What kind of marriage/relationship do your parents have?

Are they still together? Actually happily in love after all these years? What do you think their "secret" is to a happy marriage?

Or are your parents splitting up or divorced? Did they try to make it work for the children's sakes? Are they now in the process of being remarried?

How do you feel about all this?

My parents are legally divorced as of this month and they're both remarrying by the end of the summer. This will be both of their third marriages. So all the best there...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My parents were married forever, and very much in love until the day my mom died. I loved seeing them together, they were so happy. They had so much fun together. And they were great parents. And I was an "oops" baby, mom was 43 when she had me.

    I remember walking into the house once from college to visit, they didn't hear me. I heard them laughing in the family room. I walked in & mom was sitting on dad's lap & he was holding her & they were smiling & laughing. They really loved each other.

    When she died, he grieved for her terribly. I didn't think he would get passed it. He misses her everyday.

    You know that program where you can zero in on locations? See your house & others addresses, & get close ups? Global something? I was looking up dad's house & looking around my hometown. I looked at the cemetery, it was a photo from last fall or sometime. I saw my mom's grave & there was my dad's car right by her grave area. He's still in love with her. God, I wish I had love like that. I almost made it, 33 years. I feel like we let our son down.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Well my mother and father got a divorce when I was about a year old, then each of them married another person. When I was about 16-17 my mom and my step dad got a divorce. My stepfather tried to make things work out with her for the sake of me and my brothers and sister. It didn't help really, its one of those things you learn in life. My brothers grew up not believing in love truly, they slept around with other girls while they had girlfriends or not. I'm the youngest among my brothers , so it didn't effect me too much, I was just raised into and it became my normal reality , opposed to my brothers who had to adjust. I grew up wishing for love, like I grew up disgusted of how my father cheated on my mother with the woman he is married to now, to my brothers cheating on their girlfriends with other women and asked me a few times to lie for them at a young age. I didn't like any of it. I kinda grew up with idea that I will be different from them, its a cute idea or naive idea, and its been rocky so far with my experiences, but I'm determined to prove to everyone love shouldn't be taken for granted the way many people do to this day.

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  • my parents split when I was 8 or 9, so whatever secret they once had totally blew up and ended. it made me sad from time to time but I could clearly see that things weren't right between them, all I could do is take care of myself and live my life tho.

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  • My parents are somewhere around 38 years (I think they're coming up on 39th anniversary this Sept), and to date, there's no hint of any impending change in that. They still go on vacations together, they still have date nights, and they seem generally happy together.

    To answer your question about how they stay together, I think it's how things are split. Neither one had the "final say" in things; they almost always talked things out (unless it was obvious, like how long I should be grounded). They help each other around the house, so one side doesn't feel like they're trapped. They each have their own hobbies/volunteer things, but when needs be, they'll help each other out. So they have a good life together, but they also get breathing room. They really do seem like a happy couple.

    Enchanted, I'm really sorry to hear about your parents. :( How're you doing with it?

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    • Lol they've been separated for years now and I knew a divorce was coming. I'm okay but thanks. :)

  • My parents divorced when I was 3. My father left my mother. I've heard different versions of why they did through the years, with the only common thread being that my father was right to leave her and that my mom was a total whackjob at the time. She does admit to attacking him with a knife one night because she was frustrated with the fact that he refused to argue back when she was trying to argue with him about something. They were married for 8 years.

    My mother has only had one boyfriend since the divorce, and that was a highly dysfunctional relationship that failed after 3 years because he was a loser alcoholic. My father ,on the other hand, went through girlfriends like toilet paper afterward for years, never being single and always having another girl waiting in the wings whenever it looked like his present relationship was on the verge of failing. He has since then remarried. They've been married three years now, although it looks like their marriage is on its way out.

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  • My parents were married 38 years when my dad died. The classic strong man--dependent woman narriage. Mom is lost without him.

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  • theres really no such thing as a happily ever after with marriage... its a myth.. my parents have been together for 38 years now. and still going strong but of course not without its faults... there's times when my mom was so furious she's even told me if I didn't have 30 some-odd years into this marriage then wed be having a divorce... people get sick of each other when they are around each other for too long.. they get annoyed and frustrated with the mundane things.. what you need to do is find time to be apart.. have separate hobbies... sure having same interests and activities is fun but some times you need an escape even from your wife/hubby... so let him play that video game and let her go shopping. you do need some time apart otherwise it just won't last. marriage is work.. its something that you need to always give your best to day in day out because the second you stop trying is the second it starts failing...

