Engagement, when should we do it?

So my boyfriend and I are soon to have a discussion about when we want to get engaged.

Between us, it's already decided. We're getting married. We've talked about finances, kids, religion, even who will do what chores. We've put quite a bit of thought into this and we're very serious. We want to make it happen as soon as possible, but we have set a time limit of max 2 years.

The reason it may take us that long is because we want to do things right. I have student loans to pay off, he needs to pay off his truck, we need to build our credit (not that it's bad, but we want it to be great for when we get a mortgage on a home), save up enough money for a down payment on a house and pay for our wedding.

So it's a lot to get done. We're both really excited and seem to have a hard time not telling people "hey! I decided to marry this person!"

The question is when would be the appropriate time to classify ourself as engaged?

I'm conflicted because I see engagement in two ways:

1) Making a commitment to marry the other person. We've already done that really.

2) Letting people know there's a wedding coming up.

Thing is wedding won't be for quite some time. So is it better to tell people now we've decided to get married but it's going to be a while or tell people when we're ready to start planning the wedding?

Opinions Please


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, the whole point of engagement is that you already know you're getting married, but you haven't gotten married yet. So, if you know you're already getting married, get engaged!

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    • We talked about it, he wants to wait a few months so that we will have been together for a year/his family will take it better and so he has time to save for a ring :)

    • Well, congrats! :D

What Guys Said 1

  • Once the ring is on the finger its official.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you are engaged, there is no obligation for you to have to tell everyone that you are engaged. It is between you and your fiancĂ© when the time is right to tell people. If you are engaged, there's also nothing wrong with informing people and keeping your engagement long. You are doing what you need to do first, and that is the important thing for you and your future husband. If you are committed, it should be your choice how things are going to play out, don't feel obligated to change for anyone else. Good luck!

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  • If you're under the age of 25, then hell no. Don't be stupid. If you're under 25, then you have a lot of growing up to do and things to learn before you combine your journey with someone elses'.

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