This is how she returned the ring...

My fiance broke off our engagement almost a month ago. The short of it is that she felt like we were moving too quick and needed space to figure things out. I was as supportive as possible. We agreed that I would move out of our apartment and I would find a place to give the space and time necessary to figure things out. I finally moved into my new place this past Saturday.

A few weeks ago, I asked her what she was going to do with the ring. She said she was planning on putting it in a safe spot until we decided what to do. She said she wasn't planning on selling it. She said that legally it was hers. I said legally it was, but from an ethical perspective, since she broke off the engagement, if it were in fact over for good, she should give it back since I worked hard to get it. She didn't seem happy with that idea at all. She said, I worked hard putting the house together, too. I told her I wasn't asking for it back, I was just talking. She said, "no, it's okay. You can keep it in a safe place until we figure out what to do." She wasn't happy.

I didn't bring it up again.

Now, before I go further, we did have our arguments every now and then, especially those last few weeks of living together after the break up, but for what it's worth, we did end on a good note.

Anyway, this past Sunday, the day after I moved out, we went food shopping together since our area was expecting snow and I didn't have any food in my new place. She brought with her a bag of things I had forgotten when moving our, e.g., TV remote, electric toothbrush charger. I didn't bother looking in the bag while in the car with her as I knew most of the things I had forgotten.

She didn't stick around for long after we got back because she said she was tired. After hugging, thanking her for coming along, and saying goodbye, I opened the said bag. In it was the ring in its box. She didn't mention it being in there or anything. It was just there, with other random items.

I felt like calling her or taking it back to her because, honestly, I don't care about having it. I bought it specially for her. But I decided against it. I haven't contacted her since. It is now Tuesday. Yesterday was the first day I've gone without any communication between us since the day we met.

By her giving it back to me this way, does it mean it's over for good? Is there no chance we'll get back together again? On top of being depressed about the break up, I feel terrible for even making such a big deal about the ring. What should I do?

Thank you.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, I feel absolutely horrible for you. I can only imagine the pain you must be experiencing as you go through this. Best of luck.

    That being said, however... I'm a realist. When a girl says she "needs a break", "needs space", etc., especially after engagement, chances are it's her shy way of saying... this isn't right. You don't often see broken engagements or divorced couples getting back together...

    That being said, she probably but the ring in the bag for a reason. I wouldn't feel terrible about the ring -- it didn't workout, and it's not like she's ever going to wear it (I would think)?

    "Hey, where'd you get that ring?"

    "Oh, um..."

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's seriously a confusing time for a girl. I was "kicked" out by his mom because we were living together and I found a place as a roommate. My head has been going back and forth about being committed or trying to date again. On Sunday, I told him that I was working for two weeks straight, both jobs, and I couldn't deal with him. The next day, all I could think about was him, so I texted and apologized, then we went to Disneyland (our happy place). I'm not wearing the engagement ring because I'm still unsure, I love him a lot, I kind of want him to propose again. BTW the ring is my mother's (that my dad gave her; they've been divorced for awhile) so I would like one that he worked hard for IDK. Again a very confusing time, especially since I don't have a full time job and know if I want to go back to school or not or what I want to be doing.

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  • I am sorry.

    I do thing returning the ring is a symbolic move and it looks like she is closing that chapter.

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What Guys Said 2

  • well she wouldn't of fallin out of love with you that fast, just seems like she has gotten completly over whelmed with everything. give her some space, and I mean at least a couple weeks unless she contacts you, and if she does don't be to lovey dovey with her and just feel her out

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  • Wow, you got yourself a tough situation, usually when a girl says she needs space, it's pretty much done. I know you will still try your best to win back her heart and I applaud you for that. You might need to use some dirty psychological warfare now.. this girl will show you the way.. good luck => link

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