Am I really to young to be engaged?

We are in love, and want to get married. So what's the shame in being engaged? Everyone is telling us that were to young and that we're gonna waste our lives? I don't see how. If we want to spend our lives together, that should be a good thing. And besides, its not like were gonna get married right away. He doesn't even wanna get married till he's out of college, has a job, and can support us. The same goes for me, though I wouldn't mind getting married while I was in college, I don't want to till I'm out of High school, So, am I really to young?

Plus everyone is telling us that were to young to know what love is, who are they to tell us how we feel. Were not idiots.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • How old are you? And well if you are under 18, then yes I think you are too young, you have so much time to get engaged and marry, I think you should live life first, because if you marry him you will have so little time to be single, and being single is great :D, are you sure that is what you want? you want to be him ALL your life? Well if it is then I guess go for it, but I mean I don't think it's a good idea, I have a friend and she go engaged at 17, it wasn't anything very official though for them two it was, but no one really took them seriously, then like a month after getting engaged they broke up because they realize they did not love each other that much, they were just infatuated with each other, and he was cheating on her so yes, it was just a big mess,i'm not saying is the same with you and that that is going to happen to you, but just make sure what you are feeling is real and not just infatuation or lust since you are prentending to spend your whole life with him, if what you are feeling is true love and what he feels is true love then go for it, but reconsider it first. I hope this help and good luck :)

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What Guys Said 8

  • Ho

    Ly

    Shit

    Seriously?

    What's with people these days -.-'... Not even out of high school and you want to be engaged.. What's next.. 16 and pregnant?

    You know what? I finally get that one quote from the TV show House... And yep.. They certainly are..

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  • Well the first love , and the first loves are the best of our existence even though we loved em or hated em we will never forget them until the day we die.Once you fallen in love for the first time its pretty hard to control yourself.

    Getting married is not that easy , specially when you still under 18, Most people will take as a bad decision even though it may seem fitting to you.

    See if you have experienced life like I did you will know that quick decision don't always produce the best long term results. Specially since you under 18 you can't really control yourself. Its OK just don't go too far. I know a user on the site who had the same dream of getting married before her age , but then realized it was not the right decision for after marriage you will have to get a house , a ring and a good source of money income to feed you and your babies(which will happen no matter what ,) So just be careful .

    Well I would say just wait till at least you get over 18 , since then you will have a much more better understanding on life, Yes I've been there too , sometimes it's really hard to control your feelings for someone , but you just have to keep them tight till the times right ( hey that actually rhymes !)

    Take you boyfriends advice , he knows that he needs to get a job to be a good husband and support the family , he probably won't like it if he got married at such a young age

    Just try to think about the good side and the bad side of every decision you take... People could get married at the age on 10 of they won't to but then it really doesn't make sense ! That's why people marry at a proper age.

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  • Well a lot of people want to experience more in life than being with 1 person the whole time. When your with someone it maybe harder to concentrate on yourself as well. Also your brain isn't done growing and you probably don't really understand a whole lot about yourself at your age. If you did get married and you break up you have to go through legal issues like alimony. Marriage statistics are worse for people under 30 as well. If it were me I'd wait til 25 or 30 at least to figure yourself and your life out.

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  • Yes, you're too young. When you're older you'll realize what they're talking about, and you might feel differently about this guy. There's no rush to get married. If this guy really is the right guy for you, you'll still be with him when you're older anyway whether you're married or not, then you can decide to go through with it because you'll know 100%.

    I'm not saying you're an idiot, but when we're young we all think we know what's best and we try to be grown up. We never listen to out parents or others giving us advice. The thing is they've been around a lot longer than you, they will have made a lot of mistakes and the only reason they're telling you this is to stop you from having to do the same. Listen to them.

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  • Married at 16, divorced at 21 with 2 kids, game over.

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  • your ideals and dreams will change many times and he probably won't fit into them. Your a teenager, so your in the puppy love stage. You latch onto a hot guy and fall head over heels for 6 months.. Then he cheats on you, breaks your heart, wants to move away to college. Life is too short to be tied to one person, when your not even an adult.

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  • One question: who pays for the ceremony?

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  • If you live at home with your parents because you can't support yourself in your own place, then yes--you are too young.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Everyone answering this tends to be judging your situation and writing you off as too young. Now, I have been in your shoes before, not exactly with marriage per say however, I have been involved in things where some may have judged me as incapable or too young so I know first hand how frustrating it can be.

    I am not here to judge you or act like a "big girl" and tell you what to do. Instead, unlike most, I will offer an Idea. I say, Go ahead and get engaged. Maybe you are too young to be married but why not try for a long engagement? If you two are absolutely POSITIVE that you want to spend your lives together then no one can stop you. It would be wise, however to hold off on the actual wedding for 2 or 3 years at the very least. LOTS of people have engagements that last that long if not longer so its not an abnormality, plus if you can make it that far while being engaged then you've only proven to everyone else that you are ready and can proceed with the marriage.

    I hope my advise helps you out. Best of luck

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  • First of all : there's no shame in being engaged.

    Now, if you're really under 18, you're a bit young in my opinion. It doesn't mean you won't be able to marry him before you're 30 years old. Go through high school, before you worry about marriage.

    You say he wants to wait until he's done with college, and that's very mature. You have all your life to enjoy with the one you love, and each and every step of your future life with him can be enjoyed.

