Is there any future with him?

I have been going out with my boyfriend for over 5 years now. We are both 23. But we only see each other twice...sometimes even just once a week. Because we are both either busy with uni or with placements. We rarely call or text one another. When we do it is always me that calls or texts. More often than not he does not pick up or reply. I can go for days after texting him and not receive a text back. Crazy I know...but I'm not a particulary needy person. It's now that stage in life, when friends are starting to get engaged...but anytime I even hint at the future he gets grumpy and annoyed. I want us to get married. He knows that is where we are heading. Every so often he will say little things... little hints at the future. But I am so confused by his behavior I don't know what to think!

Tomorrow night for example is his birthday...and he and his friends have decided to go out. I was only asked by him after I rang up and asked what he was at tomorrow. I was asked as an afterthought.

I love him and I know he loves me...but I'm starting to feel perhaps I love him more than he does me. I really want more out of this relationship, but I don't know what to do. Help!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would sit down with him and actually talk about it. I know he gets grumpy, maybe he is not ready and that is what is holding him back? I know the feeling, I am turning 22 next month and a bunch of my friends are getting married, engaged, or have kids. I have yet to have a long term relationship that has gotten anywhere. Not from lack of interest in having one, but just because the right person hasn't come along. It's frustrating. Spending all your time and effort on a relationship only for it to fall through and for you to get disappointed and wonder when your time is coming.

    Hang in there. After talking, see how he reacts. Tell him what you want to see happen in the future. And ask where he sees you two. If he doesn't see a future, then its time to move on. Find someone who does see a future with you. Someone who is willing to work on the relationship just as you are. Don't waste too much of your time with this guy if he isn't seeing the future. You need to be honest with him. You two have been together for 5 years, over 5 years. It's seems as though you have been hanging in there and trying to make it work. And I think you deserve an honest answer from him. Things should move along eventually. If he is not ready now, then if maybe he is ready in a few years, that would be worth sticking through. But if he says he doesn't want to get married for a long time, 10+ years. And doesn't seem to really know what he wants, then maybe it's time to just cut your loses and hope to find someone who is willing to put a ring on it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • keep him meanwhile, but also examine other possibilities...you might be wasting your time a non-sense relationship, but that's not bad either, depends on what you want..

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    • sort of a no win situation isn't it? He goes through good spells and bad spells...this is bad one. I may hold out...

What Girls Said 0

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