Why, when someone gets cheated on during marriage, would they hurt their new spouse?

I am SO interested in knowing if someone can help me understand this. I was seeing this guy for about 10 months. He had told me that he was divorced, had been divorced for about 3 years, because his ex-wife had cheated on him. Obviously that is a very hard thing to go through and it affected him a great deal, but that didn't make him stop from wanting to ever get re-married and start the family he wanted. He went through hell and I cannot imagine all the pain that something like that can inflict on your soul. To make a long story short, it didn't work out between us and we decided to remain friends. He had already met someone else and within the course of 4 months after having decided she was the one he wanted, he married her. He had known her prior so its not like she's someone he didn't know at all. What he doesn't know is that I KNOW about his marriage to her and he lied to me and told me that she was just his girlfriend and that she decided to move in with him. I asked him if she knew that we were friends and he said "no". I thought we were friends, and friends don't keep major information like marriage hidden from one another. It wouldn't have mattered to me if he was married or not, I know how to respect people and their relationships and causing unnecessary drama is not worth it, the friendship to me was all that mattered. Why would he lie like that to her and to me ESPECIALLY after he went through a divorce himself and knows how hard it is to be lied to? What was the purpose of keeping me as a friend if he's not going to share things about his life with me?


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What Guys Said 1

  • sometimes the after effects of a relationship makes a person change into the person they are being accused of being...

    or taking the form of the person that hurt him. for instance a liar...

    all attributes of a man can be depicted by his past. and how he relates to everyone in his present.


What Girls Said 1

  • ur question is contradicting because you say you don't care but you do... if it doesn't matter then y are you so hung up on it if you didn't really care then you wouldn't care that he lied to you about because after all you are "just friends" he is not obligated to tell you anything even if it is that serious