I got engaged back in late July of this year. My fiancee goes to college in another town, almost 3 hours away. It's her second year now so we have been able to deal with being apart from each other pretty well so far. About a month ago hanging out with a male classmate after school and some weekends when I am not visiting her. Now she says they are dating but its really just good friends. My first reaction was that this was cheating.She said she needs the friendship because doesn't have many friends there and I'm not there to talk to her all the time. She says she has set certain rules out like no kissing and sex etc. She recently said that this guy really likes her and that she does like him too, and that they have a lot more in common than her and I do. I'm not really worried about losing her to him because, I feel we have been through the ups and downs together and we usually have a very stable relationship. Lately she has been talking about him a lot and it makes me uncomfortable because I know that I shoulod be the number one man in her life. When I talk to her about what she wants in life and who she wants to be with, she always says its me that she loves and wants share her life with. I still love her and really want to be with her but I feel she will make a mistake that I can't forgive if she lets this go too far. What am I supposed to do in this situation?
Most Helpful Girl
FIRST OFF. That IS cheating sweeti.
She seems like the girl who needs constant physical attention.
Her talking about another GUY she LIKES to you? C'mon! How blind are you?
"Oh I don't have many friends and I need this." So why not get some GIRL friends. I'm sure they'll have TONS in common.
No kissing and no sex? Dude. she shouldn't have even said that.
Honestly do you think she would be ok with you seeing a girl constantly and dating? She would flip.
Her telling you that she stills want to be with you and that you are the one. Can mean multiple things. ONE she really does loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you but not right now and her seeing other people is her window into what she's missing out on while she's with you. She gets to keep you in her pockett so no other girls can see you but since you're hidden, it's perfect. Other guys can come and see her. You're too blind to see what really is going on.
TWO she's using you as a security blanket, "HEY if things don't work out with this guy, I always have my back up. tehe" yeaaahhh. that's bullshit dude.
Don't let her treat you like that. You need to make it clear that what she is doing is completely unacceptable in a relationship of how long? OH WAIT. ENGAGED! not even a girlfriend. your f***ing wife to be is seeing other men. WOW.
You need to sit down and talk to her about this. Explain how you see this situation and how it makes you feel. I suggest letting her talk first and asking her what she really wants.
"Look I know you love me but I want to know how serious you take our engagement. I know it's hard because we're so far apart and I can't always be there for you but you seeing other guys when I'm not there really bothers me. Honestly [ her name here] it really hurts and I'm so mad that you would even do this and think it is ok. How would you feel if I was dating other girls when I wasn't with you? How would you feel if I told you I had feelings for another girl?"
I'm sure you can add on.
NO! NO! NO! she's f***ing up and you're letting her get away with it.