There was this guy I just met and on the first encounter he spoke about marriage.

I was out watching a live band at this local bar, I had pretty much given up on dating and was just happy being by myself and felt like I didn't need a guy complete me. I seen him look over at me when he came in but I just didn't care and some other guy was trying to hit on me and I was just ignoring him and listening to the band. Finally after awhile his friend approached me and bought me a drink and told me it was from his friend. I said to tell him thank you and kept listening to the band and a little while later he came up to me and we just started talking and he told me twice about when he finds a wife this and that and how good he is going to be to her, he said he went through the whole one night stands and he was looking for something more now and I was shocked because I wasn't expecting him to say anything like that. I kept thinking is this guy for real? Mostly because I have gotten a lot of jerks trying to talk to me before and everything he kept saying was so sweet, he didn't try to make any moves on me, we haven't even kissed and I hung out with him twice so far, he even told me that he likes it that I go slow. He asked me out on another date this Friday and I'm starting to like him, I am not used to a guy just being so sweet, I tend to choose the wrong guys and keep giving chances until all there chances has ran out. I even told my best friend Marcus about him and he told me if something seems too good to be true it probably is and that what worries me I just turned 30 and not once have I ever been in a relationship with a guy that was good to me and didn't take advantage of my kind nature and didn't talk down to me or be abusive towards me. Even all my friends say I am a bum magnet. I guess my question is does this guy sound like he can possibly might be a good guy, because I was starting to believe my bum magnet nick name. What I can tell you about him is he is in the Military, he grew up on a farm and his parents are still together, he spoke about that he had did some missionary work before, and this last thing doesn't mean anything but it just makes me smile he claims small dogs aren't dogs but cats..lol Now that I have wrote all this I realize I should just go with the flow and see how things work out, but if you have any input just let me know, being 30 and not once being with a good guy makes you feel like your doing something wrong, I was believing my bum magnet nickname and pretty much set on being by myself and doing my own thing and not caring to meet anyone until he came along, so it's kinda scary I'll admit. Sigh


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What Guys Said 2

  • I agree with Dan, give him a chance. I too have been burned by shady lovers, and I found myself mistrusting my new partners because of this. I talked to some friends, who enlightened me that this was totally unfair to my new girl, since she is not the same person who did me wrong! Healthy relationships are based on trust, communication, and respect, and I was not trusting her right off the bat, no good. Also, a comment you made I want to address. You said, "I had pretty much given up on dating and was just happy being by myself and felt like I didn't need a guy complete me." This is ABSOLUTELY wonderful! In fact, you should ALWAYS be happy being yourself no matter what happens in your life, period(relationships are just a part of it). Also, you don't need a guy or anyone for that matter to make you a complete person. Saying that you do implies that you feel like you need another person to be happy or feel fulfilled with your life, this couldn't be further from the truth. I'm sure you've heard, love yourself before others can love you, well this is what I'm talking about! When you love yourself, other people are naturally attracted to you because you are confident and secure with who you are, and you don't NEED anyone to make you feel complete or happy but yourself. Of course, everyone wants love and companionship, but you shoud still be a happy person without it. When you love yourself, a lover/boyfriend/husband makes a fine addition to your already complete life, and is no longer what makes you complete, that's up to you! Hope this all made some sense, and good luck with your new guy!

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    • Thank you ebrady5, I tend to be one of those girls who worries and over thinks a lot..lol It is true like you said " how can you expect anyone to love you if you don't love yourself?" I was happy being just me, I guess I don't have nothing to loose by getting to know him more, he has been making me smile more than usual. :)

  • Well id give him a chance. So far it seems like he is legit, id keep dating him and see how things go. If you've been out with nothing but bums, I'm sure you'd be able to find some similarities between them and him if he was one. Seemed like he was pretty shy at the bar when his friend bought you a drink for him - I think reserved + shy guys are more often than not good guys

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    • Awe, that really makes me smile, I just have been so cynical lately, because my history and past relationships. I had told myself "hey your 30 years old, if ya haven't found a good guy yet, that means they don't exist." Thank you Dan, that was an answer I was hoping for.

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