My husband left me twice, once when I was pregnant and once when he went back to his country (just after the baby is borned not long). But he came back all the time claiming his love for me and our child. He admit that he met with his ex and still hold feelings with her. He even met with her lying to me it's a business trip once but nothing happened as he claimed.
Now that he is back, he treats me OK, sometime cold. I did find out that he is applying job in another country and his home country where his ex is, I am traumatised when I find out about this. When I ask him nicely on this, he say he just want to get better offer. From another source I did find out he is sending her money as well. I don't know how true this is. I just told him if he really did, then it is better he just go back to her. HE claim that he did not and there is no reason why he should do so.
Now that he is away for work, he hasn't call or return my email. When I ask his friends, they told me maybe he just need a break from all these problems and pressure from his parents who disagree to our marriage , wanting him to leave me and go back to his ex and the pressure from me as well. I believe he do knows if he leave me I will cut off all contacts with him, even with our child. Many people advise me to move on. But somehow I feel that he is stuck and cannot move on till an extent he might want to just run away thus applying the jobs oversea. I do not exactly know his mentality. I can see and feel that he does love me and our child. Maybe he loves his ex too? don't know. Guys and Girls, I really need your advise on this. As this is taking a toll on me. He has not mention about divorce to me though. But I fear this may come, or maybe he will just run awya without mentoning it at all since he does not want to talk about any issues especially about his family.If he leave this country, does this means the end? Guys, girls.. does my husband want to be with us? what is he thinking?
Most Helpful Girl
don't let him run away, throw him out and do not let him back in to control what happens in your life, you've done this too much already and he knows he can get away with it. apologies, this reads as though you are 2nd best for him, you and the child will never be good enough for him while he's thinking about another woman. why would you allow yourself to be treated this way.
the more you allow him to take the p*ss out of you the more he will do it. you need to be more sensible and think about the impact on your child who already has an on/off father, the child will be asking you questions about this in the future.
"somehow I feel that he is stuck and cannot move on till an extent he might want to just run away thus applying the jobs oversea. I do not exactly know his mentality. I can see and feel that he does love me and our child"
his mentality/confusion is not your problem, it is time he grew up and made decisions before having children, he is selfish and not thinking of you.
you have given up your life to bear & raise his/your child, do not give him the rest - you deserve some happiness for yourself, so take it. do not wait for him to give you happiness he will only bring more misery and leave you stuck in HIS mess, it is no life to live with half a man.