I have a girlfriend (my first) and she talked about marriage briefly after 2 years. I usually am into it, but after a talk with my best friend, I've had second thoughts. Is marriage a death sentence for men? What is there to gain that can't be gained already?
What if a divorce happens? We'd lose the house, car, and kids, and at least half the income. Prenups get cut up by good lawyers. I could turn into a money slave for loving. What are your thoughts? Am I missing something?
Most Helpful Girl
The risks you have outlined are those you face with women who aren't really women. Individuals who conduct themselves in that matter may be female, but the lack of graciousness you seem to be worried about is what prevents females like that from being true women.
If you are confident that your girlfriend is an honorable, trustworthy woman, then I don't think you have much to worry about. Relationships do decay, but I'm a witness to the fact that it isn't always the exwife who winds up with everything.
My father, though I love him, is a manipulative, emotionally abusive person. He's very intelligent, but he uses his with to harm. I live in a small town, and when he wanted an open marriage with my mother (after she discovered he was cheating with the neighbor) and she refused, he made certain that nearly everyone was turned against her. As a child, I watched people treat her poorly in public, even when I was with her - which wasn't often. He had enough money - though he didn't work, unless you consider drug dealing a real job - to keep taking my mother to court until he got primary custody of me. Once he won that, he dropped me off with his parents. Everything that my father kept from the marriage - the house, me, furniture, etc - he pretty much disposed of after he made his point.
So, no, marriage isn't necessarily a death sentence for anyone. It isn't easy, anybody can yell you that. It takes a hell of a lot of work. I don't think two years is enough time to spend together prior to marriage, and in most cases I think several years of engagement is very important. Living together before marriage can be revealing of how things could be down the road.
More than anything, it depends on how you two as a couple work and how compatible you are with each other.0
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