Living in an indiferrent marriage better than risking it all for love?

I've been married to my husband for almost three years now and we got married for the benefits (in the military)and not really for love. But fate brought me a man who I'm very much in love with and he loves me in return and has pleaded me to leave my husband to be with him. However, I feel that I should stay true to my contract even though I'm not in love with my husband. Should I stay in a stable relationship or leave to be with the man I love not knowing what the future holds?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If I can be blunt. You married a military man because of benefits. Sounds rather selfish if you ask me. You don't realize that the man you married is risking way more than your marriage, he is risking his life! For what pursuit? FREEDOM! I am a former US Marine, which I can speak on terms, and have first hand experience of what is going on here. Your marriage is a sham, because you didn't love him, and you were looking for a free ride. Word to the wise, GET OUT OF THE MARRIAGE BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO GO WITH THIS OTHER MAN! Please do not think I am picking on you. I am just trying to hopefully open your eyes to the possibility that if you decide to LEAVE HIM, he gets into combat and is distraught because of what's going on in his home life, his wife is fooling around with some other guy, god forbid he gets into combat and slips up. Next thing that will happen he comes home in a body bag. Now that I have ripped you a new one! What happens if you get with this Jody. How will he take care of you? Do you know that? Or does he tell you things you'd like to hear cause possibly your man is busy defending our nation. You need to 1, get some courage and STAY, or 2, LEAVE.

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    • I understand where you're coming from, however, we both agreed it was just for benefits. He needed someone to cook and clean for him and I needed someone to pay my college loan. It was just a contract marriage, he gets to do whatever he wants...talk to women, go to bars, etc...But I am to stay home and wade on him hand and feet when he returns from work. I do EVERYTHING for this man, never complained and still dont, and loyally waited for his return every time he deployed. Still feel I am JODY?

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    • The term Jody, refers to a man who is the one you see, while he is away. The contract you mentioned, seems to be very unfair. After reading your response, if you really have genuine love for another man, who is not your husband, your actually better off with the other guy. Cause frankly, it's a marriage of convenience, who wants to be in that? Your his slave to put it bluntly! It is not fair to you. You deserve better than that! You deserve to have a life that is full-filling.

    • Typing that I was looking for a free ride because I didn't love him, is judging. I thank you for your advice but I didn't ask for you to play a whole scenario of what would happen if I left him. Typing about him slipping up and being in a body bag...As a marine and older gentleman I would have thought better of you.

What Guys Said 1

  • No one knows what the future holds. But by talking to your boyfriend you must get a complete idea of how he will manage his marital responsibilities. Finance , house, car , electronic appliances and most important : does he like children. It is better to marry your love rather than anyone.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Either way you don't know what the future holds. How do you know your husband won't end up leaving you for someone he falls for since he is not in love with you either? That is just an example but you really don't know how things will turn out no matter what you choose. I just made you even more confused didn't I? Sorry that was not my intention.

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    • If he does leave me, then at least I know I fulfilled my end of the bargain and move on.

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    • That's because I have seen it way to many times.

    • Obviously fulfilling the contract is most important part so I think you have already made up your mind. I guess you just needed some other perspective to see what you really want. Good luck. I wish you all the best.

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