Marriage, does anyone believe in it anymore?

I have been in a relationship for the past 3 years and it seems like when people get married once its hard for them to try again...so just completely nix marriage and everything? Or now do we have to find someone who has never been married AND eventually wants it...? what does everyone think about marriage?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Most decently intelligent men living in the western world know that marriage is a terrible deal for them. Marriage is outdated and no matter how hard the so-called Family Courts try to save it, it's going, going,.. and soon to be gone in developed nations. Humans run on INCENTIVE and there is NO incentive for a marry to marry, ever.

    The only way I know of for a man in America to have his own kids is by surrogacy or adoption. Then, if and when a woman in his life leaves, the kids and the house are still his. She still gets a good deal, though, because at least she doesn't have to pay him for the next 18 years as a man does now.

    By the way, it's not "child support". There is no requirement that she spends it on the children, nor is it based on child raising expenses. It's based on what he makes. Call it what it is... a female lifestyle support subsidy.

    Why would any man in his right mind sign such a one-sided agreement (marriage) in which he was required to be financially obligated while she has no requirement whatsoever?

    The agreement of marriage serves the state and women. Men get majorly shafted by it and people ask why men are reluctant to marry.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I think a lot of people get married because society tells them to, and they get screwed down the road because they settled, and weren't ready for it yet. Marriage is not the next stage of a person's relationship. It's a commitment, a daunting one. It was designed as an institution for raising children and was appropriated by the Christian church and touted as something everyone should have, and as the final stage of a relationship (and I'm saying this as a pretty staunch Christian and preacher's kid). Western culture inherited that tradition, and it doesn't really fit with modern relationship preferences.

    But, I'm old-fashioned. If I ever find a girl I can trust and appreciate, I'm going to steal her back to my cave and make her Mrs. Wrong.

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  • no reason for a guy to get married unless he is marrying up to someone who has lots of money and doesn't mind ever seeing their kids again

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  • Do I believe in marriage? At this point and time in my life it's not something I'm thinking about. Granted its tradition. If I found the right woman, and she really wanted marriage I would probably give that to her. Not that I think its necessary to be prove your love to someone.

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  • I want to get married again someday. Honestly though, with how many women keep filing for divorce, instead of trying to work through their problems, don't know if I can find a single woman that does believe in marriage. I went through one divorce and I don't want to go through another. Once bitten twice shy.

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  • I cannot begin to tell you how many of my friends have been screwed by marriage. Before settling down, they were having a great time with us all. After taking the plunge, they have not emerged from the cave of their existence and have their balls in their wives safe. And those are just the ones who haven't been divorced yet. But I have NO sympathy for these dumbasses since I warned every single one of them before they made the worst mistake of their lives.

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  • It was and is extremely important to me. I know some people don't feel the sme. That's OK. It's just imortant to ME.

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  • i believe in it personally. I also believe that you have to work to make things work... both parties have to work together to make the relationship last. It's not like things have to be lame and boring once you're married, you can still have fun and do whatever..

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    • I know I'd like to be married one day but since he has been married it puts me at a disadvantage especially when it went sour...I know I would like more of a commitment but I know marriage doesn't fix that I think trust does thanks;)

  • I think it is a very powerful thing. IT is when a man and a women love each other and for those who are true about there love and really think that they are with the one they want. I think that it is better to find someone that is similar to you, if you have been married then maybe find someone that has also been married

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  • I don't. Against my better judgement I got married anyway. I still don't believe in it. Biggest mistake of my life.

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    • A bad partner doesn't make the concept of marriage bad.

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    • knowmeyourself, you are correct. A bad partner does not make marriage a bad concept. The laws surrounding marriage makes marriage a bad idea.

    • I cannot begin to tell you how many of my friends have been screwed by marriage. Before settling down, they were having a great time with us all. After taking the plunge, they have not emerged from the cave of their existence and have their balls in their wives safe. And those are just the ones who haven't been divorced yet. But I have NO sympathy for these dumbasses since I warned every single one of them before they made the worst mistake of their lives.

  • I'd like to do that eventually. No doubt about it.

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  • it's an outdated institution. what guy in his right mind would commit to older version of a female that, when was younger, gave herself out for free

    its f***ing bat-sh*t stupid

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    • Mmmm...maybe a guy that doesn't buy into the outdated idea that a woman's sexual history has anything to do with her value as a person. People commit to each other for all kinds of reasons...compatibility, security, the desire to grow old with someone. If it's not for you, that's fine, but don't assume your stone age ideas apply to everyone.

    • I like your *adorable* attempts to antiquate men's natural needs and desires.

      Value as a person? No. Value as a romantic partner; absolutely.

What Girls Said 5

  • I believe in it...but marriage only works when both people believe in it. That's the trick. The hardest part of it is: spending your life with one person goes against our biology. Biologically, we are more suited for "serial monogamy", meaning having several different committed partners following each other. So, for one marriage in your life to work, both people have to hold the value of thier relationship and committment over thier natural impulses and even sometimes someone's mistake (infidelity). I believe it can be done, but not without a lot of sacrifice and resolve and trust. The passion goes away after a few years, so if there is a deep bond based on common interests, raising children, and what you've been through together, I think this can definitely outweigh the urge to find something new and more exciting.

    But I do think society is moving further and further away from marriage. The economic need for it has withered, but for people who want to have kids, I think it's still important for them to grow up in a family unit.

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  • it exists , so you can't really not believe and it. do I want to get married & realize I agreed to spend my life with someone I can't stand? no.

    anyways I see nothing wrong with living together if were in love. if we love each other so much, we do not have to sign anything to make sure we 'mean' it/. I think marriage is very unromantic actually. its like you are scared the other person is bluffing, so you get it in writing& they will be shamed by friends& family if they leave. id rather believe in love, than a contract.

    & marriage was not invented fr raising children, it was invented for raising bear that the children helped with. on property that belonged to one family. its about property relations- not love.

    jut like nazism as about genocide -not being physically fit- even tho they were supposed to be physically fit.

    marriage was aout property even tho they were supposed to have kids.

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  • My grandparents have been married for 50 years.

    And I really find that inspirational.

    I want to find someone to spend my life with :)

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  • i still believe in marriage and I plan on getting married when I'm older and find "the one"

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  • I believe in it and I want it to happen.

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