Why is divorce so common nowadays?

Why is divorce so common nowadays?

Have men and women lost sight of what the point of marriage is or do people give up too easily or do men and women just cheat too easily?

Is it financial? Or infidelity? Just too lazy to put any effort? Lack of communication? Or what?

I mean, I know why my parents got divorced but that's irrelevant and only 1 story.

Marriage seems so pointless nowadays :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The main reason, in my opinion, is that couples fail to see the point of marriage, after they get married. They find out that it's not as bonding as they were told. People have higher expectations when it comes to marriage, because of the beautiful image that the society planted in our minds, since childhood. After a few years of being married, you'll feel as if you are trapped now & you can't simply leave anymore. You realize that your marriage hasn't been a garden of roses and start questioning why did you ever get married, in the first place.

    Another reason could be the stereotypical idea about marriage. A friend of mine recently got married, and when I saw him after two months, I asked him how's his marriage going! (innocent question), he started blabbering the same sh*t my father (and most men) used to say about it (It's a big responsibility, it's too much work, it's the biggest mistake, etc...). Other men had spoon-fed him that bullsh*t, when he was a child, and he's just repeating things that he's heard before, claiming that these are his own thoughts.

    I personally don't see the point in getting married. Especially, nowadays, since you can have a prenuptial agreement & you can get a divorce easily. My parents aren't divorced, but they wasted their lives yelling at each other and complaining about each others' behavior. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them was unfaithful to the other. I feel sick imagining that I might wind up in that position, one day. Financial issues, lack of communication, and unwillingness to work things out are just a bunch of overused excuses, and I doubt they're the real reason behind 90% of the divorces.

    :)

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What Guys Said 12

  • Because so many people nowadays marry way to soon. How many stories haven't you heard of people being together for a measly 6 months and marrying? It's because people can't tell the infatuation from being in love from actually truly loving someone. You shouldn't be thinking about marriage before at least two years into a relationship.

    And the other reason is that monogamy isn't natural. So many people are trying to, but in a society were sex isn't a taboo anymore it's harder to supress our nature. And lastly because marriage isn't considered a holy institution anymore (not that it ever really was so anyway.)

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  • I think the values and moral reasoning of getting married has changed drastically in modern cultures. I think years ago, moral standards were higher, and people were brought up properly. Nowadays people see all these fancy shows about weddings and crap and they buy into this idealistic 'fairytale' image of the wedding itself, rather than not thinking of the long term commitment involved. Getting a divorce nowadays is like ordering up some food, I know where I live, getting a divorce is still really frowned upon, and I'm glad it's that way, as is abortion but that's another matter entirely. People today also have hectic lifestyles, going out often, socializing at bars and stuff... it's easy to get caught up in an affair I think. Old Ireland was a place where marriage and family were above all, when you married, that was it, you stayed like that until one of you died. My ma and da have separated, but their technically still married and all but the relationship just didn't work out. I don't think my answer can shed any light on marriage, there really is a lot of other factors involved, but I think I hit a good point with values of today and those of say 50 or 60 years ago. Have a nice day :)

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  • i agree completely.

    i feel like the only reason divorce rates are not higher is because people marry later in life so by the time they want a divorce they are old and have fewer options... so they're like f*** it I'll just stick it out

    i talk to many older married men in my unit... (I am a military officer) and they always tell me the same thing... all of them... that if they knew what they knew now, they would NEVER have gotten married...

    marriage went from, in my opinion, some meaningful and emotional significant special bond to being something you do at a certain point in your life... hell marriage conjures up imagines of boredom with a used up party slut in my head

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  • marriage is just an outdated idea our notion of what a relationship is needs to change, I think marriage should only be for starting a family

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    • women file 70% of divorces stating money as the reason, women can gain a lot from divorce men can loose a lot, now that feminist lobbied for the no fault divorce women can get out of a divoce as easy as they got into the marriage a man is less likely to divorce because he has a lot more to loose even if the women was cheating on him he would still loose because of the no fault divorce unless they have a pre-nup

    • less and less people are even getting married anymore I personally think its an outdated idea, but I still want to get married and have a family so I need a women with an outdated mindset

  • I for one welcome this change wholeheartedly. I never quite saw the point of marriage myself.

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  • Some people rush head-first into marriage without thinking about whether or not the person is right for them. Some aren't cut out for it, ready for it, or any responsibility that comes with it. Marriage is meaningful even in today's society, but like what you said, divorce is all to common. But sometimes, and unfortunately, it's the easy way out for some people. But the reason behind it can be for any number of reasons.

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  • Hmmm I think it's because people rush into things without realizing the sacrifice and dedication it takes to be with another person your WHOLE life. These decisions aren't to be taken lightly... You can't just have love and run with it.. it's also a business partnership... one that you should stick with through thick and thin.

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  • I think it's a mix of all those things you said. Marriage is not pointless. My parents are still happily married.

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    • IMO marriage is pointless. Other than financial benefits I see walking down the aisle as useless and signing a piece of paper as useless

    • It's showing everyone that you are in love and plan to spend the rest of your life with someone. People rush into marriage because they are in "love". I think it's more of lust at first, and once that wears off people cheat and lie. Sad really.

