Do you take sides in a divorce?

Lots of divorces these days...but do you stay neutral or do you pick sides?

  • Yes I side with, or tend to side with, one party
    Vote A
  • Note sure/See results
    Vote B
  • No I generally or always stay neutral
    Vote C
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Updates:
Not saying I know all of the answers...and I am always aware that there can be exceptions..but my policy is generally one of neutrality. Taking sides with Party A does not significantly help that party...it is more than possible to give mental & emotional support without siding against Party B. On the other hand, siding against Party B will immediately alienate them and cause you to lose all credibility with them. Sure...with violence etc the scenario changes..Thanx to eveyone for responding

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am neutral. I think there's two sides to a story, and it's none of my business anyway. Unless someone was being abused.

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    • Was a tough call..lots of good answers...but I feel this one wins by a whisker hair...(:

    • I've always said there are three sides: his, hers and the truth. His and hers are biased because egos are bruised, but the truth always comes out sooner or later.

    • Maybe we should consider this, can we find the truth every time?

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What Girls Said 24

  • I may have my own personal opinion about a divorce between two people I know well, but honestly, I think treating divorce as a matter of who is right or wrong is a big mistake.

    I have been divorced and I have been through relationship break-ups. Though our arguments and differences may have felt like a you-are-wrong, I-am-right deal, they weren't. They were about two people that just were not able to put the relationship before our own individual needs. Most people struggle with that. Marriage is great until it conflicts with our personal needs and then all of a sudden we need to assert ourselves with our partner and make them the enemy. The next level after that is all the things people do to stick it to the "enemy". After that stuff starts happening, especially if both sides are pushing back at each other it becomes a big blur as to what is really going on.

    My marriage broke up because my ex-husband simply was unable to even consider how I felt or empathize with me. If he could have, he would have been able to understand what I was asking for and possibly tried to deliver it. But, he couldn't even get that far. All he could do was tell me what he wanted and how he felt. After 13 years I couldn't take it anymore.

    So, I may be more supportive or understanding of one person than the other, but there are not sides in a divorce, there is simply a broken relationship between two people that is so bad that one of them can no longer stay together.

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  • As sad, narrow-minded and incorrect as it sounds, I pick sides :P It's a fault of my human condition. Actually my friend broke her engagement to my other friend. At first I took sides, because the girl was being stupid, like there were some things that happened that she shouldn't have done. And she's just being kinda dumb. But I get that if you don't love someone or if the feelings are gone, it should just end. Where it came from was I knew the fiancee for a long time like 10+ years, and this girl made up some dumb lies about her fiancee. I get people get mad, but it was crossing the line.

    Anyway I picked sides, I thought she was being dumb about it so I was kinda mad at her :P I'm over it now pretty much. I realize people do immature things, and she is only 19. Plus I have only known her for 2 years, and also I don't know the whole story.

    I try to stay neutral, but it's hard when you have known someone for so many years, and then someone starts talking smack about them. But ya, I try to stay neutral as best I can. Take a step back, I also try to not get into people's affairs too much.

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  • There are always two sides to a story, most of the time both are in the wrong. there are exceptions like if it's an abusive relationship, or if s/he is cheating on you. If that's the case than I usually side with the person who's bee cheated on or abused!

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  • I would stay neutral because there is always two sides to every story. My parents got divorced when I was younger and people where expecting me to be mad and take sides. My mom divorced my dad but I new she had good reason so I could not be mad at her but I did not take her side because I understood why he did the things he did. So staying out of it and staying neutral I think is the best thing because to me it takes two people to break up. they both have to be unwilling to work on it other wise they would work it out.

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  • Neutral

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  • Whoa! Good question. That depends on the marriage and how well I know both parties involved. I try really hard not to take sides because those people I'm talking about have usually shared dinners, vacations and other fun events with me and my mate. But in the end, one of them is my friend who I keep in touch with and the other one hooks up with someone I don't know. So we naturally drift apart.

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    • Well...but drifting apart isn't really the same as taking sides...is it?

  • I stay neutral unless one person has given me a reason to take sides. My friend and his wife are talking about getting a divorce and the wife has been nothing but a rude b**** to me from the beginning. She has absolutely no reason to be like this to me or his family. She is like this to his family too. I have known him since we were kids and I love his family too so I will obviously take his side. If they decide to stay together I will support that decision too. Usually, I stay neutral though because usually both are friends and what kind of friend would I be if I took a side in something that is none of my business.

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  • It's tricky.

    Depends on the situation . But I would try and stay friends with whoever I am closest too or was originally friends with. friends as/with a couple is a bit weird anyway. like if you make a friend from your partner's friend there is always that idea that when you lose your partner you will most probably lose that friend.

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  • I always side against my mother...

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  • Depends on the situation like why it happened or whos fault really.I usually try the best to be fair,regardless gender and who is that person.

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  • No matter how close both sides are to me I'd stay neutral, because even tho they got divorced they are the same as when we first met.. they haven't changed the only thing that changed is their raltionship. but I also think that its natural that in time a person automatically stay in touch with one side not because the person chose or anything its just that they talk more or they needed you more ..

