I'm scared of marriage?

It's hard for me to fully accept the idea of settling down with one person. Does anyone feel the same?

You may say I haven't find the "one", but other than that what's the reason of feeling this way? I want to be in love but am not that into marriage. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i think there is defrence between "cold feet" and being scared of marriage as a concept...i mean in cold feet you have the acceptance of marriage but you wonder if he or she is the "one" for you, in the 2nd case...you presume that marriage is a cage that will prevent you from doing stuff you like...sometimes true, some times wrong...it depends on how ready YOU are to settle down.

    ps, in my opinion, settling down doesn't mean you will not be able to do stuff you will enjoy, the trick is to find someone who REALLY loves you back and exchange experiance that both of you will enjoy with making a balance for each of you to have his\her OWN time...and that is a very tricky one!

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    • very insightful. thanks!

    • nice way of thinking .thats so true it wouldn't be scary if you really loved them

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes I am scared of marriage also. I'm only ever going to consider it when I'm at least 35+ because I want to do several things in my life before getting married, like traveling the world and what not. Traveling the world single is the way to go, possibly with friends. Opens up room to find a girl that's awesome.

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    • yeah that's an awesome idea traveling the world with friends! I guess a girl probably won't wait that long on purpose. Maybe that's the benefit of being a guy. Girls get old more easily than guys, due to some biological reason...lol

      btw do you do couchsurfing?

    • Couchsurfing.. What? lol I'm not sure. haha

What Girls Said 7

  • Try not to place too much emphasis on the whole marriage issue, maybe at this stage in your life marriage isn't the right choice for you, sure when you meet the right guy things will happen naturally and you might develop that feeling that he's the one

    Another than thing I would say is: what is causing you to be so scared of marriage? Is it the thought of being committed to one person, maybe trusting someone or the fear of having your heart broke, self esteem issues? If so you need to address them first, maybe get professional help because you don't want to look back in five/ten years and find that a fear deprived you of being in marriage having children and developing as a person.

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    • I think its the thought of being committed to one person. Maybe when I meet the one I'll know. But now "ok I'm not that into the guy I'm seeing. So I guess I should move on until I find the First one I feel right to be with. Is this how it works? There must be a lot of "right ones" for one person. But time's limited. So its natural to fall for the "first right one" who comes across your life. Is this the so-caled destiny? Weird I know lol...

    • Being committed to one person is an aspect of marriage, I see no reason why two people cannot live harmoniously without the marriage title if that's what they agree on, this topic can go deeper than that. If you think you are not in a happy relationship at the moment and its something that can't be fixed then that's something you and your boyfriend need to discuss and make the decisions accordingly. Some people make the choice not to get married.

  • totally scared. I was with my ex for 6 years engafed for 3 and I could not wrap my mind around being with only him the rest of my life so I kept pursponing the date til I finally called a quits I definitely got cold feet about the whole idea behind marriage .if I was to marry it would have to be just a in the moment type thing so I would'nt have to think about it or if I was just so in love I couldn't see myself with anyone else only 2 senarios because I still would'nt marry someone because we had kids either I think when you go into a commitment like that it needs to be for true love any doubt means there not the 1. so I think ?

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    • yep sometimes even a small sign of doubt can lead to sth wrong

  • If you find a guy who makes you comfortable with marriage, then do it. If not, you never have to get married. Marriage is not actually a requirement or anything.

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  • Don't force anything. Do what makes you comfortable. Some people never ge married and live very happy, full lives. Some people, like me, just like to be a player for awhile. It will happen when it's right. No point in rushing the feeling of being ready.

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    • ah, player, that's the word...

  • marrige isn't all that bad I'm 18 and due to get married next months and I'm really looking forward to be my bf's wife, I cnt see no bettwe way to show your 'other half' you love them by agreeing to marry them x

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  • dont get married...

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    • not worth trying at all?

    • no no sorry lol. I meant don't torture yourself with it. if you don't want to that's OK. tho you could live with a guy if you guys are in love, and when you are older you may want to get married ;)

  • I use to be really scared of marriage.

    Use to think that once you get married you'd just want to get out (or for me at least).

    Use to think that most marriages end in divorce and that I would too.

    I recently got married (about a year and 2 months now).

    I think life is what you make of it, so if you hold on tight to the love and talk it through it can work and be a romantic lifestyle with someone legally and lovingly but it is his pleasure to keep me happy.

    good luck

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