Here's one: are there any guys out there who are willing to wait till the wedding night anymore?

It used to be tradition. Now it just seems like a stigma. For some reason, guys think that if you don't sleep with them, you don't love them enough. So, they just leave for someone more "willing." I've seen it happen to almost every woman in my family...Does it have to happen to me too? I wonder why these guys (and I'm not saying all guys) feel that their feelings are more valid and, if anyone's compromising, why it has to be the woman.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are a few things that must be right for any marriage to work. They are:

    Personality compatibility: this include trust and agreement on financial and personal life.

    Sex life: Let face it, guys are genetically program have sex as much as possible because it is important to him passing on genetic code. God made us this way, and the theory of evolutionary science said so as well.

    You can't have a lasting relationship if either are not functioning. It is easy to find out personality incompatibility because when it happens, you guys argue.

    Sex is a whole another story. I won't buy a house without looking at it first. I won't buy a car without test driving it. I am not saying that women are object, I am saying that marriage is a big investment. Way bigger than a car and a house and I want to make sure that I like it before committing my life to it.

    Marriage are happening later and later in today's society. A lot of people marry well after they are 30, so 20 years is a long time to stay horn and 35 years is a long time to stay a virgin.

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    • Just so you know, I'm no where near 35 years old; I put 1980 as YOB as in 1980s because I don't particularly like strangers knowing my age. I think the reason marriages are happening later and later is because more women are sleeping with men before marriage. I know a lot of unwed mothers who sleep with their boyfriends for years before he decides to run off. Now I know getting married doesn't mean he'll stay forever. But if he loves you enough to wait, I think she stands a better chance.

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    • I wasn't in a position to offer a lady anything, but I was in a relation with a few women. None of them really take it too seriously because each of us don't know where we are going to end up after we graduate. We made sure accidental pregnancy don't happen and nobody gets hurt. I don't see the the big deal is.

    • Statistic show that marriage of between religious couple have the same failure rate as non-religious couple. I assume the religious couple are more likely to wait to have sex until after they are married.

      Take that however you want to take it. We are all entitle to do whatever we want. This country is great.

What Guys Said 8

  • I didn't and I wouldn't wait. So do all the girls who marry 95 % of American men and so did their grandmothers: link link

    Premarital sex is normal behavior for the vast majority of Americans, and has been for decades. According to what I know, many Muslim girls don't wait unil their wedding night either.

    If you want to be part of the 5% who wait, it's up to you.

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  • Waiting 'til the marriage is a risk far too great to take.. and the benefits of it? Actually none.

    So.. what do you risk for?

    -That sex gonna be bad, and it's like Pandora's box - routine, cheating, p0rn addiction, prostitution

    -That you'll be tied by marriage and unhappy - there was no chance to take the "test drive"

    -That your partner got low sex drive. Nobody wants to be anxious all their marriage years

    And the benefits?

    -You satisfy unreasonable demand of your partner, whether it's religion or lack of sex drive

    Get this that it's NOT ''noble" or "romantic" to wait for it - that's asking for trouble.

    Unsatisfied sex life equals unsatisfied relationships.

    And that's from where big problems appear.

    But it can be avoided.

    It can be prevented.

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    • But that's exactly my point: those are your feelings and those of most other men. Why should those feelings determine whether a relationship will survive rather than a woman's conviction to remain a virgin until she's married because (whether or not you share that belief) she believes it's right? Don't kid yourself--by not respecting her beliefs, you're putting your needs above hers.

      Thanks for posting.

    • Maybe.. but I got this nasty thing called "attitude" ..I respect needs and beliefs of other people as long as they're not unreasonable and violating my own needs.

      If a woman wants to stay a virgin.. fine with me.. but I won't accompany her in that road.

  • i'm sure that you can find a man who shares your values. I have the opposite attitude, I wouldn't want to be with a girl with those values as they are very much not my own (no offense, to each her own).

    It's not about stigma. It's about self-respect and self-awareness. I don't want to be with someone who thinks that their sexuality is tied to marriage or belongs to their future husband.

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  • Why would anybody wait for marriage anymore? Sex is great, it's healthy and it's also a bonding experience, there's no reason to wait until marriage.

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    • its healthy in a loving relationship

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    • Just because she has a moral objection, it doesn't mean she isn't interested in you or doesn't want to have sex. It just means she has a belief that keeps her from doing it. That shows a lot of restraint and should (though it doesn't these days) warrant respect.

    • If she has a moral objection to premartial sex, I probably wouldn't be interested in her in the first place. That's such an oldfashion ideal. I need sex in a relationship, if I can't have it, I doubt we would be compatable.

  • Well one problem is that I was not ready to marry until after age 25 and heading towards 30...ok...if I really loved you..you might convince me to wait...but does that mean only intercourse? Or all sexual activities?...if only intercourse then that is entirely workable...if NO sex..then I guess we would have to have a discussion as to what my sexual interests are...because I would not want to get into a marriage and find out that you were unwilling to have sex with me the way I want and need it...(:

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    • Sure, you and she could discuss your needs. And trust me, if you're willing to let a girl wait til marriage, she'll make it up to you.

    • well a couple of my female friends on here have said they feel that at least 80% of females would cooperate with me..and my experience has been that most females will do almost anything if they are in a steady relationship...OK...if I was ready to marry..probably have to be at LEAST 25 and she would absolutely guarantee me that my fixations would not be a problem..then I would probably go along..I take it that you mean No Sex Whatsoever?

  • If they're splitting up, nobody is compromising, and nobodies feelings are 'more valid'

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  • The problem with waiting until wedding night is that you won't know how you feel about their sex until then. What if he's bad or..not your preferred size. You have to know how he is before you do it because who wants the failure of a marriage based off of how bad or big he is

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    • But should that really matter? I mean, come on, we live in the age of technology. If you love someone, you should be able to find a way to make it work, right?

    • No, if anything, technology has made it worse, not better

  • The reason I don't want to is because it doesn't make any sense to me. Not because I'm so horny that I can't wait, haha. I'll wait a LONG time if the girl isn't comfortable with sex yet, obviously, but just because she's waiting for a piece of paper? It's pointless to me. It's not that my feelings are more valid than hers, it's simply that I wouldn't want to be with someone I'm not compatible with, and we can't be all that similar if she thinks marriage is so important to how much we love each other.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i'm not having sex with my man till then either.. if he truly loves you and respects your decisions he'll be fine with waiting till you're comfy.

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    • Hey, another Georgia Peach! I used to live in Valdosta :) Thanks for posting. Yours is the only one that doesn't shatter my faith in mankind, lol

    • np! nice to meet a ga peach who seems to have some sense on this site haha.. valdosta.. dang that's south ga haha.. I've never been that south except when I drove down to fl.

  • I know of a few who will wait. My boyfriend is one of them. For him it's a religious thing, and also something that his dad drilled into his head since he was old enough to know what sex was. I definitely admire his self-control, and I think it's much more romantic to wait until marriage. Plus, that way, you don't have to worry about living up to expectations you think a more experienced guy might have, and figuring it all out is another journey you can take together.

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