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  • Hmmm I wouldn't say my parents are happily in love but they are still together. They are still dedicated to their families if that's what you mean.

    I don't know if there is any one secret to a happy marriage.. I think it just takes a lot of compromise and to think of the other person as much as you think of yourself. I think people think they can still act however they want in a marriage which can be selfish because it is a partnership and an EQUAL partnership at that. They also forget all the reasons they fell in love in the first place. I can't claim to be an expert though because I haven't been in a serious relationship but that's just what I've observed.

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  • Divorced. My mom remarried, my dad probably never will because he still loves my mom (he's told me so himself :\). ya...

    Divorce happened around 18 or so, but they were fighting a lot more around 15 until 18 so ya. I just didn't care by that point because I was just generally sleeping a lot (my sleeping schedule has been f***ed up since a baby since I always preferred being up at night) and I dunno.

    Amusing so many here are of divorced parents. I wonder if that's why so many of us are on a relationship advice sight (basically what it is lol).

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  • Yeah they're still together. Happily in love. But they argue a lot about my grandparents (long story). How do I feel about all this? I feel alright but I have no f***ing idea why my dad married someone like my mom. Pardon my French.

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  • They divorced when I was 3-5. Not sure of the exact age. They didn't. I was told that my dad was a d*** and insulted my mother and I. I feel that my dad is an ass who didn't know how to be a father and owes me 7000 dollars in child support. I could go to college for a year with that money. :|

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  • I take it they're still gogether. They married just before I turned 7 which has made me question whether I was "wanted" or not. I still don't think I was. We don't talk anymore. We have too many differences of opinion. they stick with my younger brother, the FAVOURITE sibling.

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  • They've been married for as long as I remember, I'm pretty sure they're in love ha ha I mean they do have their small fights every now and then, but nothing major and they're always there for each other

    I want what they have one day :P lol

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  • I have no idea. I'm surprised anyone was able to get along with my mom. She's religious fascist in my eyes, which makes it hard to talk to her about anything. But for what it's worth, they are still together.

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  • Happily after 33 years. As for my sister, myself and her children, well, we either have no relationship at all, we've been treated like fill-in-blank, or they just don't last. It's truly pathetic. Our luck stinks. But hopefully I'll have what my parents have.

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  • The kind where they didn't slut around before they got together. Seems like too many young women and young men these days have sex before marriage and have the attitude "if it feels right, it's alright". Of course this completely disregards the possibility of STDs, unwanted pregnancies, single parenthood and the social and psychological consequences of premarital sex but most people don't seem to care.

    The funny part is most of these people call themselves Christian, despite the fact that the lifestyle they lead isn't anything close to how Christ lived.

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  • Both dead.

    My father was a relatively young widower when they met.

    My mother spent all the money (they had a good income) and she cheated on my dad.

    I suspected it at 16, knew it when I was adult. I only knew the full extend when she died (years after my dad died)

    They never divorced.

    I ressented the eternal lack of money but I wasn't troubled by the cheating. That was their business, not mine.

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  • By dad moved away when I was 3.. My mums always had to support me and look after me with no help from my him, my dads a prick, if I ever see him again ill be sure to drop him.

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What Girls Said 13

  • My parents split up when I was 7. It was upsetting at the time, obviously, but looking back I definitely see that it was for the best, lol. I remember all the arguing and yelling, and just generally not getting along after a while, none of which was pleasant to be around, and wouldn't have been healthy for me OR them, had they continued it. Their relationship now is okay. They get along alright, they joke and flick each other s.hit, but they're definitely not friends. They only really talk when it's something regarding me, or one needing help of some sort from the other. When they split, they settled it out of court. They let me decide who I wanted to live with, and I picked my mom, and staying with my dad on weekends. I kind of wonder how much different I would be right now if I'd chosen to live with my dad instead though, lol.

    My dad moved to Arizona and got married several years back, when I was like 16 I think, and I gained a younger step sister. She's 9 or 10 now, but my dad is the only dad she's ever known because he came into her life when she was about 2-3. They moved back to Oregon a few years later. So they've divorced now, the ex wife moved back to Arizona with her daughter, but she'll always be my little sister and he'll always be dad to her. He's working toward legally adopting her so that he has parental rights as well. A little under a year ago he ran into a lady he dated briefly in high school, and they reconnected. Things have gone really well and I'm super fond of her, and they're planning to get married sometime next summer. She has a daughter my age who I also like, and an 18-19 year old son that I haven't met yet. So I'll have new siblings, haha.

