I'm a 20 year old college sophomore. I'm in the deepest hot water ever. My fiance of 3 years and I recently applied for a marriage license, thing is, I am NOT ready. With just a part time job, and less of 60 credit hours of college, I'm about to make a lifelong decision to marry the guy that I love because I'm afraid and he is afraid of being deported. I want to do it because I love him to death, than I don't, because what about my future? With no means of stable money, we will have to dwell with his mother for a year.
I'm stuck in a rut, because I was foolish enough to go this far, yet I am too afraid to tell him how I really feel about it at this point because I have once, and he freaked out and threatened that our relationship will be tarnished and that he is so in pain and suicidal. I love him, BUT I'm afraid to make this step. Today is the day I have to be honest with him, and come clean before I make this mistake and marry him before I am ready to do so. I don't want our relationship to be over, and I'm afraid him and his family will dislike me. What should I do? Advice. Thank you.
Most Helpful Guy
First thing first: the only thing that's final and can't be undone is death. Almost everything else has a simple solution and you may want to take a step away from your situation and consider this to try and find the way of fixing this. Not every situation is binary, most times you have more than a YES or NO answer so take it easy, one step at a time.
Having said that, you don't need to give up your studies because you get married. And you don't need to give up on marriage for your studies. If you can't handle both for any reason (be it money, life circumstance or whatever it is), then all you have to do is postpone one for some time until you feel you can revisit it.
Then, something comes up in your text: your boyfriend is either too dramatic or in desperate need of professional assistance (as in a shrink) to deal with that desperation he has. While I was reading you I had the impression he's kind of holding you captive with that threat of committing suicide. Not cool, and not sane. Consider this before you make any decision.
Finally...I would say that you need to step out of yourself for a few moments and try to think this as objectively as possible. Do not consider just one factor (i.e.: "if there's love, that's all I need"), but all of them. Also try to think on mid-term effects of your decisions and what is it you want to do.
Good luck :)5
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