feminism kind of screwed us over. I think that in two-parent working families, many times there is a breakdown of the family unit. Consider latch-key kids who take care of themselves for hours without supervision.. seeing their parents for only a few hours of each day. Second, if more women chose to be a stay at home mother, there would be more jobs with higher pay for fathers. And if stay at home mothers helped build stronger families, perhaps people would find more satisfaction in community and relationship, and stop putting themselves into debt over the pleasures of materialism. I don't know.. haven't thought through these ideas extensively, but perhaps they're worth considering.

    I'm not quite sure where you're going with Christianity in this idea, but I grew up in the Christian church, and I would say that it has only marginally affected my own personal choice to be a stay at home mother when the time comes. In fact, I grew up with career ambitions, and it has only been after several years of trying to "make it" in the professional world that I've realized that it doesn't work with who I am.

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    • Ia gree with ua bout the rade-off by women being equal in the working world..but hey...I think stay a tohme dadds would be good too...ideally I think a parent (of either sex)should stay home if possbile. Sadly it isn't usually feasable anymore. Also, I didn't write that bit about Christianity..just syaing because you said "you're" going...I was just quoting her lol

    • also, divroce is a big deal...and almsot always when you split up both aprents have to work and their kids get husffled around...and I know this is controversial..but I think the rise of feminism has helped reate cocndtions that made the divorce rate skyrocket. In 70% of divorces...the wife initiated the divroce...obviously some women may be in abusive marriages...but 70%? I think that's too much of a disparity to explain away with abuse claims.

What Girls Said 3

  • You missed the point completely.

    The commenter was merely venting her frustration that in the media, there are usually only 2 depictions of women - as married mothers and as sex sirens.

    Sometime when I open a magazine I would like to see more stories about black women, Hispanic women, lesbians, transgender women, career women, women in de facto relationships, women in third world countries, women who make breakthroughs in science and the list goes on ad infinitum. This is not an assault on family or Christian values- just a unsated desire for some diversity in magazine content.

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  • And I think it's stupid she thinks Christianity traps people. I feel very free & I'm very independent. I value marriage & children too, though I don't think that is for everyone. Personally, I want to get married one day, but I don't "need" to. Just because someone wants companship & believes in something doesn't mean they are trapped or stupid.

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  • Ahhh... I get you now... I had thought you were only quoting the first blurb from that article. Thanks for the clarification. I'm glad you agree... and good points concerning divorce. :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • I have not had kids but I can only imagine that it's the strongest emotion you can feel in your life, if anyone should know that without reproduction we would not be here it's atheists (I'm assuming) who know about evolution and the reward system in place, so I don't really understand it either, maybe these women are not able to have kids and are just trying to make themselves feel better?

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  • before saying this I want to make it absolutely clear that I respect women just as much as men in every way, but I must the feminists drive me f***ing insane. they all preach about how keeping men out of their life if the best thing they have ever done and everyone should follow. they also say that marriage is a chain keeping women from reaching true potential and happiness. one things shut the f*** up and let other women live how they want, two if all women followed that example the human population would kind of end... third your life might be great now, or so you think, but what happens when your old and you don't have someone else to live out your life with out of love? all these stories give me heavy vibes that these women are very lonely on the inside and frankly I feel bad for them

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  • Yes, society values marriage and kids but:

    Why are you so mad about feminists?

    You aren't going to change them, so just stop wasting your time.

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    • true that, feminists are some of the most retarded people on the planet

  • It's the trouble with labels. They were there before you, thus you must conform to them to become a part of it. I don't know why people do this to themselves. Everyday in life we have to conform to something or someone else -- at work, in traffic, in grocery lines, etc. There are rules and regulations wherever you go. Some people just need to be a part of something, others want the liberties to just flow like the wind. This is why I'm neither religious nor an atheist. I neither believe nor disbelieve in God. It's just something I wasn't able to prove to myself in my life long search for God. I never found him. And so the only title I would ever like to give myself is "free thinker", that way I don't adhere to ready made doctrines that hinder my liberties to explore and learn for myself what is and isn't good for me.

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