So my previous question stated that I've been having some frustrations with my boyfriend of 5 years in committing & wanting marriage. We were slowly drifting apart & became frustrated with one another, but neither of us could seem to end it. The reason why there has been tension was because he wasn't ready for marriage, & I couldn't accept it no matter how hard I tried. He kept on disregarding how important it was to me to address it. I really just wanted to feel some sort of security that we were at least heading in that direction. So the UPDATE is: We finally talked. After a couple of days just cooling off, we both realized that our relationship was unhealthy in a way that all we did was fight about the little things. We were getting aggravated at each other & frustrated with why we couldn’t make each other happy again. Well last night, it must have been fate, but we planned to watch a movie but we missed the showing, So he took me to our "spot” at the park & it was a perfect setting as it was sunset. We haven’t been here in LONG time. There sitting on the bottom of a tree, we let all our feelings out. I told him all I really wanted was NOT the ring, NOT the marriage, but a sense of being valuable again, that I have reached the point where I think giving up is the best thing to do & that I could feel a distance from him. He told me he was aware he changed, how he treated me wasn’t the same way as before, but all the fighting honestly made him feel like he was done, that he didn’t want the relationship anymore. But he loved me so much that he couldn’t let me go... He was sad that I was sad & that was what hurt him the most. We came up with a bunch of scenarios, about what if we broke up, & separated found others.. etc. But we both knew that it would hurt way to much, & we really were still in love. He held me like he hasn’t held me in a long time, he consoled me, whispered he loved me, & that he can't let go. I told him things need to change, & that maybe we should focus on QUALITY time instead of quantity time together, especially since it was almost like out of habit we would try to see each other everyday. The last thing I wanted I told him was too feel like & obligation. So we both agreed to start over & try to focus on our relationship from a different view, making time for ourselves & working on our relationship. We’ve never really talked it out like this before. We were both exhausted in fighting, & we finally just laid it out. My question now is, do you think there is hope for us yet? Should I give up & will things really be different? At the end of the night we laughed at each other’s jokes & he commented, even though we are in a situation like this, he liked the fact he can still make me laugh. When we parted ways we passionately kissed each other. Then he said good night. I left & fell asleep soundly for the first time in a while, & when I woke up the next morning there was another simple text from him. "gudnite"
Most Helpful Guy
Sure, as long as you're willing to confront the issue as you are doing there is hope. Maybe you both just expect too much; honeymoons don't last 5 years!0