Would you ever take your wife's surname?

why / why not?

Besides tradition (which is not acceptable unless you're celibate until marriage, because if you're not, then tradition mustn't be that important to you)

Would you hyphenate both names?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't see the point, it's just a name

    I'd just expect her to take my name out of tradition

    but I'd take take hers if she really wanted me to

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    • oh that's sweet that you'd actually consider taking hers.

What Guys Said 7

  • No, social norms being the reason. It's expected that the woman will take the last name of the man. I could give a damn what my last name is, and I would hope that's the same attitude as my partner. If she felt it was a big deal, I'd probably be a little inclined to question the kind of person I'm with. Who would make such a big deal out of it that they're willing to go against the social norm, put up a fuss about it, and want to hyphenate? It's not a big deal, and if the person is making it out to be, it would worry me a little bit.

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    • 100 years ago being gay was not the social norm, that fell through so why not this?

      I'd be concerned about a guy who doesn't care what his last name is, it very much contributes to your identity.

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    • hmm okay, that's your view, thank you for sharing it.

    • Yep. This is all hypothetical of course, in reality there's no way I'm getting married, so its a non-issue. We both get to keep our last names, if one of us decides we want out, no nasty divorce. Marriage is obsolete.

  • Hell yeah, if her last name was cooler. Tradition doesn't mean much to me so letting my last name go isn't anything more than an amusement for me. Kind of like Jack White from The White Stripes lol

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  • No. Same reason what Dre said. Also I'm not a pure traditionalist, this is one thing that's traditional that I would keep. I don't play that reverse s**t.

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  • Haven't you ever seen hot tub time machine?

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  • I like the idea of passing down my last name :D

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  • I'm curious as to which culture would expect a man to take the woman's name. Can you elaborate as to why you would want to do this, or are you just trying to be provocative? I would think in most men's minds it would violate culture and be a little emasculating... Personally I like my last name. I'm going to keep it. I would hope my wife would want to take my name, but I suppose I would understand if she wanted to hyphenate her name.

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    • I'm not specific about a culture but possibly European or American, Australian.

      I won't be changing my name because my name has a lot of certified history behind it, back to the 1800's and I am a female among a female sibling and female cousins bar 1 and I want my name to be carried on (I don't need a husband to have children but it would be nice to be married). Also I'm not up for giving up my identity which my surname certainly is a big part. And also as a tribute to my father who said to me..

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    • I don't remember saying it was not...

    • I can see you are not listening and just want to speak so go ahead and speak I let you talk to the wall...

  • No, and I wouldn't hyphenate them either. I do like the tradition so far, and am celibate, but not necessarily for marriage. How many of our parents, grandparents, and so on were truly celibate until marriage? It's probably something told to us. I also want the kids to definitely have my last name. All of this is the type of stuff you discuss before marriage and having kids. However, I'm pretty stubborn and I'm not up on the idea of either at the moment anyway.

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What Girls Said 5

  • These are going to be some very interesting answers, to say the least!

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  • I want to know the answer to this too. . .

    However, I should point out that it's perfectly acceptable to follow one tradition and not another, if that's what you want to do and both parties are fine with it.

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  • I wOnt give my last name to anyone,no one will take it.

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  • I would love to take his last name! Makes it feel like it is official and that I have joined his family.

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    • what about him joining your family? does that not happen if he doesn't take your name?

    • He joins my family but my family has made it clear that I am not worth as much as my brothers. Dumb I know. One other reason I want his last name because his family appreciates me more than my family...lol

    • yep, that's definitely reasonable! (also because you have brothers to carry the name)

  • I don't want to keep my last name lol. I'm getting my future husband's last name for sure.

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