Is This Right?

My fiance of 7 months lives with her ex-lover of 12 years. She's a minimum wage worker, and says that she lives with him because she can't afford her own place. My question is: Is it right for her to hide me from him, and also her engagement ring?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I see you're still in the same situation. Can't remember what my answer was to you when you asked this before, but I'm guessing it will still be the same.

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    • Caught me. Your prior advice was good advice and I broke things off, however, after a month apart she is now trying to keep it alive, but not willing to make changes. Strangest thing I've ever seen. Can't imagine she could actually be in love with me and act this way, but when I agreed to see her one more time, and we embraced and kissed for last time...she cried. I know her well, she never shows emotions. Can only scratch my head. Thanks for helping

    • I think she loves both of you and can't decide what she wants. That's why she keeps trying to keep things going with you but refuses to get away from her ex. Her excuses are lame. I had to work 80 hours a week to live on my own but I did it, both at minimum wage jobs. She has other reasons for staying in her ex's house. I think she loves you both.

What Girls Said 6

  • first off, and please excuse my french, but why the f*** is she not staying with you if you are engaged. Do you have your own place? Did you ever ask he to come stay with you? if she said no, 1) she still loves her ex, and maybe even banged him a few times. if she was so in love with you as she says, her ex will know by now. and he may not really be her ex, he could be her boyfriend too. you don't stay with your ex from 12 years.its too much love. her ex don't know because he is not her ex but her boyfriend.dont get played by this female. she is stringing both you guys along for the ride. :) give her an ultimatum: tell her she tells her boyfriend, I mean ex-boyfriend, that you two are engage, wear the ring, and move out and move in with you. if she says no, there is your answer. just think how would it look if your wife was staying with a ex boyfriend, and not her HUSBAND!

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  • Hmm..this is very odd, I noticed it says your over 45 so I'm guessing your fiance is in the 30-45 range?..maybe its time to get a new job? Have you asked her to move in with you? Tell her there's no need to be with her ex, she is your fiance, she should be with you, tell her you will take care of her, you will support her, if she says no, I really don't know what to say, that is apart of the married life..so if she says this, she is not ready for the married life..as for hiding the engagement ring, I don't really know what to say, if I was engaged I would wear my ring with pride, it is a symbol of love and togetherness, it shows she is urs and no one elses..you should approach her, ask her tell her its hurts your feelings...

    I really don't know what else to say sorry. Hope I helped

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  • That's a bit odd of her. It's almost a bit fishy too. Even on minimum wage I managed to live on my own with some roommates. At one point I had 3 jobs so I could live on my own and have extra cash. This is just too fishy to me. If things are over why would she hide her ring. I am very proud of being engaged and have no problem telling anyone about it. I would be very suspicious of this activity if I were you. What are her excuses?

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  • This situation couldn't smell anymore fishy if you were living right on top of the Hudson river. First off, there is most likely another person she could live with, I don't know maybe you... considering that you're engaged and all. Second, it's not right that she hides you or the ring from this other guy. If it was over between them what is there to hide? Isn't he going to find out eventually? Sounds to me like you're getting played.

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  • have you asked her to move in with you? in my opinion this sounds bad,i think you are being taken for a fool,it eems like she wants the best of both worlds,ask her right out what the truth is,and if she makes up excuses to not move in with you,drop her fast! oh and get the ring back too! good luck

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  • no that's not right. no at all. I'm sure she has her reason but what about ur feelings. sounds like she's not sure what she really wants. she could be holding back in this manner because she doesn't want to completely lose her ex-boyfriend. but the question here is why not? shouldn't she be happy and excited about the engagement? & want to show the ring off to everyone. that's what its all about. not hiding and lying.

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What Guys Said 3

  • She's likely still with the guy and playing you both. 10 to 1 he doesn't know about you because he's still banging her once in a while. How did you find out about her and him? Was it by accident, after you pressured her into it, or did she willingly offer it up out of the clear blue?

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  • Why hasn't she moved in with you?

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  • Hey tell her that this is wrong or get the hell out of that relationship

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