My boyfriend of only a short 6 months recently gave me a diamond ring for Valentine's Day. But no engagement?

He said it was a 'pre engagement' ring. And I should have it on my left ring finger. He said he bought it as a set with an actual engagement ring but will use that one as our wedding rings. I'm SO confused. Its like were engaged, but not. He didn't propose, and if/when he does, will he use a ring? I almost feel its a ring to show the world I'm taken, without him actually making that commitment to me. Do men do that? Is it a way of "marking his territory" without a full proposal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's almost clear with what he's said... first of all have you seen this 'other ring?'

    6 months... not long is it, maybe he realizes this but can't help himself from showing you 'your worth' to him by buying you a ring... because he thought that if he did propose you'd say no... it's only been 6 months after all!

    What makes me so sure he would propose?... he mentioned 'your wedding' after you acceted the ring, he's obviousley serious about you both :) (don't know if that's good or bad?)

    He loves you, he must!?!?

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    • Im most sure he loves me! And if he had fully proposed, I most definitely asked for him to wait. And no, I have not seen the other ring. He said he bought it as a set, so I have the actual wedding ring and he would use the actual engagement ring for the wedding. Confusing right? He wants the flashier ring put on after vows he said. But see where I'm confused now is (and I have tried to ask him this!) is will he propose with no ring? He said well then the ring he gave me for pre engagement is now

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    • oh hah your smart! I never thought of it that way at all! I love the way you look at this! SO very helpful. Its almost like you know him ha ha I say that because, after you put all that into words, that is exactly how he is towards me. It definitely makes complete sense because I can just tell he is very serious about me, but doesn't want to seem that way. His actions are speaking way louder than words! Thank you so much for your feedback, it brings things to a whole new light! :)

    • What can I say... I'm ridiculousley intelligant! :) ! hahaha, you're welcome :)

What Guys Said 1

  • a much better question is, why are you asking this to us instead of talking and communicating more with him? A relationship is supposed to be open and comfortable, meaning if your unsure why he gave you a pre engagement ring, then talk to him about it, not some strangers online.

    Your insecurities about why he gave you the ring are ridiculous... marking his territory and preventing you from meeting other guys? Sorry but no guy is gonna blow tons of money on a ring just for that. Stop doubting and question your guy if you truly like him because your going to ruin a good thing if you continue to let your insecurities get the best of you.

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    • Well I appreciate feedback, but to be honest, I wanted others perspectives as well. Which is what this site is for? I also am aware that talking to him will basically give me the real answer, but sometimes its nice to see how others would feel if this happened to them, or if there is a guy on here that has done the same thing. I'm really not insecure about my relationship, actually its the opposite. He is the one moving us forward and fast. But I honestly have never heard of this situation before

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    • Yes, I agree that over thinking is never a good thing. And I have only accepted his gift with open arms towards him, and did not want to question him to his face. It seemed rude and untrusting. But I won't lie and say, in my mind, that I didn't have doubts as to the reasoning behind it. Thanks for a guys view, because yes, he wouldn't spend all that money if he wasn't sincere. I didn't think of that :)

    • i didn't mean that having doubts and fears is wrong, but that letting them run you is. You can build trust with this guy by bringing up your concerns in a gentle way. In a calm moment, ask him gently "hey... I was wondering what you were thinking when you gave me this ring" and look him in his eyes when he answers. Eyes communicate a lot more than people give them credit.

What Girls Said 4

  • you want to get engaged after six months. That sounds a little needy.

    Maybe you shoulkd slow down a little bit

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    • Its not a full engagement, its along the lines of a promise ring. That we're serious and moving towards and see ourselves marrying each other in the future. If he did fully propose, I would have asked him to wait. This was all from him, I didn't ask for him to give me a ring, but I love and appreciate the fact that he went out of his way to do this. The quickness is what I questioned as well. Hence my initial question.

  • Such a sweet story! He likes you but doesn't want to scare you away. Or is frightened to lose you just in case he is too quick. He hopes you will hint that you wnt to marry him by the way.

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  • you're so lucky! i'm so jealous of you ;)
    wish you all the best!

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  • wow that's odd...who buys a diamond ring after 6 months? are you 100% sure it's diamond and not just some wal-mart ring?

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    • Im positive, came from Kay Jewelers. Were of decent age, I'm 27, him 29. No previous marriages or kids. Its fast, I know. And I don't ask or pressure him. I'm just wondering his motives with a pre engagement but no idea if or when he plans on giving me the real deal. All I can figure, is its to maybe make me look not available to other men? No clue.

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