Or, happier having a long term partner, but not being married to them? What is the difference? I hear you asking. Well I am not sure but it seems there is a difference. All the married people I know (some with kids some without) seem to be rather unhappy. It seems to me that although they love their partner part of them wishes they weren't married to them. My friends on the other hand who have long term partners but are not married (again some with and some without kids) seem to be happier. They have more sex, the men still try and be romantic, and well the women have still have become fat - just like married ones! Lol. Anyway, given what I've witnessed I'm not sure abut the whole marriage thing. I love the idea if it, but maybe that is very different from the reality of it. What do you think?
Most Helpful Girl
i think you are making broad generalizations.
marriage is a commitment. nowadays I think people are less willing to make it work, or expect more. it's about expectations.
and also in some peoples' lifestyles it is more important than others, such as religious folks, etc.
I definitely want to be married someday. If I don't I will feel like a failure.
Then again, I'm scared sh*tless. So much can go wrong too.
But you both have to be willing to make it work, and finding marriage is kind of different than finding a boyfriend or girlfriend. Marriage is more serious, more of an "arrangement". I think sometimes people confuse marriage and romance. Ideally they could work together and you have those feelings towards your partner. But people don't take into account that life is hard and things change over time. If all you have is your romance you are f***ed. You need similar values, goals in life, you have to both be willing to make it work and commit yourselves.
I am sure there are so many unhappily married people and there are so many divorced people. But I also see many happy married people, so it depends.
I read somewhere that most people fall in the median. A small number of people would classify their marriage as seriously unhappy, and a slightly larger number but not that high would classify themselves as very happily married, and the majority would say they are satisfied but not thrilled in their marriage.
Truth is sometimes my parents' relationship makes me worry about my own future. While they are married and actually faithful to each other they don't seem so crazy into each other but the truth is I think it is just because one of my parents is a VERY difficult person and if I was in that position I don't know if I could handle it but as I said, make it work. I would say my parents are in that median, not awful but not so happy or over the moon about each other at all. They definitely "make it work". It's a bit glum but true.
I expect my future marriage to not always be happy and bliss. I expect us to work together and be decent. I just hope I end up pleasantly surprised and happy and that the sexual attraction lasts, but I don't expect that romance.
I think many married people bitch and moan but would rather not be alone. Because once you hit a certain age the young single life is gone and you are all alone.
I wish I could speak to married people about these things and hear the hard cold truth about it.0