Is it weird if my brother that is three years younger than me gets married before I do?

I'm 27, and my brother is 24. He is going to get proposed soon to a girl that's 21. He has a really good paying professional career...no debt and wants to get his life started. He thinks that he is already getting old and wants to start a family, because all of his friends already have. Apparently the girl has already gotten many men interested in marrying her, so my brother wants to snag her now.

I feel insecure for saying this, but I felt like a loser, because I'm almost 28...if my own brother thinks he is getting old, I wonder what people think about me. And no one has been interested in having a relationship with me either, let alone marriage. Plus, I'm still in school and about $75,000 in school loan debt...that's a lot of baggage, and I won't be out of that mess until my late thirties...is that too old to even think about getting married?

Updates:
***sorry about the poor grammar mistakes...I meant my brother is going to get engaged soon...

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Most Helpful Guy



  • I don't think you should rush into anything and end up with a "mistake" because you rushed.

    However, I do think its passed time you get started looking around. Trust me, the years will start to move faster, and faster, and faster... Don't blink, because you might miss them.

    The school and the debt shouldn't impact your chances for finding happiness. A lot of girls have an education and college loans, and so do many of the boys. This is not unusual, or raise any eyebrows, or make someone say "oh hell no" or anything like that.

    I also don't think there is anything wrong, circumstances granting of course, with actually marrying while you are still going -- as long as it is not a catalyst for you dropping out. I married in my last semester of school.

    Also, school is where you are going to find the best picks. Get out into the working world, and the whole dating scene changes. I think it would be more challenging to find a good life partner later on. Now is a good time to just start dating and preparing, because it will be a few years before you can probably sort out who you want to marry, or know someone long enough to marry them with certainty in your heart.

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    • I'm in med school...almost all the guys are already married or are in a serious relationship...so school is not the place to find them for me.

    • I figured as much that it was med school. I also forgot to take into account that males are enrolled less in higher education than females, so competition is harder within that pool.

      Well, its either compete or develop a taste for lesser educated partners.

What Guys Said 4

  • I don't see the purpose of life being a race to reach certain milestones. Everyone has their unique blend of problems. If they're successful in a few outward aspects of their life, that doesn't mean they don't have their own insecurities and difficulties. I'm guessing you're on your way to a successful career, you're a pretty girl, presumably intelligent, you have lots going for you. And yet you don't appreciate what you have? I see life in terms of being one big learning experience, overcoming certain obstacles, hopefully becoming ever more compassionate and eventually gaining insight and wisdom. By societal standards I'm a loser too. Why does it matter? Does it really matter what others think?

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    • I'm failing out of medical school...and $75,000 in debt...so no, not on my way to a successful career...I really try to think about the good things going for me, but whatever, hopefully I'll die soon and not have to worry about anything.

    • Well yes, that would certainly be a solution, some might say a little extreme though :P I might be able to give you some suggestions, you can PM me, if you like. Not that I profess to be especially wise. I need to go to bed now though.

  • dont worry about it. I think your brothers making a mistake, I think anyone married before 25-26 is going to regret it. 28 isn't old, plus your a pretty girl. I'm sure there's tons of guys who would be interested in you

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  • First off, I'm REALLY sorry

    It's not weird. I'm jealous of my younger brother as well (I'm 27 too by the way, and he's 25) - he's been done with college for years and has a good career. I've got a crap job, I'm in big debt (just like you), and I'm only in my 2nd year of college...

    Let's face it - you and I both are alone and miserable, but at least we're alive?

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    • Well...I'm hoping that I die soon...being miserable isn't worth it.

    • Nah... even though I feel the EXACT same way, I know it isn't right... we have to keep going

    • Yea, there are so many people with either terminal disease or other life threatening problem who would wish to be in your place.

  • You have plenty of time.

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