My boyfriend won't propose.

So here's the situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years and living together for a year and a half. We've been talking about marriage for about 6 - 9 months now since we started going to a lot of our friends' weddings, but he hasn't popped the questions.

We've talked in depth about it and he wants to marry me, but feels weird about marriage and views engagement as being married. I've pointed out that engagement is different because we aren' t legally bound to each other.

He wants me to wait 2-3 years to get married, but will not propose in the mean time. I feel that if he wants me to wait that long, he should at least be able to make some sort of commitment.

I know I made a wrong move by moving in together with him because he is one of those guys who get's comfortable with how things are and doesn't see the point in fixing something that isn't broken. It seems unfair that we should live like we're married when we are not though since it seems like I end up taking care of a lot of the laundry and dishes.

SO I guess the questions ultimately comes down to is it worth sticking out the best years of my youth to wait for a maybe marriage? Or should I just call it quits and throw in the towel?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If your relationship is otherwise healthy there is no reason to leave him. Talking about marriage is OK on your part (don't over do it and if he gets annoyed lay off the subject for a few days/weeks/months) but if you talk about him proposing he will resist and push it father off. This won't be to spite you but no guy wants to feel pushed into asking a girl to marry him even if he is very much in love with that girl. I know this won't be the greatest thing to hear but many girls would much rather be in your shoes right now, first, you have a boyfriend, second he is willing to talk about and consider marriage. Again my whole answer is based on the presumption that it is an otherwise healthy relationship.

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      It was a healthy relationship, but the whole marriage thing really became an issue the last month. We talked it out: it's a lot of cultural and personal differences. But the last week he's been overly possessive and jealous about this one guy friend I have. This has happened before, but this time it seems to be even more intense then before. He'll be peering over my shoulder when I write text messages to see who I'm texting and accusing me of deleting messages amongst other things.

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      early on in a relationship with a previous girlfriend while we were having sex 1-3 times a day I never got jealous of any guy she talked to and never worried about her cheating on me. she had more guy friends than any of my other previous gfs. a few years into the relationship when the sex was only 1-2 times a week I got way more worried about who she was talking to, texting and emailing. I don't think this will be the same for all guys but it was true in my case.