5 years???/

After 5 years relationship do you think he should asked me to get engaged or is it time to move on as the relationship is going no where. I'm 34 he is 45


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Its time to start packing my friend and move on! After being in a relationship for 5 years and he hasn't asked to get engaged? Its time to read the writing on the wall! The problem very well could be age. While he is 45, most men aren't wanting to start a family at that age and it might not even be an issue for you. At the same time, maturity levels are different as well. The best way to find out is to be open and honest with him! At the end of the day, its time for a reality check for you as a couple. If your happy with the present situation and you don't really care if it goes any further, stay.if not, then you must be proactive in what it is that you seek. Best of luck to you and remember, what you want is the most important!

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What Guys Said 1

  • In my opinion after 5 years I wouldve asked the question already but in a guys point of view, some guys just don't want to. Have you ever brought up the subject with him? or has it just been in the back of your mind and he has no idea you have that thought. The best thing to do is let him know how you feel and get his feedback, there's no point in holding back after 5 years, he should know you better than anyone and you should feel the same.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I just have to wonder - has he given you any reasons why he doesn't want to get married? Have you discussed your feelings about marriage to him? Do you want children with him, is that why this is so important to you?

    It's hard to walk away from a relationship that you have invested so much time into. It's obvious the man loves you, five years is a long time to be committed to one person. Is marriage going to be the thing that breaks this?

    I know this is not a popular opinion, but it doesn't seem like a good enough reason to break up for, unless you want to have children with him. I realize what marriage symbolizes - faithfulness, devotion, love, respect and commitment. Has he not shown all this to you already? I've seen a lot of marriages that had none of those qualities, heck my own parents were part of one and they were married for 20 miserable years. I've seen long term relationships that have withstood everything - and the couples are still not married.

    I'm not trying to convince you to stay with the man and not get married. You need to talk to him, help him understand how important this is to you. And if in the end - being married is more important than being with him, then walk away. Just don't discount his love for you.

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  • Well, you're only a few years older than me, and I'd have already walked. Has he been married before? If he has, he may not be willing to do it again.

    At his age, most guys would've taken that step by now. Sounds like a possible commitment-phobe.

    Pin him on the subject. Ask him if you'll ever get to that point, and when or why not. Tell him you want to be married; not just eternal home-dwellers, see what he does from there.

    Good luck.

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  • does he have kids? if he does.tht mite b the reason.cuz I have a friend whos dad promised her he wouldn't get married again.so him and his girlfriend have been dating for 7 years. but her dad won't get married because he promised her.

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  • You can tell him how important having a family is to you and if he has no intention on going in that direction you will need to move on, not because you don't care about him, but you guys are not on the same page. He should understand that especially if he was married before and already had kids of his own. It is not too reasonable for a woman to ask those questions at all.

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  • why don't you just ask him?

    we're 2008. if you want something, go for it girl. and if he says no, move on. why are people so afraid to go for what they want?

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  • if you guys love eachohter then don't break it! he might just be waiting for the right time to ask you. if he doesn't seem into you then break up with him.

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