My girlfriend and I have been together for over 4 years and there were a couple of informal conversations about marriage. Lately, she has been sending me pics of engagement rings. I knew that we would be making the next step at some point so I can take the hint that this is what she's asking for.
However, she has this idea that about 3 months salary is to spent on a ring, which, I believe, is a total marketing scheme put out there by jewelers to gouge the customer. We're talking about 15,000 dollars, which is a good down-payment for a house rather than a piece of rock and metal to be worn on a finger.
I know all about the 4 C's of diamond hunting and know that I can get a very nice ring for a much lower amount (about 4 to 5000). Most people can't tell a good diamond from a bad one even with a magnifying glass. I won't lie to her and tell her I spent more AND she wants to pick it out anyway.
We have always been compromising with most matters but both of us have stood our ground on some things. Obviously, the type of ring is important to her and not so much with me. So there's the problem. We have found an uncompromising situation that could be a total deal breaker. What to do?
Most Helpful Girl
I would tell her that right now, financially speaking, it wouldn't be very smart to spend such a ridiculous amount of money on a ring, especially if you can find a one that is just as beautiful at a lower price. The ring is not the most important part, the marriage is, and if she can't get with you as far as money is concerned right now, it might get uglier into the future.
my suggestion to you is for you to look at all the rings she has shown you and find what's in common with them. is it platinum? gold? is the stone square or pear shape? take this information, find a ring at the lower price (a couple of options) and let her choose from your selection or look at a particular place you're interested in. that way, she still gets to pick a ring she wants and you don't have to kill yourself paying for it.
also, give her some bit of a stretch. you want to spend 5,000 or less, but if there's a ring she loves for almost 6 or 7, if you can try and make it work, don't completely disregard it. you don't have to tell her you're loosening up tho, you don't want her to take advantage of it or anything.
good luck and make sure you're not just marrying her because she's emailing you pictures of rings. really sit down and discuss things before getting engage, especially finances and moving and all that other good stuff. good luck with everything!0