He never wants to get married?

I'm 27 and my boyfriend of almost a year is 30. The other night he when we were out with friends he made a comment that he doesn't believe in marriage because almost all of them end up in divorce. I do not feel the same way. I want to have a family one day and the only way I am having kids is if I am married first. I'm not saying I want to get married right now or even a year from now. But to me that almost seems the point of why you are with someone especially as you get older. You think about marrying them. Am I wrong? Should I talk to him about this? I don't want to freak him out so how do I go about it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some guys don't believe in marriage.

    It's that simple.

    They can believe in love, monogamy, having kids, and staying together for life. But marriage is an antiquated concept.

    If marriage didn't exist, would you see the need to invent it? Would you, around year 3 in your relationship say "Honey? This thing we've got going is awesome. But do you know what it's missing? Government intervention, and approval. We should totally get the government involved in this thing we've got going. Oh, and lawyers! Can't be a happy couple without getting some lawyers involved too!"

    You definitely need to talk to him about this. Because if neither one of you is going to budge on this, then the relationship should end now.

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    • interesting concept, but marriage isn't about goverment approval, in my opinion. It's about letting someone know that you are committing to them and only them. You are ready and willing to build your life around them; the ultimate sacrafice. Marriage solidifies and finalizes that idea. To not get married implies you may plan on leaving for someone else. Marriage is about heart, not head. I don't know why people always try to make it seem like marriage is all about government , lawyers, and ect.

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    • You truly expect for either one of them to just give up the things they're used to living with for years and start anew? Most people can't afford that. Even if they wanted to, financially, it's unrealistic. So don't view it as some monsterous women trying to get his things. Logically, it makes sense that she would want some of the things she's used to living with. ugh 'Intellectuals' who try to make marriage about government are so annoying acting like that's all it's about. Have some heart!

    • Look, all your whining about the situation doesn't change the basic answer as to why some men don't want to get married. You don't have to convince me. (You never could anyway.) So why try?

      The realistic assessment is that divorce happens, and not every woman is willing to sign a cast-iron pre-nup and divorce courts are heavily slanted in favour of the wife. Good luck to the poor guy who gets called an absent father because he worked 90 hours a week to pay for the house he no longer owns.

What Guys Said 4

  • In the USA, the divorce rate is just under 50%. You're quite right, though; the two of you need to agree on where the relationship is headed. If you feel very strongly about getting married and he feels very strongly about NOT getting married, that will become a deal-breaker over time. You need to have a chat with him and see if he meant what he said, or if he was just spouting off some random thought that didn't necessarily reflect how he really feels.

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  • Of course you should talk to him about it. If he still insists on not getting married, then it may be time for you two to split.

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  • Well if he is serious about his comment, then you will have to reconsider if its worth spending anymore time in the relationship.

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  • You sound a bit selfish your not thinking about what he wants and only about yourself. Your boyfriend has made it clear that he doesn't want marriage because he's seen divorce. Do you know how serious marriage is? Are you even religious? Do you truly understand how high the divorce rates are and how devastating divorce is?

    Why can't you just love him for who he is instead of trying to screw him over by forcing him to sign away his life, assets and children over to you?

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    • Here's more on gag about people who don't want to get married link

What Girls Said 2

  • Whatever you do, don't pressure him into it or give him an ultimatum because then even if he does marry you, he'll probably cheat on you or look back and realize he wasn't ready and have some resentment towards you for cutting his freedom off in a way earlier than it could have been. I do think you are being a bit selfish and only considering your feelings.

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  • He is just being a drama Queen.

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