My ex-fiance recently has called me out for being a) inconsistent
(what he calls my voicing concerns about "us" aloud; in his mind, I was flaking every other day, when I was just processing everything aloud)
and b) untrustworthy/blabbing (what he calls my using a couple friends on FB as sounding boards, as I talked through our relationship)
I explained myself to him this way, via email:
> I think I was committed to August, while still working everything out in my
> mind. Does that make sense? Like, in my mind I was committed, but I was maybe
> having the bride-jitters, and having these little questions and stuff, so I was
> working through it all, while still planning on marriage, but from your side,
> you must have not realized how determined I was to get married in August, and so
> just saw/heard the jitters. I'm not going to lie. I'm new to love, commitment,
> being a unit with one person, and shutting the rest of the world out, I'm new to
> going it alone with a man, and not needing validation from other voices. In
> some ways, I'm very much a girl, trying to learn how to be a woman. So yes, I'm
> sure I did a poor job of handling many things. Thanks for your grace.
ANY IDIOT WOULD KNOW IMMEDIATELY THAT YOU AREN'T MARRIAGE MATERIAL.
Do you guys think he's right? If he is, I can try to change, but what if he just doesn't appreciate me for what I am?
Most Helpful Guy
I think you both sound unready for marriage. You shouldn't be that nervous. The more nervous you are about getting married, the more unready you are for that commitment. I think his comment, while very rude, was because he was nervous about getting married. Every time you voiced your concerns, they would pile up on top of his own concerns. The whole "you are unworthy" nonsense he was spewing, is just an excuse for him to run away from getting married.0