Why do some mothers push their daughters to get married?

I'm opposed to marriage.

I am 20 years old and am very independent and career driven with no interest in marriage or children.

My mum is obsessed (understatement) with weddings and she's always saying things like "baby I'm going to use this color for your wedding" etc.

She saves EVERY wedding magazine/picture and tapes wedding things on t.v.

My mum is an absolute darling and I love her very much but when ever she brings this subject up I get irate!

I've been telling her I'm a lesbian (even though I'm not) (lol) but it doesn't work...she doesn't believe me. (rightly so)

Why won't she let it go!?!?!

Where does this obsession come from?!?!?!

Is anyone else's mother this nuts?!?!

Updates:
My mum married when she was 18 to my dad.

They've been together for 32 years and are very happy.

She did have a small-ish wedding but it was still very beautiful.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Weddings are a beautiful time in a couple's life, but they are nothing to be rushed into. My mom always told me to take my time and find the guy I truly love. She first married at 20 and he was a real jackass who cheated on her. She divorced after two years and was single from 22 to 38 when she met my dad and was best friends for 12 years working together then finally married both at 38 and had me at 40. He was the best husband to my mom and the best dad I could ever ask for. I'll always love him and cherish all 18 years I had with him. He's forever missed and will never be replaced. God bless you daddy. (R.I.P. Thomas J. Berger- September 19th, 1951- April 19, 2010). It's sad how so many kids don't spend as much time with their parents as they should. You never know when you might lose them.

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    • See your mum's practical! mine is not.

      I'm sorry about your dad. I don't know how you cope. I don't know how I could go on living without my parents :'(

    • It's not easy, my dad was my best friend. We played everyday after school and work and went garagesaling on the weekends. I was so fortunate to have him for 18 great years and 20 years of marriage with my mom. He missed so much at the end of my senior year and going to NY performing in Carnegie Hall. Hopefully he got a front row seat in heaven watching over me.

What Guys Said 4

  • Some mothers are like that. Heck, even as a guy, my mom gives me grief about it sometimes. There may be something that can be done about it, but I have yet to find it. Until then, I just go with the flow.

    Reminds me of my favorite joke:

    At weddings, my aunts used to pinch my cheeks and say "you're next!" They stopped when I started doing it to them at funerals. :)

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  • Did she have a wedding when she got married? If so, was it a good wedding, or nothing special? Does she have anything going on in her life, or is it fairly boring and empty? Many parents try to live through their children, and this could very well be a case of a mother trying to experience the dream wedding she never had through her daughter's wedding.

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    • She's South American and from what I've learned they tend to live for their kids. And my sister and I are definitely my mums life.

      I think you may be right

  • its just cultural, traditional, family ordeals. its the 21st century. don't hate but try to work with mommy.

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  • how many times has she been married? 20, 30. 100...

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    • haha just once

    • then she probably feels you should too. if it was more than that, she thinks its just for fun and all that. but it sounds like she's serious about your dad vice versa. maybe she feels you can be the same way. besides, your too pretty not to be in white

What Girls Said 5

  • I'm kind of old fashioned and definitely want to get married someday soon. And I know my mom definitely wants me to get married as well. But she's not like, pushing it, like your mom is.

    You are your own person though so it's your decision, not hers.

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  • No, luckily my mother doesn't give a sh*t if I get married or not. As long as I'm "happy", then she is too.

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    • Same. Thank jeebus.

    • Show All
    • LOL. I have two sisters, they can carry on the "legacy".

    • I have four sisters and one brother, so yeah, I agree. They can be the ones to carry on the "legacy". Two of them already have.

  • Yeah, my mom always speaks as if marriage and kids are a certainty for me. I don't know what I want yet, but I dread disappointing her if that life isn't for me. She loves me though, so hopefully in the end she'll support me. I'm sure yours will too :)

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  • she probably thinks you will be happier if you are married, just continue to do what makes you happy and prove to her that you can be happy without a husband. if that's what you want. Well my mom did the same thing to me.

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  • She's old-fashioned, loves you very much and wants to see you happy. She's happily married I bet and she thinks that what makes her happy will make YOU happy.

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