    Also, college is a huge gap from high school, and it will make both of you change.

    My advice ? Take your time, and slowly go through the different steps.

    For instance, when you're done with high school, you could try to move in together for a while. That way you'll be able to know if you can live together.

    Once you're used to living with him, you could try the engagement in itself. Re-explore your relationship from another angle : you promised yourself to him, yet it's not completely sealed.

    I don't really know what's the average time between engagement and marriage, and I believe it's the couple's business anyway.

    If you feel the same about him after living with him, and being engaged, why not ? You would have what you wanted, you would have enjoyed every steps before, and you would still have lots of time to spend with your love :)

    I gave you my advice, and I know some people do it another way. My parents met at 19, married at 20, had a kid at 21. 35 years later and they're still in love :)

    I hope you found the one for you. If you did, then you're lucky : most people are still looking for the right one many years older than you ;)

    Have fun =D

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  • I'm gonna assume you're 16. I don't believe you are too young to know what love is, but I do think you are too young to get married. As for getting engaged, that is up to the boyfriend, since he is the one spending money on the engagement (ring). But really, if you are 16 and plan on spending your lives together, then what's the rush?

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  • I agree with Anon. If you are still living with your parents, then you are way to young. Before you even think about getting married, you should be able to support yourself because what if he suddenly just leaves you and you lose everything because he is paying for it? I don't think anyone is ready to marry if they are under 18 also. I know for sure that I am not ready. You probably don't even know your boyfriend very well. Dating is part of making sure that you and this guy are compatible. Date for more than a year or two. I suggest at least 5 years of dating to really get to know him. Then you will know for sure if you want to marry him or not. If you guys have been dating for a few months, then he could be hiding something from you. You never know what he is like if you haven't been dating for long. I would say, if you feel like you are ready to marry him, then wait. If he loves you, he won't leave you and he will wait for you. If not, he's not the one for you.

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  • People say you're too young simply because most engaged couples get married within a span of a few years. They're assuming that you will get married as soon as you turn 18.

    No one can tell you how to live your life or when to get married if you're at least 18. But at the same time, I don't really believe in marriage or children before the age of 25 because you usually are still maturing & trying to establish yourself, even after 4 years of college. Also, people change, especially in your age range. The guy you were with when you were 16 may not be the same guy when he's 21. Same goes for you. But that's a part of growing up. Marriage, children, living together, etc. will ALWAYS be here (or in the case of children, until menopause). There's no rush. Enjoy living life to the fullest & discovering yourself before you tie yourself down.

    Just make sure to ask yourself... do you REALLY want to get married, or are you in love with the IDEA of marriage? Not trying to insult you, just saying.

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  • well of course you are too young to think of marriage or engagement. if you are so confident of how you both feel about each other then what's the hurry?let him get on his two feet...u make your own career..and then get engaged, married have kids..become grand parents... whatever you want.

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  • I think the better question is: why the rush? Why get engaged now? Why not just enjoy each others' company until you've got that security you're waiting for?

    Yes, you're in love. But people change. You're both young, you're both figuring out who you really are. With that change, the 'love' changes. I don't think you're too young to understand what love is, but I think you ARE rushing for no apparent reason. I don't think it's necessarily about age, but life experience.

    Also, statistically speaking, couples who get married under the age of 24 have a far higher divorce rate. You might think you're the exception, but so did they.

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  • Sure you can get engaged (I think is is waaay to young though) but I wouldn't get married for at least 5 years, so you can know what a long term relationship is like, experience living with each other and all that. You aren't idiots and I do believe you know what love is but do you really feel the need to validate that by getting engaged? I think getting engaged without being in a relationship longer than 2-5 years or without knowing what it is like to live with each other is plain stupid and immature at any age. I agree with the people that are disagreeing because you might love him but you haven't had the chance to be in any other long term relationships and all, so really think in 20 years do you want to be the mother of his children etc...?

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  • Engagement is fine but marriage is too early for you. I'm like you he's a bit older than me and we love each other so much but we both are staying engaged and living on our own and seeing each other when ever we can but don't marry yet. I'ts too early learn to share your life with another first and then marry. I am doing this and tbh its hard but you work through it it makes you a stronger couple. I hope this helps :) message me if you want some help xxxx

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  • Idk how old are you?

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  • I'm surprised at all the pessimistic comments to your question. The only reason people are so against people getting married young is because society doesn't view marrying young as a good thing nowadays. Instead you go to college and once you have a job, then you get married. But back in the day they got married young all the time and I can't give you any real REASON why you can't get married to the one you love.

    This is your decision and don't let anyone else tell you differently.

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    • But that was back when women had nothing to look forward to other than being a housewife & mother.

  • How old are you?

    How long you been together?

    Is it really worth it if it doesn't work out?

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  • If you keep going this way, you will be married young or you won't be married at all (I don't care what your "plans" are) and settling down like that so young is just stupid. Wanna hear a little story? There's this girl, we call her "crazy" (seriously). It's my boyfriend's ex, everyone in his family calls her that because... she is. They were 20 and she begged him to move in together, so he did. Then she begged him to get married because she wanted babies and he's like f*** no I'm not having kids with you we're 20 years old she pushed it and pushed it and got mean with him because he wouldn't have a kid with her so he broke up with her. ONE month later, she got knocked up by a 45 year old man who worked at the gas station with her and married him a month after that. (This is all true). Don't be like crazy.

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