I think nowadays most marriages are based on sex, money, or any other wrong reason. So when good sex stops, or money goes away it all falls appart.
1) Because too many people jump in to it without really getting to know someone first.
2)Since people are living much longer than they used to, marriages are harder to keep good over a longer period of time. Not saying it can't happen and for those who can great.
3)People don't put enough emphasis on finding someone with a similar sex drive. (This is by far not the most important thing but when one person wants sex once or twice a month and the other wants it once or twice a week or more, then some serious problems that will arise.
4)Men and women don't seem to respect each other these days and don't seem to want to meet in the middle.
I think number one is the main cause, then number four.
people are too independent
I agree, that pple are getting married so early.
im in high school, and a know a few girls you are engaged to be married and only 17 * 18 years old. saying ohh I love him,
seems like tech. has put us into a hole with facebook-trust issue, p*rn-some pple fight over it "cheating", emails, seems like pple think they can get away with a lot of things throught the comp.
more pple base it on looks, status. money
pple force themselves to thining they love someone when it is actually lust.
Good question. I think it has to do with society and the whole equal rights thing. Women nowadays are not looked down up on if they get a divorce, and so they do it more. Unlike back in the day, when divorce was frowned upon.
its sad isn't it... it feels like some people have completely twisted the meaning of marriage. instead of putting all their effort into it, they just quit whenever things go wrong and look for an alternative. its as if the word 'commitment' doesn't exist in their dictionary anymore. .
The clinical answer is that people aren't forced to be together anymore. Fifty years ago, being a divorcée mother with kids made you a social pariah, in addition to not being able to get a job good enough to support yourself *and* kids. Divorcing someone as a man similarly brought shame on you, and you'd either have to take care of your kids(which you couldn't do alone and with a full-time job) or let them go with their mother. Either way getting divorced was - to put it mildly - not worth the trouble.
Today, we're not forced to stay in marriages we're unhappy with.
The second part of it is mostly that people are stupid, and naive at that. Also that the reality of marriage has changed tremendously in modern times, in every aspect, but the representation of marriage in western popular culture, on the other hand, is hardly up to speed. The fairytale picture of undying true love endures even with adults, both men and women, who are all but blind to what a long-lasting relationship, let alone a marriage, actually requires.
In my experience, there's three things people are unaware of(or mistakenly *think* they're aware of) when it comes to long term relationship. You'd need a foundation of selflessness - if you're ego-centric but are coerced by neurochemistry to cater to your lover's whims, it'll shine through eventually and ruin the relationship. Next, it requires dedicated work, like any perpetual project, and if you're lazy and averse to rolling up your sleeves to get what you want, you will ruin your relationship.
And last on my list of the main three, there's luck. A relationship lasting 50-60-70 years isn't commonplace, and with all the pitfalls out there, you need a great deal of luck to make it that far. It's not fate, it's not karma, it's not divine will, it's random, unbiased, blindfolded coincidence.
So to sum it up, the reasons marriages fail is 1)people aren't trapped in them anymore, 2)incorrect popular representation -and- 3)people are unbelievably gullible.
What do you mean by "these days", honey the percentage if divorce is was and shall remain the same. It depends on the people.
Our expectations have simply grown too much. We think we can remain in a permanent honeymoon phase. Incidentally 2-3 years is exactly the time the "honeymoon phase" lasts. So then what? Give up and start all over again?
PS: Women and men don't need each other as much as they once did too! Men can get a lot of sex all over the place. Mostly unpaid! And women are financially independent, and have all those gadgets which allow them to raise a kid on their own -- even if with some difficulty.
I actually don't think 'rushing into it' is the issue. People used to get married after barely seeing each other more then a few times, and that's still common in some parts of the world.
The problem is that what it is to be a husband and wife is no longer fixed. People used to know the roles, and when they got married, they agreed to them. Now marriage is a constant negotiation, and you might say you never know the other person well enough to know if you'll like the type of relationship they'll decide they're up for in the future.
-Some people don't have anything to look forward to in marriage. It's more and more common to live together before marriage, or even have children. So really, what left is there to do besides have a wedding?
-Men were not designed to experience manogamy. They were meant to, once horney, find a female and mate to ensure she carries their offspring, and do this ALL of the time. This is the reason why guys get pointed out as being horny all of the time, because we are, but we are more open about it. Men weren't even meant to sleep alongside other people, it is actually male instinct to walk away after sex and rest alone.