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  • Nope right is right and wrong is wrong. No one is completely to either side ever... I show no bias or favoritism at all what so ever. I love my sis to death, but if she's in a situation and she is in the wrong I tell her so...

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  • since I have never been in that position I don't actually know but id like to think that I would stay neutral

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  • I guess we tend to stay as neutral as possible, but sometimes it's unavoidable to takes sides e.g if someone cheated/had an affaire or something like that!)

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  • It depends on the situation. If I truly feel that one side is "right" for whatever reason, I would side with them. But I would always try to be objective.

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  • I have never been entangled with in a divorce so I would say nuetral.

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  • it's not really the smart or right tihng to do, but I usually take sides with everything in life, because I usually believe that someone is at fault. most of the time there's not.

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  • if one is surely right and the other wrong, then yeah I would take the side which was right

    but other than that probably just neutral

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  • when your parents are divorced it sucks you think your over it but then you realize how much of an negative impact it has had on you . I remeber when I found out and it wasn't pretty I was in the third grade it still haunts me how vividly I can remmeber it.im now a sophmer in high school

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    • yeah that would be rough...my family held together..but..O:O pretty touch and go...hope things go better for you..(:

    • yeah thx. I'm counting the days till I move out and go out of state for college... want to go away from all the drama

    • things should be better for sure! But, trying to escape from your family can be a challenge...and some take their problems (not saying you) with them... (:

  • I know for sure I'm closer with my dad more then my mom but it doesn't mean I love one more then the other. I know for sure they would never get a divorce because they love each other very much but in a divorce situation I guess it would depend on the situation, though hopefully I wouldn't.

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  • Never pick a side, be supportive and listen.

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  • i pick sides. I usually side with the person I'm closest too. wrong or not

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  • if I know the couple personally I would see right and wrong through them and lean towards one party but if I don't know the couple then id stay neutral.

    for example I know this woman in my extended family whos been married for like 8 years they were in love so happy etc and then a few years later she fell in love with another guy who was her best friend's husband, she was infatuated with him and obsessed and was being a homewrecker she was ruining 4 peoples lives and ugh I just hated her and knew she was the culprit

    another example as you may have heard the kim kardashian divorce I don't know her and kris humphries personally but just by watching the show and the wedding special id say theyre both f***ed up and dumb and retarded and I'm just neutral about it because both are wrong and right in some sense.

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  • depends on who I know more.

    If I know the girl more then I know the boy, I will side with the girl.

    For example, if the girl says the boy was controlling and also he was still into his ex. Then the boy says that the girl forced him into the relationship and he wasn't even ready to be in a relationship then I'd believe the girl more.

    A real divorce is my brother in laws. I don't know the girl and I only know the boy and the boy's family so ofcourse I will side with the boy. The boy and his family said the girl faked police calls saying the boy was on drugs and beat her up. The boy&his family also said the girl didn't work at all and refused to do housework while the boy had to take care of the two little toddlers and do housework and go to school and work two jobs. In this case I would have to take the boy's side. I've never heard the girl's side of the story at all. I can't really take her side then. But they are divorced now.

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What Guys Said 13

  • When I was a kid, my mother was planning to divorce my father when he came back from the Iraq war. My sister and I met in private in my room and we both sided with our father. We looked up divorce laws online to see who could go with what parent in our state and found out we had a choice.

    We both wanted to go with our father, but decided I'd go with our mother to try to mask our favoritism in the matter. Don't ask, kid logic. Well, our mother was eavesdropping on us and heard everything. She was so upset that she called off the divorce plans and was in tears for days.

    Our mother made our lives miserable when we were kids, which is why we sided with our father. Now, she's a different person. I'm glad my parents stuck together, but I'm not necessarily proud of the circumstances. To this day, our father doesn't have a clue about any of the divorce plans.

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  • If I know one or both people involved and if I know all the facts, then I may take sides. If not, I'm more likely to be neutral.

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  • me, I never care as long as is not between me which like I said is NEVER cause I'm never getting married

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  • I try to stay neutral unless it's like an obvious reason such as abuse or something like that.

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    • That's awesome how the chick that got best answer answered almost exactly like me not vice versa but she gets three thumbs up and BA and I get nothing. Oh how I love biased people. :)

  • Neutral mostly .

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  • i rember my divorice from my and how hard it was know when I know some one that is going through one I stay the he11 away

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  • neutral but it depends if one side cheated or etc ill slide with the other side/party

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  • I try to stay out of it completely - no need for someone else's drama in my life.

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  • I took my father's side.

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  • Not my business

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  • As a guy who study law, I'm neutral

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  • neutral, there's no need to pick sides and burn bridges.

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  • I learned to stick with my gender. Women in divorces have the upper hand and tend to lie through their teeths and play the victim even when they are despicable bitches. So I side with guys mostly.

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    • Almost everybody on GAG lives in Switzerland apparently

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