    My mom on the other hand, hasn't dated or been with anyone since she split up with my dad, so it's obviously been rough for her. Yesterday though, she had a date. This guy who frequents her work kept asking her out and she finally gave in. Turns out, he's the dad of some kids I went to school with. So I've actually known him since I was about 5-6, because I used to hang out with his daughter at their house a lot when I was younger, back when he was still with their mom, lol. So we'll see where that goes. =]

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    • I should also add that my parents were never married. I was born when my mom was 19 and my dad 23.

  • My parents have been married for 25 years, I know its not always been the best - sometimes they fight and have their moments but they always get through it.. and trust me they've been through A LOT.

    I'll be sitting in the living room, on my laptop or watching a show and just the way they joke around, the things they say and how they talk to each other you know they really love one another, it's cute and makes me happy. (:

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  • my mum and step dad are still together though I do have a strong feeling that their marriage won't last.

    I don't think there is any particular secret to a happy marriage. Successful marriages involve lots of things ..and those will vary from one couple to another.

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  • My parents have been divorced since I was 4. They didn't try to make it work since my dad had been cheating on my mom. Personally I don't really care about my parents divorce since my dad was never there for me and my older brother. Though I do wish he would have spent some time with us.

    Both of them are remarried. My dad has 3 more kids with his new wife.

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  • yep, they are happy together, and I can tell too, I guess that's why I want to get married, so them both<3

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  • The seperated one.

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  • They've been married for over two decades, but I wouldn't say they're happy. My dad can be pretty abusive to my mum, & my mum can take a very little regard towards his feeling. Also, they have lots of problems regarding money & other things, so they're too preoccupied with all the sh*t in their lives to worry about love or anything. I doubt they'll ever break up though. they don't have anyone else.

    Makes me feel doubtful, I've taken on the behavior & I don't want to get married when I grow up.

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  • LOL, divorced but they still talk.

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  • Ok, my parents are still together over 30 years. Same with my husband's parents.

    I don't know the secret to my in laws but here's what I think the secret for my parents relationship is:

    1. My mom & dad are religious and don't believe in divorce.

    2. My dad works really hard and he's smart so they have no money problems. Even if my mom didn't have to work and just took care of the 5 kids and the house.

    3. My dad is good with cars, and all other financial aspects of life.

    4. My parents go to church and ask for advice on their marriage.

    5. When they do have issues, they always have the entire church counsel come talk to them, and also they have all my dad and my mom's side of the family (the elders) come and talk. you know? Like a marriage counseling with people who truly care about them.

    6. My mom and dad really care about staying together for the kids.

    7. Getting divorced is seen as something really looked down upon in our culture (we're Asians)

    8. It is a dishonor for either one of them to cheat, so they don't.

    9. My mom does try to work odd and end jobs like housekeeping and temporary work as a line worker etc to help with extra food/bills.

    10. My dad takes his family out for weekend meals at a nice restaurant, and we go on vacations every summer together. My dad tries not to talk too much and always just does what he believes is right with money/raising his kids, and my mom talks way too much... about nothing at all. My dad just ignores he most of the time some times... because she can be bipolar/liar/manipulative/mood swings like crazy.

    I'm in my 2nd year of marriage right now... I hope I have a long lasting marriage too! good luck to everyone.

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  • a compatible one. I've never even seen my parents hug in all my years. they're just compatible together

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  • My parents are still together and are coming up on their 20th anniversary! They're happy, but they still have their moments... Lol. I think the secret to their relationship is that they help each other out, they don't drink at all! (believe it or not, a lot of splits happen because alcohol gets involved), they have a sense of humor (EXTREMELY important. It takes fights to jokes and helps them work stuff out), and besides loving each other in an intimate way, they are best friends above all. They tell each other everything and trust each other with their lives. They are truly partners in life and I think that's why they'll last forever. They live under the Lord God and work together to build their relationships in him. They were also virgins when they got married! (:

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  • They are married for 29 years now but not happily in love together :) They're just good parents who want to be there for their children.

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    • Same for me. They're still married but they argue a lot. My dad told me he never left because of us (his children) and he wants to set a good example of a man.

  • My dad cheated on my mom all the time and even gave her some sti's. He was a douche. He abandoned us when I was three, my brother was seven and my sister was 1. He was forced to pay child support through the courts and would refer to my mother as a blood sucking bitch because he had to help support us. Now, he doesn't understand why we don't have a close relationship or why I keep ending up with guys who end up treating me like he did my mom. I wish this wouldn't affect my ability to trust men but it still does to this day.

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