My boyfriend and I have been together for four and a half years, and I could definitely see myself spending the rest of my life with him. He appears to feel the same way. Whenever he talks about the future he says things like "when we're married", "when we own a house", and "when we have kids". However, he has yet to propose or talk at all about an engagement.
I asked him about a year ago why he hadn't proposed yet or if he planned to in the near future and his response was that he wasn't ready. I asked why not or what would make him ready, but he got upset and I backed off.
Ever since then, this has been gnawing at me. Surely if he really intended to marry me, he would have plans to ask or would have already done it, right?
He has a stable job with a good company. I work part time because I'm in school, but I make decent money for a student. I plan to get my masters and go to law school, so I'll be in school for at least four more years. We're moving in together next month and everything seems good on that end.
At the same time, I'm questioning why this means so much to me. Would a ring on my finger change our relationship and its dynamics at all? Am I more concerned about the promise of a lifetime together instead of just his casual words?
I know you guys can't solve my problems for me, since you don't know what I'm thinking (hell, I don't even know), but I would love some insight and your interpretations. Thanks so much.
Most Helpful Girl
I think you should focus more on enjoying your time together and not worry so much about planning things out. You've been together for so long and he must love you so much; just moving in together is a very big step, I think that's exciting enough.
I don't mean to sound cheesy, but his love is a promise in itself. A ring means nothing without that love, which you already have. I think we (girls mostly) tend to get ahead of ourselves and worry about the future instead of realizing what we already have.
I get the same way about moving in with my boyfriend (and someday marrying him). There are times when I just want it to happen right away because it seems so exciting and I'd love for him to be all mine in every way possible. But I just have to remind myself that he already is! Haha and I know that, and I'm sure you do too in your heart. And you have plenty of time to do all that together, you have the rest of your lives together, and that's really what's important. Everything else will come :)3