I'm married, he has a long time girlfriend.....?

Why would he risk his relationship to go out with a married woman? It's not for the sex because we haven't had any. We have been meeting each other for 10mos now. We kiss and hold hands and laugh and have a good time with eachother. He lives with her, says he doesn't want to marry her, and he knows I'm no longer in love with my husband, I mean it's obvious neither of us are in love anymore with are partners or we would not be sneaking around and meeting eachother, agreed? So my question is, why is he risking his realtionship to see me? I know why I'm risking mine.

Please no lectures, just a thought or opinion about the question would be nice. Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Infatuation. When a man is infatuated with a woman he exagerates all her qualities making her perfect in his mind. The male fantasy of women is different from the reality we encounter after knowing someone for years. Every smile you give and giggle you make every sweet thing you do makes us feel as if your an angel. We feel so ggod just to be around that school girl happiness. And the sweetness you have makes us feel euphoric. The problem is we don't realize your human because of how good we feel around you. Once these infatuation feelings end we start to see the flaws we all have. But if you weren't special he wouldn't be infatuated with you in the first place.


What Guys Said 2

  • He's probably risking his relationship for the same reason you're risking yours -- needs are not being met. If you were having all your needs met by your husband, you wouldn't be having an affair. Guess what? -- same with him. Many times, it's not about the sex.

    That's the short answer.


What Girls Said 3

  • Because he's a gutless idiot that can't take a stand for himself and decide what he really wants and stick to it.

  • Maybe he's risking it for the same reasons you are yours. Maybe he's waiting for you to leave your husband. Have you two talked about what you would do if either your husband or his girlfriend found out?

    • We kinda joke, like he says to me, you would be in a lot more trouble because your married, and I say yeah I would be out on my ass, and then he jokingly says stuff about me having to move in with him. When we first started meeting, he would say stuff like, I'll move her out and you in, but I never acknowleged what he said, because I did not think he was serious.

    • Show All
    • Thanks for all your advice and wisdom, I really appreciate it. Your right I need a game plan of somekind. I need to find out what this guy wants if anything. He mentioned yesterday about wanting to take a day trip possible overnight together. He said to me once when we first started seeing eachother, that we needed to spend 2 weeks together...whatever that means!

    • No problem. I know you probably didn't plan on getting in the situation you're in. Can't say it's right, but you're there and I've been there too, all you can do from here is have an idea of what you're going to do, you know. The two weeks was probably to see how you guys would be with non stop interaction, you know. Which two weeks non stop for any couple is too much...I have a hard to being around my husband for 48hrs straighg...but then we have our problems too. Good Luck to you!

  • Divorce your husband asap. You're a sinner.