Ladies, does your man have to marry you in order for you to have kids with him?

if this question sounds familiar is because I already asked it last night but forgot to put a poll. so here it goes...

i wanna have kids but I do not want to get marry, because I believe marriage is insanity and every human deserves their own space and freedom. so I wanna know how many women are willing to have children without getting marry and the once that see marriage as a requirement.

  • Yes
    88% (30)36% (4)76% (34)Vote
  • No
    12% (4)64% (7)24% (11)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
is funny how much people are blinded by marriage! shm

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Absolutely. I will not have children without being married first. Not because of any religious beliefs or anything like that, but because I want to be sure that my children will have a solid, secure environment to grow up in, with loving parents who are DEVOTED to each other. My goal in life is not simply to reproduce, so children can wait until I am married. Marriage should not be a constricting thing where your freedom is taken away. In a good marriage, the two people DO respect the others' space and freedom, to the extent that they are still faithful and devoted to each other. I don't understand what's constricting about it, and if someone is in the mindset that marriage is constricting, they certainly should not have kids, because kids are DEFINITELY a constriction, much more so than marriage if you're with the right person. Having kids is huge and I would not be able to do it on my own. So, I would need the security of knowing that my partner is committed to my well-being (demonstrated by marriage) and will stick with me in raising the children. Not to mention modeling a healthy relationship for the kids

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    • you actually think MARRIAGE is gona do all this for u? cause I think it will do the opposite of everything your wishing for. and not to ruin your hopes but I seen it happen a lot.

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    • lol I think it's funny that you keep capitalizing it, like its a curse word or something. Besides, it's not a life commitment if things go south. I mentioned my parents have the relationship that I just described - they were also married once before, divorced, and then married each other. It's not a death sentence and if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out. But at least you gave it a shot. It just makes people try more to save a relationship, it's not the final verdict. No force involved :)

    • like I said. not everybody is lucky and your parents I guess where, but that's one thing I do not want to try it cause I suffer from depression and if I go through that CURSE ill probably end up committing suicide or something... and casanova once said "marriage is the tomb of love" and there's a lot of old quotes that criticizes marriage

What Girls Said 18

  • Yes, my boyfriend would have to marry me in order to have kids. It's too easy for the guy to leave if he has no commitment to me, kids aren't enough of a commitment. I have seen some guys who once they get you pregnant they leave. Because it's not what they thought it was going to be like or it's too hard. Not to knock just some guys, there are some women who do that too. They get into a relationship, have kids, and then feel trapped so they leave. It goes both ways. I am committed to my boyfriend, but I want to know that he is committed to me as well.

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  • Yes, because I do not want my kids to have to deal with what I had to deal with then my paretns were never married and my mother was never in my life. It is hard for kids to go through that

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    • i don't think your parents being "married" had anything to do with... sry if I sound rude

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    • cause I know people whos parents were married and have had a worst fate then yours... anyways I'm really sorry that life had to hit you this hard.

    • It didn't hit me hard really. I am glad I don't know her. I just think sometimes, if I had a mother, I would have had easier relationships and stuff...

  • Women want marriage as a promise and stability. For most, marriage is because two people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. If you want to have kids but don't want to be married, you're going to have a real tough time finding a woman who's willing to do that. After all, it is the woman is stuck bearing the child, not you. OR just adopt.

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  • I want to be married in order to have kids! Also I'm getting married once! I know what want in life and people who get married really don't know what they want they feel that they have to do it! Or there trapped and that's away out! Also sometimes there to young to know what they want or never really lived! So many factors! All and all I'm getting married and then kids!

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  • Maybe.

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  • Yes I'm not trying to be a baby mama. This is why family values are going down the toilet now because so many people don't see the importance of providing a stable committed environment for their child. How selfish

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  • Yes. I grew up without my dad. My parents were never married. I know being married won't guarantee that the father will stick around...but it at least increases the chances. I'm very traditional as well

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    • it will... but it could be worst cause marriage might turn him violent, then your probably gona wish he was gone

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    • exactly! so because it could happen to anybody at anytime it can also happen in MARRIAGE, marriage doesn't safe you from anything. in marriage is more stressful because you can't just kick his ass out of the house, you have to filed divorce, he has to first accepted, etc and that's a big pain in the ass!

    • and yes! marriage does turn people violent because I witnessed it before and it makes perfect sense. you practically being handcuffed to that person 24/7, and you worked so damn hard to buy a car, house, etc yet in the end what you worked hard for is not even yours because "everything that's yours is also his" and if he could find a good excuse to take that from u, he automatically will!

  • Oh I agree with your ideas on marriage. I'm rather not keen on the prospect of children either, not appealing in the slightest. Marriage, children, house, boring jobs, debt urhhh pass on that plan. However I'm all for sex before marriage.

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  • You can get married and still have space and freedom. I probably won't ever have kids, but if I do I'd want to be married first. Raising kids is a big responsibility and it takes a strong commitment to be a proper parent. So if a guy can't even commit to being with me before he can commit to having kids, then it's probably not a good idea to raise kids with him.

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  • Yes. I'm not having any kids with anybody unless we're married.

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  • no. I don't plan on mariage. I don't see the point. if you love someone, you love them. there it is. & no I would have a kid regardless.

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  • I would prefer that but if I really wanted a child then I won't get married but before hand I don't want to have an "Oops" baby - I would never abort it but I would do a closed adoption if I was not fit to take care of the baby.

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  • Personally, yes. I want to get married so it only makes sense to wait until then to have kids.

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    • I don't think I'm blinded. I see nothing wrong with NOT getting married or with having children without getting married. But considering that I do personally wish to marry, it seems logical to wait to have children until I do. I wouldn't feel ready for kids before the time when I would feel ready for marriage.

    • i wasn't talking about having kids NOW this instant. obviously you gotta be ready to have children, but I was just asking if marriage is really that important which to me is not, but I see it as insanity because from my experience is not what is cracked up to be. and people have a hard time analyzing that.

    • Well, like I said, I do want to get married... that's just how I personally feel. So to me it makes sense to wait for that to have kids.

  • I say "yes" now, but who knows.

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  • I don't intend to get married, call me cynical, so for me it wouldn't be a necessity.

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    • lmao... I will never call you cynical, but I do call you SMART!

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    • cause people (as you can see below) are blinded by marriage and don't want to accept the insanity that comes along with marriage

    • ahh true. basically, I just don't trust people.

  • Yes. I want my kids to be in a stable relationship!

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    • can you please explain how marriage keeps a relationship "stable"?

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    • Whatever

    • Whatever.

  • yes. I won't have kids any other way. it's not being responsible

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    • hows is him marrying you making him responsible? a**holes get marry too you know?

  • I'm not married and have been with my boyfriend for 14 years and we have 3 kids...but I have bad news for you, married or not, when you have kids, space and freedom take a while to get back. Commitment is key call it marriage or not, to be in a relationship that works you need family time, couple time and time for yourself.

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    • well that's the grace/fun of it... being with some1 because you love him/her, not because you HAVE to be with him/her. like "marriage" puts it down as

    • I agree

What Guys Said 4

  • lol I'm sure they will all say yes but reality is single parents are the new family

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  • Shit, My race never seems to do it.

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  • intersting question...

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  • the kids need a dad

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    • u don't have to be married to be a dad

    • then he's just another irresponsible dad

    • irresponsible dads get married too you know. alcoholics, drug addicts, drug dealers, thieves, liars, etc; they get married too you know

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