  • I think a lot of people rush into marriage too soon. Other people ignore red flags with their partners and get married anyway, only to be divorced within a year.

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  • Marriage has only been around for a few thousand years. Maybe they get divorced because they don't want to stay married?

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  • cause retards rush into marriage and then realize they aren't right for each other.

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  • Divorce is common because win you get marry,ed some time after some year people grow a part and start to fight over things the big one is money. The next one is because one of them cheated on they. The next one is because stay at home moms what more out off they live than just to stay home and razes the children the kids are older and don,t need to be look after as much as they did win they wear little. This is the main razzing for divorce this day and they are lots more then the thing then I stared for people getting divorce this days.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I think the main difference is that we're all raised to be so independent; we're so comfortable with ourselves and we're often easily offended. Everyone wants to be the "head" of the household, couples fight for authority, as a society America has awful communication skills and we're all a little selfish.

    The smallest things are deal breakers for some. I just feel like so many people get into relationships because it's convenient at the time. We're always in a rush to find someone and we put so much time and effort into FINDING a relationship, but not enough in keeping it for the long term.

    With the new age, we want instant resolutions to problems. When we don't see it, if we don't get our way, we almost refuse to compromise.

    Another issue is money, time, career, and children.

    And my parents aren't divorced, but they REALLY really should be.

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  • I can't answer your question, but what I can tell you is that the divorce rate is not actually higher now (significantly, anyway) than it was in the past. Many couples had their marriages annulled, divorced off the record (back when it was illegal in some states), or just plain old separated. So if you see marriage as pointless nowadays, I can tell you it's been about equally as pointless throughout American history.

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    • I see is as pointless period, just moreso now. I see no benefit in the past or currently, it just so happens I can only really judge based off of today and not the 1940's or 1700's

    • Some people see a point to it, others don't. It depends on what kind of person you are. I like the idea of spending my whole life with one person, doing everything together, raising kids together. I don't know, sounds picturesque to me.

  • Well my grandparents have been together since they were in high school, and still are together. I asked them why they were still married , like as in how did they stay together for so long? (because they got married after their senior year. So its been 43 years. And I said, lots of people divorce or get hurt nowadays, so what do you think is going on? And my grandmother told me that love was actually love back then, and nowadays, people are loving one another for looks instead of for what kind of person their other half is. She said that in her day & age ( LOL so old) that no one dated like people do now. No one just slept with people for their own good, she told me that back then, they didn't even know what sex was, but now that those things are more common, that's what people look for, that sexual appeal, but back then they didn't have a clue what that was. So their love for one another was real, and now that today in society, everything is portrayed as being about the hot girl or the hot guy, and sex and all. So I think she's right, no one loves one another truthfully nowadays, because they know these certains distractions that draw them in and make them fall for the wrong thing, just because either they are sexy, or he has nice eyes. No one really looked at that back then, it was always about the kind of person they are. Not what they look like. So thereeee ya go :)

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  • It is just more socially accepted. People used to get married early and then just deal with each other.

    This may sound stupid, but I think that "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee really broke divorce into the mainstream.

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  • Men and women don't need each other to survive anymore. What is the point of marriage -- that is a better question?

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    • to raise a family and make sure both parties are protected by laws when one takes time off of work to raise the kids

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    • I see it as more of a religious sacrament to those who worship in that matter. Personally, I don't think men and women are suited as domestic partners in the modern era.

    • Maybe for the children? Who knows if marriage is necessary, it may be a good form of communication like other things we do.

  • Someetimes love just isn't enough. When you get married you end up dealing with all these things that you didn't have to worry about when you were just dating.

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  • I think that some people still believe in the institution of marriage (I know I do) and what it stands for, but they don't want to fight for it. Too many people rush into marriage to begin with without really knowing their partner and their needs, and then the rest or a good majority aren't communicating and seeking help from the outside when they need it.

    Divorce is all too common and I blame it on a lack of communication. I know my parents could've made it had they actually worked through their issues and now they're both marrying partners who are completely terrible.

    Family and marriage counselors could help strengthen so many relationships if people would only give it a chance. It would get couples talking instead of having the same fight over and over again and expecting anything to change.

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    • "think that some people still believe in the institution of marriage (I know I do) and what it stands for, but they don't want to fight for it."

      Agreed. They want the good, but not the bad.

    • Yeah, I think a lot of it comes from unhealthy individuals getting married in the first place and then carrying their issues into their partnership. People don't realize what's important in a marriage.

    • Hear hear. Well said, Tia.

  • People live too long now to realistically stick with one spouse until they die. Furthermore, cars and the internet have increased the temptation to go astray. Not to mention, the women's sexual revolution has made extramarital sex easier to come by for men, so there is less of an incentive for them to pursue marriage.

    As for other reasons, hard for me to say, as I've never been married. Although, I suspect that people don't know what they're getting into when they say "I do". You learn a lot about a person by living with them than you did when you two were just dating.

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    • Your allusion to the pickup/fling culture sticks out to me as an important one. Sure anyone can have sex freely anymore, but that also could be used as the counter argument at the same time. I don't care what people do, but if people expect monogamy then they must live it and not just say/think it.

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