Father's permission/blessing?

Do you think a guy should get your fathers blessing before proposing or is that an out of date tradition?

Updates:
Just curious cause I know one of the guys I work with did but he's the only one I know that did. But I was joking and said my boyfriend had to and he almost died till I told him it was a joke and that I wasn't serious about it. I don't really need anybodies permission as I have my only house and support myself.

0|0
9|5

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it is really sweet and polite. It is respectful to the parents. If it was me, I would be happy if the guy I wanted to marry asked both my parents before he proposed because I think it shows a real dedication and if he is willing to profess so openly and seriously that he loves me, then he is probably a better person for me. In today's time I wouldn't be crushed if a guy didn't do this, but I would really like it if he did.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • It's an out of date tradition and the implied meaning (which I strongly disagree with) is that the woman in question is not an independent human being. She is merely property being passed from the father to the husband. The idea of that disgusts me. And I would never want anything to do with a woman who, as an adult, felt she needed her father's okay on her own life's decisions.

    2|0
    0|1
    • LOL. Wow you think quite strongly on that, huh? I think there are more endearing reasons behind the "Father's blessing" of the marriage. He wants to be sure that you will take good car of his little girl. He loves her and only wants her to be with someone who will truly make her happy, basically he wants the very best for her. My father was never in the picture of my life, but I'd imagine if he was that'd be the reasons he'd want to give the okay for the marriage.

    • That may be, but I just can't help but see it as passing of property from one dominant male to the next. And I want no part in such a system since I do not see women as property.

    • But yes I do feel quite strongly about it.

  • I would, even if I knew he approved of me. Yes, she would be my girlfriend, but she was his daughter first. It's a sign of respect.

    I like this song... link

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well, having the approval of the inlaws would probably be a good thing, if you're going to be integrating with their family through her. From a practical standpoint, it makes sense, even if it does seem a bit antiquated.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's kind of dumb.

    1|0
    1|1
  • Nothing wrong about that.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 8

  • I don't think he has to, because he certainly doesn't NEED my dad's permission, and if I'm dead set on marrying the guy, I'll do it anyway. But I know my dad would appreciate that kind of 'old time show of respect', and it would mean a lot to ME to have his blessing/approval, because I'm daddy's little girl. =P BLESSING though, not permission. Subtle difference, but I need no one's permission, lol. That would make me feel like an object to take ownership of.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think it's out of date. Sure it is nice to have the approval of the woman's parents, but that tradition is rooted in the old practice of fathers providing a dowry along with their daughter so the newly married couple would have some sort of financial security. People don't really do that anymore.

    If a guy feels that his girlfriend's parents are the type who would appreciate or even require such a gesture, then he can do it. But it's not necessary anymore. My brother never asked for permission to marry his wife and he gets along fine with her parents.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honestly I am on the fence about it. I think its an endearing act but at the same time I feel it's not necessary. My father was never in the picture so It wouldn't matter to me one way or the other if he approved or didn't. His say wouldn't matter at this point.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Only if the girl respects her fathers' opinion. I would prefer a guy ask for my mothers' blessing. My father and I aren't on good terms.

    1|1
    0|0
  • i do like the idea of him asking my dad I mean I know my dad would appreciate it because I was his little girl who used to always get so excited going to father daughter dances with him when I was a girl scout...wow really long time ago ha ha but I know he would like to be asked at least

    0|0
    0|0
  • Getting the dad (and/or mom's) blessing is basically a show of respect. If they say yes and are on board, it can make for an easier future with the in-laws.

    0|0
    0|0
  • no, not necessary... but I sort of like the idea.

    0|0
    0|0
  • no. I don't have a dad (dead) so I guess I'm biased...

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...