Is it "normal" that my boyfriend and I only spend one day/night a week together?

We've been together for a year and a half. We live about 30 minutes away from each other. We both work full time during the day, and he also goes to school 3 nights a week, plus I have a 16 year old daughter. We both have weekends off of work, but for the past 2 months he's been getting mandatory overtime at work every Sat. morning/afternoon. So that's reduced us to only spending Sat. night together and Sun. morning/afternoon.

He says he loves me, although I know I'm the longest relationship he's ever been in and he's also a very independent person who likes his alone time. To his credit, this past summer we did see each other at least 3 times a week since he was out of school and also not working every Sat. like he is now.

I just wonder how "normal" this is and how long we can go on like this? When I talk to him about it, he just says that "he doesn't plan on doing this forever" but doesn't have any specific answers on when it will progress into something more serious? e.e. living together ro marriage...how can I determine if I'm wasting my time here? Guys? Is he just stringing me along? He seems like he's in love with me...and he does a lot of sweet things for me all the time...plus is always willing to hang with me and my daughter if need be...I'm so confused!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the fact you're not seeing him as much probably has put you in a position where you feel less secure.

    It's normal. I mean, heck, I'm actually in a similar position.

    My boyfriend and I have a LOT on our individual plates (I've been sick, working, he's been working, studying and having to deal with very serious family stuff, which is one reason I love him so much is because he's family oriented in a positive way).

    Before you started the relationship with this guy, did you talk about the big stuff? Or was it all fluff?

    When I mean the big stuff, I mean, like, do you guys have the same values on marriage, kids (lack thereof), money, etc; I wonder if he never really wanted to be married in the first place anyway.

    In the meantime, cherish the time you guys have together on the phone if you can.

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What Guys Said 1

  • i would want to spend as much time as possible with my woman.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Relationships are different couple-to-couple. There is no "normal." Whatever works for you, if you're satisfied. You both have lives and so conflicts are bound to happen in schedules.

    It might be time to have a real commitment talk though. Pin him down. Don't let him waste your time.

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