Am I asking too much?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now. We are both graduated from high school and are planning to attend college. He is going away to college but is staying in the same state and I am going to a local college until I transfer to a university, We both are majoring in Physiology so we plan to end up at the same college and graduate together. Anyways, since it will take a long time to receive our majors in Psyc and we both decided not to get married until after we graduate college, would it be such a bad idea to at least be engaged throughout college? Or some type of commitment. I told him that although I will, I do not want to just be "his girlfriend". I want some type of commitment that will show that he is serious about me. I feel like I might be pressuring him into marriage. I wouldn't mind being engaged for a while, I just want some type of commitment. I was thinking that he could give me a "promise ring" but I'm just not sure if I'm asking to much.. What do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ask him how he feels about it, and the reasons behind it. If he really just wants to put off saving for the ring and making it special then just wait a bit longer. Some guys are romantic like that.

    If he says he doesn't see it your way but will marry you some day, then at least that is commitment enough to say that. You know? Having a vision or a plan some day.

    If he says he doesn't see it your way and not sure about marriage at all, then you might want to start worrying. That's what I'd say.

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What Guys Said 1

  • you can't ask him for a ring, he has to do that on his own. I get tht yu want commitment with him but I think your going about it it the wrong way. if you two are that close I thnk he will make a commitment on his own. if yu ask him for commitment he may feel like your trapping him and will scare him away.

    just stay close friends with him if he's not with yu because of distance, he won't forget you because you didn't wrong him for him to break up with you. yu won't be near him but yull still be one of the "good ones" he remembers

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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't see how that's asking for too much. I mean you two seem to be very serious so it's only natural to want something more. I would talk to him about it and see how he feels.

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  • yes that is a bad idea and I'm saying that for your benefit. HS is one thing, college is another. I'm not saying you're not going to make it, I'm saying that you're going to meet people from all walks to life and interact with them and they're going to change you. You might meet someone you like better, someone you connect with more and being engaged is not a good idea. You shouldn't limit yourself. I'm not saying to actively look for another boyfriend, but as you go through your classes and projects, you're going to meet other people

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  • unless this guy has given you some sort of reason to not trust him you should just let it be and if he has given you a reason not to trust him then well you shouldn't be with him. Pressuring him into marriage will not work to your advantage, trust me. I went through the same thing with my boyfriend and we were engaged for a bit but it didn't exactly work, he wasn't happy being almost 100% tied down when the rest of his college friends were single and needless to say we fought like crazy over the dumbest stuff but ever since I called off everything and gave him some space we have been great..we have a apt together even though I spend my nights alone for now and he now graduates in sept and is coming home to me =]

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