-Men and women both have equal sex drives, women are naturally better at controlling it than males, reasons stated above.
- All morals aside.
Because most women are sluts that sleep around before they get married, and most guys don't want to marry used up f***ing nasty whores
well. Marriage ideally is when you want to spend the rest of your life with someone else. Before, marriages were pretty much forced to last but nowadays they don't because people have their eyes on 'out' all the time. But this doesn't mean that a marriage were people don't keep considering 'out' is not possible.
Most people just date, fall in love, get serious and take steps - sex, I love you, move in together, get married. When you feel like the relationship has settled well with the steps you have and you are very happy with your partner, then you think to take the next step.
But you shouldn't just get married because it's the next step and you love them, you should get married if you really do think after great consideration and experience that you would do well by devoting yourself to the other person; that your life will be improved if you sacrifice what you need to sacrifice for them and to take all they have to give you. Each person you could marry is a choice about the whole meaning of your life depending who they are, and if you make the choice you have to make the choice whole-heartedly, and accept that your whole life goes that way rather than 'keeping the table open' so to speak in the back of your mind somewhere, maybe emerging after the honeymoon phase.
Its a combination of differant things. 1. People are getting married young and younger. A lot of the time now right out of high school and without knowing whatelse there is. 2. Temptation is easier with modern technology. 3. Technology again. Instead of people spending a nice quiet evening alone just the two of them, one person is preoccupied with there friends text messaging them while the other is busy looking at stuff online. 4. Finnancial problems. Everyone seems to be hurting for money now days and if you can't pay the bills or afford to get a place of your own then that can be a big problem.
temptation is everywhere...hotties are a dime a dozen
cuz people rush into it. you gotta be with the person for a while to even think about and be smart about it. a lot of people do it out of the spur of the moment. happens A LOT that why so many people fail with their marriage.
seems to be a trend with teenagers and twenty something year olds such as myself.
Marriage is out dated. Marriage was used to exchange ownership of the women, from Father to Husband. Women were considered as an asset during the times before industrialism. As modernism arose, people only married out of love or because they have kids, not to have ownership of another individual, which is called slavery.
Marriage don't last long these days because there isn't any obligation to stay married.
Simply put a lot of modern American women are total whores. Its why I won't get involved with a woman that isn't a virgin.
Well, I think it has to do a lot with having sex before your married and not putting God first. Think about it for a sec, God meant for sex to be saved for after marriage, why? Because it is meant to be a special bond of man and woman that makes them as one flesh, that comes directly from the Bible. So, if people have sex before they are married they are becoming "one flesh" so to speak with multiple people, therefore they leave a apart of their feelings with that person when they breakup or whatever. So, when they finally get married they are a mess, they have emotions for others in the past who theve slept with, and this creates tensions and causes them to not give their whole self to their partner then each person starts to resent the other. The other reason is that when people get married they tend to think about themselves not wanting to put God first or thank Him for allowing you to find a wife/husband. So again they are so focused on themselves that resentment comes up and they both end up hating the relationship so they decide to bail out, marriage is forever and if you chose wrongly then you should have to deal with it, God will get you through, the Bible says that the only reason a person can get a divorce is if your spouse cheats on you, that is all no exceptions. People forget that marriage is a promise made before God.
-Humble Christian 20
It seems like people are either rushing into marriage or not thinking about it in the first place. I know the people I went to high school with that have been married already, maybe 1 of them is doing good. The rest did it I guess because it seemed like that was what's supposed to happen next, almost like their is a script for a person's life that needs to be followed. I've noticed that, even with older people, they seem to gravitate towards one kind of thinking and then social pressure takes over after that. In either case, people end up married then learn a lot more about the person and find out they aren't what they thought the person was. It's like meeting a whole new person once their personal side comes out.
As for why it happens, I couldn't tell you. Maybe it's a form of insecurity and not wanting to be alone, maybe they don't want to be seen alone, maybe they want kids, maybe they don't want to pay their rent alone lol. Who knows.
People rush into marriage too fast. The couples don't know enough about their partner than they thought they did.
I think it's because marriage is now more and more entered with "if this get hard, I can just bail" but less and less "for richer, for poorer... till death do we part.". when my Pearints got married it was already starting to happen but it still mostly had the words "for the rest of my life, I want to be with this person."