Posting this on a close friend’s behalf, here goes the story …
‘I belong to a community were arranged marriage is quite popular. My parents wanted to know when I d settle down and probably get committed. I had never had answers for them and then one day my mom asked me if I was seeing someone. I am good friends with my parents, so I didn’t mind that question. I told them I wasn’t and then she didn’t take a split second to say she had someone in mind and that I should join her to a family friend’s dinner later that night. I didn’t want to show complete disrespect to her that’s why I went for it. I had a plan to say no, on my way back. But things didn’t go to plan. The girl wasn’t there, although her father (also an accountant) had a good chat with me.
On my way back, I told mom I wouldn’t want to do things this way. She convinced me that the least I could do is to give it one more shot, rather than plainly say no. 2 weeks after, on Saturday, when I reached back home, I was told a few guest were to arrive and my father asked me to stay home as his guests would want some help with their business. When the guests came, to my surprise, they were the people my mom wanted me to meet. This time ‘the girl’ accompanied her parents, I am sure she wasn’t aware of the reason to visit us. We all had a word with each other. At times I felt as If I was interviewed by her father. The problem is, although I never wanted arranged marriage, but I instantly hit a chord with her. She is intelligent, refreshingly polite, likes to have a laugh, lively, a good listener, confident, well educated, well mannered and stunning to look at. By the end of that meeting I could easily say, had I meet her somewhere else I would have definitely asked her out.
Easy to say that things are on the plate for me, because there is a problem. She told me she was doing her bachelors at a certain college. I have friends there and she knew them well. The next week I called one of them up and told him that my parents were in for a set up, the whole story. He asked a combined friend and she told him she was the liberal kind who wouldn’t want arranged marriage either. He invited me over to a weekend football match day party, where she was invited as well. We meet again and this time had a longer conversation. I have developed a liking for her. I wish I had meet her somewhere else, because I don’t know if I should ask her out or just be a spectator to the arrangement under process. If I do ask her out, with the way we meet, would it not be weird. I haven’t meet or spoke to person who knows her and doesn’t speak very well of her. I don’t even know if she knows what her parents have in mind. My mother has asked me repeatedly if I liked her and she would ask the girl’s parents for an engagement as soon as I give in a positive response. There is every chance she might not like me, or at least the idea of an arranged marriage. I want her to know me better and then decide without influence. I am clue
Thank you all for your advice. just wanted to let you know, that thisngs went well and now we are getting married this October :D ..
She is perfect for me ..
Most Helpful Girl
I come from a family just like that. I mixed so on one side, its OK to date and the other side, its not. So at times I feel like I'm stuck between a rock. I thnk because of the fact that the both of you feel the same way with arranged marriage you should just agree and set up the engagement. I don't know how your family does things but in our family depending on how you feel about the person, the marriage can come quickly after or it can take a couple years. I think because of the fact you come from a family that is like this you should agree to become engaged because of the fact you are interest in her and she probably feels the same. After you guys are engaged this will give ya'll time to get to know each other, hang out, etc. After a short period of time, seriously you know whether or not you want to be with her. Because the girl seems to feel the same way about arranged marriage as you do, she might agree to the engagement just because of the fact in your culture its more properly acceptable. You know if it doesn't work out tell your parents you guys don't seem to think it would work, she gives the ring back and on to the next.0