Why do so many guys have to propose in such lavish and public places?

Like at ball games or in front of their family? I don't mean to criticize, I just prefer not to promote or out on a show for people when proposing. It is no doubt a bold and kind gesture but I have just never been into professing my love or showing it off for people. Not to say that is should be hidden either, but I always considered that sort of thing to be special and private like a secret that only he and I share and no one will really have the pleasure of knowing. Plus so many guys do it the same way and it takes away from the uniqueness of their relationship and it becomes mundane and ingenuous. Anyway I was just curious as to why some really go for that kind of thing

Updates:
I think a proposal can still be special and greatly memorable without being over the top and showy, my concern is that when its big it is no longer about what they share and the special bond they have
I personally would love to be proposed to without a ring, not to say that I do not want one ever but to me it's all about the emotions and the bonds not the vanity of it all. you can still have a great story to tell, I think it makes a better story when it is personal and intimate and unique rather than a jumbo-tron question surrounded by thousands of strangers

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Most Helpful Guy

  • yea I don't like that either. if I was to propose I'd make it private, just two of us enjoing the moment.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I feel the same way, that's why when I propose to my fiance I decided to pick a time where we are alone and there's no one around. We will on vacation on an island late at night, during one of our walk. I bought a beautiful ring, but I decided to propose at tonight because I did not want the sparkle of the rings to influence her decision.

    There were no doubt in my mind that she would said yes, but if it was any doubt at all, I wanted her to express a concern to me without any pressure.

    To be fair, she expressed to me numerous times that she wants to get married, so I was not afraid that she say no. I think if there were any doubts, over the answer, you guys are not ready. It's never a good idea to force her into anything, especially marriage.

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    • you are right about the pressure, I completely agree with all of this

  • Most of it is Hollywood...the rest of it is fear.

    You want it to be super-special...for most guys, that means going big and obtrusive and ridiculously impersonal.

    Others just think that if they can't come up with something amazing then they will be measured as such for the rest of the marriage.

    One important thing for you to understand right now is that most men are altogether fragile and insecure and dependent and emotional...

    A good amount of effort and time is spent convincing both you and himself that he is a 'big' man...confident, capable, steadfast, etc...

    But as for the lavishness, it is simply the definition of masculinity to think things must be bigger and better than all things previous. This carries over to muscles, vehicles, and of course, the male member...

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    • @A good amount of effort and time is spent convincing both you and himself that he is a 'big' man...confident, capable, steadfast, etc...

      Do you think one person can attempt to convince another person, that the one person is confident. capable, steadfast etc... without implying, or directly asserting the person they are trying to convince, is weak, inconstant, & not capable?

      im just curious as to what you think.not saying you said anything one way or the other.

  • I think it's sort of overrated but at the same time your suppose to only get married once so why not try to make it special? And let be a story you tell your kids, grandkids, & great gandkids if you live long enough lol.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'm not a complicated girlfriend and my boyfriend and I are unofficially engaged after 3 amazing years together, he says he wants to do things "Right" and propose to me with the ring and all that because I actually proposed to him, which had him both laughing and tearing up because I did so through a video game. I made him a very complicated difficult to beat level on little big planet too (don't judge me, we both love that game!) that took me 3 months to make, and all along the way to the end it had hidden sweet messages.

    But since he is going to talk to my parents, and wants to do things "Right" I don't want him to keep himself up at night thinking about him, My dream proposal would be letting our mini dachshund into my store with the ring hanging from a ribbon around him neck fallowed by My Boyfriend walking in with a little dog tag that says Something like "Marry us?"

    I don't know I'm weird though. Having my little puppy, (who is my baby) Involved would make me happy!

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  • i definitely wouldn't do something like that, in public. it would make it feel rediculous.

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    • I don't know how to reply to your comment above...

      "Do you think one person can attempt to convince another person, that the one person is confident. capable, steadfast etc... without implying, or directly asserting the person they are trying to convince, is weak, inconstant, & not capable? "

      But I completely agree that the authority one party assumes over the other in a situation like that is evidence of that person implying that they are in control and the other person is subordinate

    • Would you say that your passage, implies, Men spend time trying to convince themselves & their gfs, that Men -should- have authority within & over the relationship?

      I ask, because what I hear in that passage, is that you think, Men think, they are/ should be, the stronger, and more capable person in the relationship.

      Is that what you meant?

      The message underscoring,him being convincing them he is confident& capable ..seems to be, implying that he is 'more so' than she is.

    • I personally, don't think you necessarily need to be saying someone else is weak, in order to say you are strong.

      I suppose the way you put it, made it seem as tho you were saying men are trying to convince Men & Women they are the strong one (woman are not as strong) as apposed to just being strong.

      Tho, I'm not sure why I took it that way, as you did not actually say that, and I do not actually think that way.

  • I used to work at Applebee's (which happens to be quite possibly the least classy chain restaurant) and you would be shocked at the amount of people who actually propose there. I am horrified just thinking about it. The most hilarious part is that every time it happens, the people who work there are always in the kitchen talking sh*t and laughing about it.

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    • hahaha, oh my that is awesome

    • Show All
    • lol, no food in the pool: that includes breast milk

    • exactly

  • it's harder for the girl to say no.

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