Am I doing the right thing?

my ex and I dated for three years. the past year was just horrible. he finally broke up with me and didn't talk to me for a month. then he came back really missing me so we hooked up twice. any part of me that had moved on before that went away and I fell for him all over again. then a week later he got a gf. weve remained friends even though he tells me he has very strong feelings for me. this is killing me. I tried to walk away once but he flipped out and it was hard becaue he is my best friend so I went back. the bullshit is continuing for example saturday he said I'm dating her, but I don't know how has my heart. her or you. I just can't take it anymore. I haven't talked to him for three days now and feel oddly happy. should I keep it up or could I be passing up my soulmate.


0|0
4|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • i think you're wasting your time. I was in a similar situation as yourself. I was with another girl for 2 years. for the first year, it was absolute bliss, then things started to turn sour. Every day I would want to go see her, yet the second we did meet up, we started getting on each other's nerves. One day, we both decided that it would be better if we both moved on. To this day, we are still friends. Now I'm not saying that we are best friends, but we are still in the friends circle (we still hang out from time to time with a group of friends and it doesn't feel awkward). I ended up meeting this incredible girl, the one of my dreams perhaps, three years ago. We ended up dating and just recently this past May, I got down on one knee and proposed to her. What I'm trying to say is, we still have good days and bad days. In the span of a month, we may have a disagreement if not none. Both of us don't try to impress the other, we just act normally. If you are in a situation where it seems as though you've fallen for someone and just want to stay together because it's been 3 years, I think you're doing the wrong thing. A relationship, to me, is one where both people care about each other and know where their heart is set. it seems as though, after 3 years, your boyfriend still has no clue where his heart lies. If I were you, I'd move on. it's not easy after 3 years, but you deserve better.

    I hope things work out for you.

    Regards,

    CD

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • Chances are if you were sole mates, you wold have never broken up in the first place. I answered a similar question last night and I'm going to answer this one the same way. HE IS USING YOU, let me explain. He wants this other girl, but he does not want to see you with another guy. He is telling you want you want to hear so you don't find another guy and he can have his cake and eat it to. He is having fun, living his life while keeping you on a leash, with the hopes that he is making a mistake with the other girl. Continue not talking to him, don't waste your time. Go find someone that is willing to focus their time solely on YOU.

    0|0
    0|0
  • if you're having the gut reaction of feeling good by staying away, then keep it up.

    there's more & better fish in the sea.

    good luck

    0|0
    0|0
  • First thing. Get it cleared from your mind as well as his. Does he still want you or the other GF?

    Possible answers:

    1. You - then you can give him a chance but the knife is still hanging on.if someone can cheat once, they can cheat you as many times.

    2. other Girlfriend - Atleast he is honest and indirectly means that he does not want you. Cry and keep moving. Get into a relationship where you can get commitment. Don't settle for anything less than commitment. After all, this is the reason why you are in this state.

    3. Both - He is jealous about you. He would want another girl as well as you for sex and emotional reasons. If you want to be his sex slave, you can carry on.

    Bottom line. If you wanted a casual realtionship when you first dated, you should have expected this whether it is 3 or 10 years. If you had wanted commitment at the first place, you should have been ready for a commitment. Decide what you want and remember that you reap what you sow.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he's gonna be your soulmate. well goodluck in keeping him away from other girls. honestly I don't get why people would say "I love you. I really do.!" and then go ard flirting with other people or start a relationship with another person. doesn't make any sense does it?

    As much as it hurts. get on with your life without him.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • I don't see why your happiness is odd, I would say normal because you've distanced yourself from a source of pain. You need to raise the bar for your definition of soul mate - this guy is treating you like crap. Any man who loved you would not use you for sex, emotionally blackmail you, and completely disregard your feelings to benefit himself. He sounds like a complete jerk - you need to stay away and use the time to heal. Damn, how love is blind!

    (been there done that as well, sigh) Good luck and stay strong.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Keep it up. He is using you. You pegged it right when you said it was bullshit. That is crap. I don't know who has my heart. he is playing on your feelings. for whatever reason, he wants both- you and her. And a nice guy, a considerate guy, wouldn't do this. not only is it dishonest to you, it is to her, too. you have to remember the past year, and WHY it was bad. hold onto that. and give him his walking papers.

    if you really want him to go away, or to hurt him, tell him you are seeing someone else. and don't want o see him. wish him well, and tell him you found someone you erally like, and yo don't want to mess it up. that'll get him off his high horse. right now he is on an ego trip. he has both you and her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh hunny, I was there. Almost identical situation. He is totally all about him and making it all about him. Why should he decide everyone's future? The best thing would be, release your self from him but I know that is hard to do. Keep up what you're doing. Soulmates will come to you when it is time. Don't compromise yourself. (talkin from experience here). Hang in there!

    1|0
    0|0
  • I want to agree with everyone, he is using you. He knows you still love him so he knows he can come to you whenever he wants. If you keep letting him do that he will continue to do that to you. Believe me I've been there, done that. It's not easy, but that's life. I will suggest that you keep yourself busy with other stuff hang out with friends and by the time you know it, he will be your past. If it is meant to be, he will come back to you and only you. Good luck.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...